1303 items as of 02/03/2024
This is a curated list of the things I've read over the past 10 years or so. Many (most) of these are written by Christians to Christians in committed, covenant marriages, though some are not, but still may have some wisdom or raw information to contemplate. Not everything here may be 100% biblical, though I do think the overwhelming majority of the thoughts and opinions in these come from a place of:
These are mostly perspectives by individuals or couples who have experienced brokenness and healing, successes and failures, and professional counselors, therapists, and pastors who have seen thousands of people and have formed examples of success based on that experience.
Conversely, there may also be things here which are somewhat incompatible with covenant marriage, in-part or whole, but I thought worth saving. HOWEVER, it is critical to remember that The World did not invent marriage, nor did it create the vast depth and breadth of intimate pleasure which is possible within marriage-- GOD DID. The bottom line is to keep what's good, ignore what's not, all while listening to the guiding voice of the Holy Spirit and the Bible to point to the real truth. A link to a particular article is not necessarily an endorsement of its content or agreement with it.
The links are sorted alphabetically by the website name where they're found, except for recently-added links, which are marked with NEW!. A star denotes particularly salient content, or it may just be a favorite of mine.
Clicking a topic tag will filter the article list by that tag. Clicking a site name will show items only from that site. Refresh the page to reset everything.
There are dozens of meds out there that have proven effects on libido, and one of the biggest offenders is anti-depressants.
Below are several areas to consider with your fiancé/spouse within the topic of Conflict Resolution Skills in Marriage. The subject matter and Scriptures should serve as a starting point but it is not meant to be exhaustive. Conflict will happen.
Remember when you and your wife were dating? It was really difficult to keep your hands off each other. You wanted her and she wanted you. That felt so good. It was awesome. There’s no better feeling than being desired.
5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex Read More »
10 Myths Teens Believe about Sex and Relationships Read More »
When you got married, you probably didn’t imagine sex during marriage would be like this. After all, you love each other. You are attracted to one another and have good chemistry. However, when you are intimate, there is something missing. Maybe it’s a new development in your relationship.
During the Coronavirus pandemic with many of us having to go into lockdown, relationships can be under even greater strain.
Here are 4 reasons God is not taking away your desire for sex during your season of singleness. Asking God to take away your sexual desire is like asking God to take away your ability to feel hungry when you lack food. Feeling hungry is not a bad thing. It is a sign you were made to eat food.
I’ve been married a long time. Like over 20 years. And I can say the topic of sexual intimacy and sex in a Christian marriage is a tender one, a sensitive one, to me. Nothing has brought heartache… and joy… to my life and marriage quite like the marriage bed.
As we’ve discussed before, many men these days have trouble being assertive. One of the things these “Nice Guys” struggle with is communicating their needs to others.
Depending on your familiarity with the term and the sex act it describes, “cunnilingus” might sound incredibly daunting, or just plain hot. Cunnilingus is a latin term for oral sex performed on a vagina.
Blowjobs. Fellatio. Getting head. Playing the skin flute. OK, maybe I'm the only one who still uses that last one. What I'm trying to get at here is that there are a ton of different terms for oral sex. Why? Simple. Because men just love oral sex.
Most men would enjoy nothing more than laying back and enjoying the slow, sensuous feel of a pair of wet lips wrapped around their penises.
Is this really all there is? If you’ve ever felt this way about your sex life, you’re not alone. In this episode, Dr.
Teaching your kids a biblical view of sex starts with simple, everyday conversations about God, how He designed our world, and why we can trust Him. Hillary Ferrer, co-author of Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality, joins Juli for the sixth episode in the "Making Sense of God & Sex" series.
Every couple does a sexual "dance" as they navigate around wounds and insecurities. You know that "dance" you do when deciding who's going to pick up the kids or where you're going to go on vacation? Yep, it shows up in the bedroom.
Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” I’ve experienced this bind. Have you? I desperately want to build the hero in my husband. I want to see his strength, but I find myself too afraid and too proud to trust him.
As I stood in front of the mirror, I counted the number of scars displayed across my stomach, splattered across my belly like a toddler with a crayon. How could I ever feel beautiful again, let alone sexy? My thoughts were interrupted as my husband came up behind me and put his arms around my body.
by Zack Skarka My guest on the blog today is my favorite human, Zack Skarka! After I shared my struggle with body image last week, I invited Zack to tell his side of the story too.
Be on the lookout for Juli's new book, "God, Sex & Your Marriage," coming June 2022! There are a lot of things we say are important to us but end up taking a back seat to busyness and the distractions that clamor for our attention. Intimacy in marriage is usually one of them.
Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my needs?”
When I talk to women about sex in marriage, one of the most common concerns is their bodies. “I’m just not sexy!” Practically every woman feels like she is either too old, too fat, too flat-chested, or too plain to be sexy.
In many marriages (but not all), sexual intimacy is very high on a husband’s list. In books like William Harley’s His Needs, Her Needs, sex is listed as the number one thing a husband needs in marriage.
My guest today is Francie Winslow. Francie hosts the weekly Heaven in Your Home podcast where she offers fresh, biblical ways of thinking about married sex and what it reveals to us about God. We just endured a brutally exhausting Christmas break.
I just read a book by Dr. Lisa Wade called American Hookup which describes the sexual culture on college campuses. Sexual activity has been so severed from relationship that kids “hooking up” are discouraged from even talking to the person they just had sex with.
If you haven’t noticed, our views on sexuality have changed quite a bit over the past 20 years. Americans are far more accepting of behaviors they once considered to be sexually immoral.
Excerpted from 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery. © 2015 by Moody Publishers. Used with Permission. (Presione aquí para leer en español) "I hate sex. It makes me angry to hear you even suggest that I’m supposed to be enjoying it.
*The two-part blog series we’re kicking off this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!*
Do you need to change what you wear in the bedroom? Like me, maybe you choose your sleepwear based on comfort and not to entice. I much prefer Life is Good to Victoria Secret in the bedroom, but we will save that conversation for another day.
Since I speak and write books on sex, I get asked questions—a lot of questions.
If someone asks you, “What are your thoughts on cohabitation?” or “Do you believe God is ok with gay marriage?” how would you respond? To answer those questions, you will (without even realizing it) tap into your underlying beliefs about the purpose of sexuality.
True Love Waits. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Promise rings. These are the touchstones of predominant teaching on sexual purity promoted by the Christian community throughout the past several decades. Yet, the word purity among today’s Christian adults can elicit feelings of shame and even anger.
One of the most awkward things about my job is describing it to someone. I really don’t like answering the question, “What do you do for work?” I’m never quite sure how to explain to a stranger that I run a Christian ministry focused on sexuality.
Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different? For many years, I thought that might be my first question to God when I got to heaven. The differences between me and my husband, particularly in the bedroom, were driving us both crazy.
I didn’t always have a good grasp on godly sexual passion. Fortunately, I learned! And along the way, I have encouraged others. Maybe that’s why you’ve landed at this blog post today. You want more godly sexual passion in your marriage and you’re curious what it will take to experience that.
Even though you might know what you want to say, most people cannot just decide to talk about sex and effectively communicate. Our reaction, tone, attitude and even silence communicate more about sex than our words. Before your kids even hear your words, they will pick up on your emotions.
Our world has drastically changed in the last 30 years. The internet provides endless knowledge, opinions and images – both positive and negative. Definitions for marriage and sexuality continue to morph as culture changes. We live in a fast-paced world constantly bombarded with sexual messages.
She 2 My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. 3 I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.
The in and out thrusting of intercourse used to do nothing for more me, besides sometimes make me sore. I felt confused, broken and somehow duped. But as I started to understand more about my body and how it worked, I felt encouraged.
One of the questions I ask when I teach Awaken-Love is “How did you first learn about sex? Not just how babies are made, but sex?”
We probably ought to start by talking about how I would define a sexual awakening. As with anything, you cannot change your spouse, but you can strive to be a positive influence in their life.
Girls and boys have such different experiences discovering their bodies. By the time boys are potty training, they are forming a very hands on relationship with their penis. It is part of everyday life to touch and hold their penis, and it can quickly become a best friend.
One of the best ways to help your wife BELIEVE sex is just as important for her as it is for you, is to give her a FREEBIE. Serving her will communicate that you care about her enjoyment as much as yours.
The more I get to know my husband’s body , the more I find it absolutely AMAZING! For the next 3 weeks we are going to spend time getting to know our husband’s body and we are going to start with his penis. Song of Songs 5:14 His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires.
Men can have multiple orgasms. MEN can learn to have more than one orgasm.
It can take time to get comfortable loving your husband with oral sex. Start slow and just get to know him. Spend time touching him, kissing him, watching him and licking him. Lube him up with coconut oil so that you can combine hand work with your mouth.
After teaching over 500 women about sex, it is clear that most wives have the same insecurity, “Does he really want to be down there.
Men love oral sex but I think their enjoyment is amplified multiple times when we enjoy it too – and I don’t just mean because we like to give them oral sex. I mean we enjoy it – like it turns us on and it arouses us.
Most men love to receive oral sex, but many wives struggle to enjoy giving it. A penis can feel scary and foreign up close. Oral sex can also feel dirty because of past experiences or messages we’ve received.
Where a husband wants to finish during oral or manual sex can stir up a land mine of emotions for wives. Some women love the passion of experiencing their husband in new ways. Others hold fear, disgust, discomfort or reservation about opening up options.
Oral sex can be one of the sweetest ways for your husband to pleasure you but it has it’s own challenges. Awake, north wind, and come south wind!
Humans are meaning makers. Unlike animals that simply go through life eating, reproducing and doing what they must to survive, people constantly interpret life. We map our world to measure our worth and the validity of our actions.
What follows are step by step instructions on getting to know your wife’s vulva. The goal is not to bring her to orgasm but to learn what feels good. Sharing her body with you is probably the most vulnerable thing your wife will do.
Every kid is different, every family is different, every experience is different and I do not don’t have all the answers, but below are 10 tips for conversations with your kids about SEX. Start every conversation by affirming them. You could affirm a young child for his natural curiosity.
Many wives struggle in receiving oral sex. Some think oral sex is completely wrong and don’t want their husband to try. Others don’t have a moral objection, but just can’t seem to relax. If you aren’t sure, find out what the Bible says.
Culture teaches that great sex just happens naturally. So, when a woman’s body does not respond during intercourse, it is easy for her to feel broken or defective.
Trust seems like such a basic ingredient for a great sex life and yet I am just starting to understand the depth of importance. Though basic trust in a marriage feels very similar for men and women, the challenges men and women face during sex vary drastically.
Has date night become a chore instead of a joy? Here’s how to get excited about date night, even if you have been married for a while. It had been weeks since we went out on a date. Busy schedules, daily routines, and pandemic concerns all made it challenging. And frankly, I was tired.
Before the feminists get all up in arms about submission I just want to say submission is a quality that even you feminists do. You submit to each other and you submit to your icons like gods.
This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it. There is a massive difference between giving your man oral sex and sucking his dick.
We live in a time in which the meaning of words is shifting. A particular word that meant one thing fifty years ago may now additionally mean something entirely different (e.g. gay, cloud, tablet, viral, to name a few). A word’s meaning can also be broadened or narrowed.
This post was an honest, raw vent. It was also one-sided and definitely not the fairest treatment of my husband and my marriage. In this post, I used a lot of hyperbole, the extremest of extreme examples, and an immature writing style.
I work with lots of couples looking to improve their marital intimacy. While the actual concern may differ from one person to the next (desire level differences, pain with sex, affair recovery…) there is one big important component to working on your sex life.
When is the last time you heard some information about sex that gave you insight into your spouse’s desires in the bedroom? For most couples, this information comes from anywhere but their own marriages.
Many Christians are uncomfortable talking about sex because they are taught that having sex is wrong and discussing sex is unacceptable. Our only understanding of sex comes when we have entered the covenant of marriage.
Last week writer Matthew Paul Turner dedicated a week on his blog, “Jesus Needs New PR” to talking about sex. He calls it “Sex Needs New PR.” Jennifer Schuchmann, my co-writer on Six Prayers God Always Answers, and Nine Ways God Always Speaks added a post on prayer and sex.
When you're married with kids and you have a thriving career, the first thing that slips away in your daily life is "you time." The second thing? "You and him" time. The good news: it doesn't take much to get the latter back on track.
Wives commanded to submit to un-Christ-like husbands: A. The wife must submit to her abusive husband "in the same way" that a slave submits to an abusive master: 1 Peter 2:18 + 3:1 B.
(1)Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, (2) when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Marriage: Intimates or Inmates? Related Media In this article, we will explore the essential issues related to the husband-wife relationship with practical applications of biblical principles. Kenneth Boa Website: http://www.kenboa.org Commentary: http://www.kenboa.org/blog Follow: http://twitter.
Do you really know your wife? Did you know that God commands you to know your wife? What does it mean as a Christian husband to know your wife? These are some questions I will try to answer in this next post in this series “How to be a godly husband”.
The Bible tells us as Christian men to honor our wives. But how do we honor her? In what ways and for what reasons do we honor her? In this next post in my series “How to be a godly husband”, we will explore what the Bible means when it tells us to honor our wives.
As Christians who embrace God’s Word as the guide for our lives, we know that the Bible condones sex ONLY within the bounds of marriage.
Is it wrong to crave and desire a piece of apple pie for the pleasure it brings our taste buds? The Bible tells us to “abstain from fleshly lusts” in I Peter 2:11. In Colossians 3:2 we are told “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
“Dear BGR, my husband sometimes goes to sleep on the couch in his man-cave-office when he is angry at me for something I have done toward him. Even the next day he will speak very little if any to me basically giving me the silent treatment.
Is oral sex in Christian marriage a sin? If it is not a sin is it optional or is it a requirement for Christian husbands and wives in marriage? “Denial of sex by a wife is the ultimate form of disrespect and control of her husband.
Many Christians believe the only way a woman can be unfaithful to her husband is by having sex with men other than her husband. Today we call this adultery. But in the Bible adultery was a two-sided coin.
Why it ok to condemn male sexuality and call men “pigs”, “dogs”, “shallow” and “base” for their physically oriented sexual nature? Why is the feminine relationally oriented sexual nature upheld as “divine” and the standard to which men should mold themselves?
Contrary to popular teachings about unity in marriage, the Bible teaches that unity in marriage is primarily dependent on the actions, reactions and attitudes of a wife toward her husband and only secondarily on the behavior of the husband.
Any successful Christian marriage is going to require “reboots” from time to time. Troubled marriages are often the marriages that suffer from a lack of regular reboots or if they do reboots they do them in an unhealthy manner.
For a woman, the difference between “slutty” and “sexy” is one word – Marriage. Proverbs 5:19 tells husbands to be ravished with their wife’s love. For a man to be ravished he must be seduced. I know a lot of Christian women may be not like the use of the word “seduce”.
For centuries, many Church leaders and scholars have seen sex as dirty and a necessary evil. When it was encouraged it was encouraged only for its procreative value and not for the purposes of pleasure.
To all you engaged women, newlywed wives or women that have been married for many years. If you will just follow some simple principles, and accept some simple truths about men, I promise that in 99% of cases the passion in your marriage will never die.
“I’ve witnessed such an unexpected difference in my husband & I would like to know if you think it’s related to my new attitude regarding sexual obedience. The short story is: my husband has become so ambitious at work (and in life generally). He’s gotten a promotion.
“Should I fake having sexual pleasure with my husband?” This is a question a lot of Christian wives ask. Some may frame the question in a way that seems to force an answer.
Is oral sex in Christian marriage a sin? If it is not a sin is it optional or is it a requirement for Christian husbands and wives in marriage? The teaching of the Catholic Church is that all sex must be “procreative” or “open to life” or the orgasm must be “genital to genital”.
Most Christian wives today are taught that their husbands must earn sex with them by romancing them. What if the Bible taught the opposite? What if wives were required to seduce their husbands? I know it sounds crazy.
Ladies, if sex is an afterthought for you and not at the top of your priority list, for him it probably is. Just like you need him to communicate and be engaged and connected to you, he needs you to make love with him. Connection— this is one of the reasons why men like sex.
By Dr. Justin Lehmiller Intimate touch is a vital part of most close relationships.
I figure there’s no sense denying that physical attraction plays a role in our relationships, especially at first. Whether that’s right or wrong, there’s no real avoiding it.
As a sex advice columnist, I can tell you that women are all over the board when it comes to giving head to a guy. Some love giving blow jobs, some are ambivalent and some have actually said to me: I wouldn’t go down on him if I was suffocating and there were oxygen in his balls!
Maintenance sex may not sound like the most titillating thing in the world, but it is crucial to the health of your relationship. When we say maintenance sex, we mean having sex just to have it, even if you don’t feel like doing it.
Theres an old phrase that couples often use when something one partner says spawns an argument its not what you said, its how you said it. Though some may just see the phrase as an excuse, there may be some truth to it as far as marital success is concerned.
So how do we determine if we’re too busy or we need a course in time management? The following ten questions should help you and your spouse come to a conclusion. According to authors Les and Leslie Parrott and Dr.
This passage is an excerpt from my forthcoming report, How to Have Really Great Sex When You’re NOT in the Mood. You can get a downloadable version of it in the link at the end. Please comment below. (And be nice – this is very personal!!) It was one of my least favorite places to visit.
If you've been with your partner for many moons, there's a not-so-low chance that spicing things up in the bedroom is something you're ready to do. But if you feel as though you've done all the new things in bed that you can, a little refresher course might be in order.
When it comes to enhancing your experience in the bedroom, there's no shortage of suggestions on the things that will take your sexy time to a whole new level.
I always thought I had an extremely high sex drive until I met my husband, who I’m pretty sure could do it a dozen times a day and never get sick of it. This isn’t to suggest I’m some sort of champ in the sack, but it does suggest, or rather confirm, that he genuinely loves sex. A lot.
The Bible is a book about God, about us, and about how God saves us through the person and work of Jesus Christ; therefore, it isn’t terribly surprising to discover that the Bible has a great deal to say about sex.
• Remind yourself that God created your sexuality and that it’s good. Many woman learned as children and teenagers that their sexuality was bad and should be quashed. But that’s a lie. Your sexuality is good, so spend some time affirming it and embracing it.
I try to keep my stress level under control, and you probably do too. I’m always looking for ways to reduce stress and to limit the number of things that add stress to my life. But keeping stress tamped down is hard, and sometimes it’s just about impossible.
Do you ever feel like your sex life isn’t really about you? That it’s primarily about your husband and his wants and needs, not yours? Do you even wonder if you have any wants and needs when it comes to sex? If so, you’re in good company. Many, if not most, married women know that feeling.
I usually talk to wives and encourage them to make changes that will help them feel confident, feel sexy, enjoy intimacy and prioritize their marriages. Today, though, I’m talking to husbands and encouraging them to make changes and take steps that will help their wives in these areas.
So, you might be thinking, “My husband needs a girlfriend? Girl, you’ve lost your mind!” But I promise you, I haven’t lost my mind (at least not completely…). I’m not suggesting that your husband needs a girlfriend on the side.
When it comes to sex and intimacy, do you sometimes feel like these people – leaning into the wind, making an effort to move forward, but having a hard time getting where you want to go?
As I read these private accountings, I noticed something: the "sweet-and-innocent" and "Eww!" stories were at opposite ends of the bell curve. The majority of respondents were in the middle, where the motivators for oral sex vary greatly. The act of oral sex is filled with issues.
Looking for free christian games to play with your sweetheart? No problem! Romantic games for couples are a great way to spice things up a bit. That’s right, we all need a little spice here and there. In fact, sometimes as Christians, we need a little more spice then others.
QUESTION: “My wife and I love the Lord with all our hearts, and we don't want to do anything to sin against Him. Our question is in the area of oral sex. Is it scripturally wrong for married couples?” No where does the Bible forbid it or discuss it.
Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by starry_night, Apr 24, 2010.
Our collection of 285 wholesome sex positions, sex routines, and sex tips give inspiration for more pleasurable, adventurous lovemaking both of you will enjoy for many years to come.
The familiar sexual pattern of always using the same sex positions or sexual techniques you’ve perfected to get both of you “there” can feel comforting and loving. If you’re lucky enough to have figured out a sexual pattern that works, that’s great, but sometimes it can get stale.
The familiar sexual pattern of always using the same sex positions or sexual techniques you’ve perfected to get both of you “there” can feel comforting and loving. If you’re lucky enough to have figured out a sexual pattern that works, that’s great, but sometimes it can get stale.
There has been some media discussion about this answer. Unfortunately the original answer has been selectively quoted and used out of context. The suggestion was made that the person answering the question, both a husband and wife, might be supporting rape in marriage. Let us be clear. Rape is rape.
The day had come. I'd lasted as long as I could in my marriage. Once my husband, Bill, left for work, I packed a bag for myself and our 14-month-old son and left our home. It was the only year in our married life when we lived in the same town as my parents.
There are three things your husband feels about sex that you might not know or believe. Having blogged for four years on Christian sex in marriage, I’ve logged over 6,800 comments. Although my main audience is wives, many men provide feedback.
Christian Nymphos! Check it out!
There are times when I feel like a turtle…I creep back into my shell and don’t really want to face something new. It’s scary…it’s intimidating….it’s….naughty? My hubby and I had a great date night one evening awhile back.
So what exactly is that white stuff that comes shooting out of my husband’s penis? Have you ever wondered that? Seminal fluid consists mainly of water, minerals, sugars, proteins, sperm, and other various nutrients. You are ingesting most of those things daily anyway. Well, except for the sperm.
Has your husband ever asked you to touch yourself in front of him? Maybe he has, but you just weren’t comfortable with it. Maybe he’s hinted at it, but you don’t think you could. I’m hoping that by the end of this article, you’ll be reconsidering this. Most men are visual.
Okay, so you have the basics down and you are ready to do a bit more in front of your darling husband. I have some tips and suggestions that will help you to knock his socks off! First of all get creative and take advantage of transition times during sex.
Did you grow up in a family or church that taught that oral sex was a sin? That it is dirty? That good girls don’t do that? Many people in the church did.
My question is this, is there a way to help my wife enjoy performing oral sex? When we first got married 30+ yrs. ago, for the 1st. year there was mutual oral sex between us and she seemed to truly enjoy that, as did I.
We recently got an email from a couple that was discussing oral sex. The husband wanted the wife to allow him to finish in her mouth.
“I am afraid for her to perform oral sex on me. In my mind I feel like I am a perverted middle age man trying to live out some teenage fantasy. I don’t like it. I love to give her oral pleasure, that is first and foremost. I wonder if I am now lusting my wife and not loving her.
I very much LOVE to give oral sex to my husband. It’s often the center of my fantasies during the day, and when he gets home I tell him I can’t wait to put the kids to bed and taste him! It’s a big turn on to myself as well and will definitely put me in the mood for other things.
Okay, show of hands…. How many of you have ever tasted yourself on purpose? Come on, it’s just me here, you can tell the truth! 😉 Of course there is a natural curiosity, and there is no shame in that. I do have a couple of friends though; who think this topic is gross and nasty.
So, you are giving oral sex to your husband and you are almost at the finish line. He is giving you the signs that he is almost at climax. What do you do? There are several options here to choose from, and we’re going to talk about each one.
I have heard people use the above scripture to say that the semen going any place other than the vagina is a sin. These people are wrong. The sin was not that Onan spilled his seed on the ground. Onan sinned because he intentionally did not impregnate his dead brother’s wife.
This is an edited version of the original article. When I wrote a blog post called "8 Reasons My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me" I got a lot of great feedback from it and it was viewed over 300,000 times on the first day alone.
Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Seattle, Wash., has hit back at critics who claim his new book penned with his wife, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together, goes too far, or doesn't go far enough, in its discussion of marriage and sex.
Christian leader Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Seattle, Wash., continues to not shy away from hot-button topics by recently naming the six ways in which the Bible shows that sex is a gift from God. Driscoll, who along with his wife, Grace, have been on tour across the U.S.
Megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll continues to push the envelope while preaching about the subject of sex during his current sermon series, which has the same theme as his book, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together.
4. WHEN ARE PEOPLE MARRIED IN GOD’S SIGHT? (3:6-11) Marriages today are in trouble! Fifty percent end in divorce. The statistic is even higher for second marriages. Of the ones who don’t get divorced, few have what they would call mature, gratifying, satisfying, close personal relationships.
Question: “I’ve read a lot about women having multiple orgasms at a time. Is that a real thing? How can I achieve multiple orgasms at one time?” Multiorgasmic means capable of having more than one orgasm in a single sexual session.
Our brain has a sexual excitement system that uses our senses to scan around for sexually relevant stimuli. This system is always working under our conscious level. I want to encourage the idea of consciously activating this system, by using the senses with intentionality.
DO YOU FIGHT ABOUT SEX IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? YOU’RE NOT ALONE. One of most common arguments among couples is how often they’re having sex. Frequently, it comes down to one partner wanting sex more than the other. This can lead to trouble in the bedroom -- and relationship.
For females, this process often takes more than 5 minutes (like you see in the movies). Why? The clitoral network has a whole lot of erectile tissue.
Has that spark in your marriage dimmed and you’re not sure how to bring it back? The first time I took Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages test, I got a zero for physical touch.
Want to have a more affectionate relationship with your life partner? Carve out time to have more sex. That’s the takeaway of a series of four studies of committed couples in both the United States and Switzerland.
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After years of being a wife, I would say that I’ve learned many difficult lessons the hard and a painful way. If you want to have a successful marriage, you will need to learn these lessons at some point in your journey, so let me save you some time, heartache, and money!
A recent study is making men and women happy with its tentative results. The State University of New York recently conducted a survey with 293 women participating. The survey simply compared the women’s sex lives with their mental health.
It’s intoxicating to witness embodied ecstasy. And perhaps this is a large part of the appeal of pornography and erotic images. There’s something transcendent in seeing our sexuality displayed unapologetically.
Where exactly should you touch a man in bed? While you could argue that any zone on a dude’s body could be an erogenous zone if treated appropriately, there is evidence that some specific areas are more worth paying attention to than others when it comes to pleasure.
Are You Bogged Down in a Covert Narcissist Marriage? Revised 5/2/21 The Covert Narcissist Marriage is not like other narcissistic marital dynamics. Clinicians don’t tend to see the flamboyant attention-seeking, charisma, or the natural and easy charm of the typical narcissist.
Another day, another dust-up about sex. This one is a little unusual, however, in that the controversy involves sex between married people. Here’s what happened. A woman, two years married, went on a business trip.
When you have a wedding to plan, all the extra worries are easy to push out of your mind. The flowers become a dire responsibility all of a sudden, and the fact that Grandma Ruth might not want to sit next to Aunt Helen seems pressing. At least, more pressing than the experience of being married.
A friend of mine asked me to edit a letter he was writing to his teenage daughters about what qualities to look for in a good man. After I poured my heart back into my chest (it had melted all over the floor), I put on my editor hat to engage in what this father sees as important in a husband.
I have mentioned before that just as a woman desires to feel loved, men equally desire to feel respected. Respect, in all forms, speaks volumes to men and often results in them feeling worthy of their wife’s affections.
When we first get married, we’re all about treating our spouse special. But time, familiarity, competing priorities, and just plain selfishness can cause us to ease off of those kind gestures and settle into a status quo. Don’t let it happen in your marriage.
How often have you tried to get important messages to your husband, only to find that he’s just not listening to you? Many wives experience frustration when trying to communicate with their spouses. But it is possible to get through – if you change the way you communicate.
What is fascinating about the story of Michal is that we are certain that she was in love with David because the Bible tell us. Just to be clear, Saul wasn’t pleased because he loved David and thought he would be a great son-in-law.
Remember the day you got married? I’m sure that day will always be etched in your memory.
5. Your marriage lacks intimacy. A lack of intimacy can be a sign of a bigger problem, but sometimes it's as simple as wrongly assuming your spouse feels intimate in the same way you do. Ask your spouse what activities make them feel intimate if you've never done so.
Even the greatest athlete benefits from coaching. Though I realize that husbands reading this likely are already awesome, I offer these tips as a marriage coach. Husbands, use these to go from great to glorious in seven easy steps.
1. Make Christ your highest priority. Every relationship in our lives mirrors our relationship with Christ. If we want our relationships to be healthy, we must have a healthy relationship with God. The earth is not the friend of marriage - but God is.
The word lavish describes a love that is rich and abundant. It isn’t a word we use often—especially in marriage—but it paints a picture of extravagant love. As you read this, I can only imagine the thoughts that are going through your head.
Have you ever tried changing your husband? Whether it’s in a big way or in what you consider a simple small thing that you feel he should so easily change. I think most of us have tried to change our husband in some form or fashion.
Several months ago, Gary Thomas released a new book entitled Married Sex. At the time the book was released, a firestorm erupted from another author. Admittedly, she was upset because Thomas did not ask her to review the book.
"He's a good dad to our kids, but was always criticizing me," Terry complained. "I couldn't do anything right, in his mind at least. Thirteen years was enough. I figured it would only get worse, so I left." Like most marriages that end in divorce, Terry's marriage began happily enough.
As women, we long to be pursued. We were made that way. It’s natural for us, then, as wives to want our husbands to continue to pursue us – long after our honeymoon. So why doesn’t he come after you the way he used to?
This is the third post in a series in which Chris Taylor, of Forgiven Wife, and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 and part 8.
(In this post, I use some abbreviations that I have created. They are listed in the sidebar, to the right.) A comment that Sheila Wray Gregoire made in her post Why Is Marriage Advice So Contradictory? brought an old-fashioned word to my mind, a word little-used today: Parlor.
Earlier this month, Sheila Wray Gregoire wrote an excellent article directed toward wives whose husbands are gatekeepers/refusers. Guess what? The eight steps that Gregoire gives to these refused wives who write to her is basically the same thing I’ve been writing for you refused husbands.
This is the fifth in a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 6, part 7 and part 8.
This is the first of a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 and part 8.
This is the second of a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 3, part 4,, part 5, part 6, part 7 and part 8).
This is the fourth in a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3 part 5, part 6, part 7 and part 8.
This is the sixth in a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 7 and part 8.
This is the seventh in a series of posts in which Chris Taylor (of Forgiven Wife) and I dialogue about ideas and issues brought up in her post, A Wife’s Heart. (Here are the links to part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, and part 8.
My wife, Ashley, and I have interacted with married couples from all over the world. Many of these couples are healthy and thriving, but many others remain stuck in a perpetual state of dysfunction.
Effective communication in marriage can mean the difference between a long-lasting happy union with minimal stress and one that is tumultuous, toxic, and destined to end (opens in a new tab). Luckily for you, mastering communication exercises is something that anyone can do with enough practice.
Several months ago, Gary Thomas released a new book entitled Married Sex. At the time the book was released, a firestorm erupted from another author. Admittedly, she was upset because Thomas did not ask her to review the book.
In my sermon this morning at Kenwood Baptist Church, I made the case that the Apostle Paul was not always single but was once married. This observation emerges from Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. You can download the full sermon here or listen below.
It’s episode number 400. Such a milestone should be marked with an epic episode. You ask the questions, I offer them to Pastor John, and he answers them. That’s how it works on the Ask Pastor John podcast. We get a lot of questions about relationships, dating, marriage, and, of course, sex.
A podcast listener named Hannah writes in to ask this: “Pastor John, I often hear people and pastors say that sex between husband and wife is a picture of the love between Christ and his church.
With all the destructive marriages out there, is it any wonder many young people are having second thoughts about getting married at all? Is “happily ever after” ever possible? Is “happily married” just a cruel joke? What can–or can’t–you expect in a “good” marriage?
It’s no surprise that marriage is under assault. Younger marriages end when one or both feel unhappy or unfulfilled. Longer-term marriages dissolve once the kids are out of the house and there’s no “good” reason to stay together.
Talk to your spouse about sex? Hmmm. Perhaps your response is: Sex can become one of the most contentious and painful aspects of a marriage. Or it can be one of the most affirming and bonding parts of your relationship.
God gave marriage to humankind as a good gift. But just like food, rest, pleasure, money, authority, or any other good thing, we get into serious trouble when we idolize the gift. Whether married or single, we will get wounded and disappointed if we make marriage an idol.
Your spouse should do more to meet your needs.
Sex and intimacy (they are related, but not the same!) is a top area of conflict in many marriages. Trying to demand sex from your spouse, or giving up and withdrawing yourself, are not good options.
One more night of wishing. One more night of being brushed aside and feeling rejected. One more night of frustration, and wondering if things will ever get any better. One more night of trying to suppress your physical drives. One more night of anger at being misunderstood.
Just because sex happens within marriage doesn’t always mean it’s good. God designed sex to be a beautiful life-giving nurturing experience between husband and wife.
You can struggle greatly when your wife does not or cannot respond to you sexually. It’s a little ironic: here I am a woman, talking to men about sex. That’s because I’ve been asked about this specific question more than once, and this post is my answer.
(This is a post specifically written for husbands. For wives, we’ll have a post just for you next week. That sad and somewhat crude comment came from a respected spiritual leader, and I knew right then that his marriage was in trouble.
Husbands and wives both deal with this. “I’m not getting enough L.U.S.T. – love, understanding, sex, and trust.” “Trying to talk to him [or her] is like trying to talk to a brick wall.” The sex is bad or nonexistent. The communication is broken.
You thought you wanted intimacy when you got married. But did you realize what kind of work it would take? Perhaps you imagined intimacy would just happen and the prickly reality of two human beings struggling with their oneness has left you disillusioned.
What’s a normal frequency of sex in marriage? That’s usually asked by the spouse with a higher libido looking for ways to get their partner to say Yes more often. I’m not sure there’s any couple anywhere who both desire sex with the same frequency.
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. When you said “I do” you expected intimacy, including sexual intimacy, to be a big part of your marriage. However intimacy is sorely lacking, and you may think that having sex again would fix things.
You may have thought you entered marriage with a clean slate. You and your beloved were going to live happily ever after–for the first time in history. Your marriage began with certain assumptions and expectations about your role and your spouse’s role.
Emotional safety is not just a feel-good emotion, like whipped cream on a sundae. It arises from the activation of this social-engagement nerve, which allows you to engage with others or enjoy the present moment.
There’s no shortage of books, blogs, and podcasts that tell you all about the joys and pleasures of sex in the Christian marriage.
When is the last time you heard some information about sex that gave you insight into your spouse’s desires in the bedroom? For most couples, this information comes from anywhere but their own marriages.
Many men say, “Well, how was I supposed to know that I would end up with a wife who doesn’t want to have sex with me? At the beginning, she was really into sex.” And women also wonder how they ended up in sexless marriages.
So many couples feel disconnected, even if their relationship looks “fine” from the outside. That is why I wrote my 52 emails book, which guides you through a more detailed version of many of these questions. But for a random date night, just pick a few. Order Dr.
My first post in this series tackled Mr. Perfect and his crazy wife. Here we turn to The Ice Queen and the Martyr, another commonly seen couple (I think this couple fits the bill). Here are some examples of what you hear from The Martyr in session:
Published in a slightly different form on PsychCentral! Let’s focus for this one post on guy #1, whom we shall call Mr. Perfect. This high achieving specimen of masculinity is usually in some field requiring an excess of education or on-the-job training.
Many men are so focused on their low libido partners that they fail to recognize that their own libidos will decline over time as well.
Some people come into therapy upset that their partner doesn’t seem “present” or “romantic” or “emotionally expressive” enough.
I’m always entreating you guys to express yourselves directly to your spouses about everything from housework to childcare to therapy to sex. I’ve even humorously told you what not to do when expressing yourself.
I know, I know, you are sick of hearing about empathy and validation and better communication and working to rekindle your sex life, and you are thinking I NEED RESULTS NOW, not this slow moving stuff. Fine, I say, amiable as ever, while secretly being offended.
Well, ATFS, thanks so much. I am glad that you found my article helpful. It is no small feat to re-invigorate your sex life singlehandedly (no masturbation jokes, yet).
My husband and I love your blog-it’s truly been a breath of fresh air! My question is: how many times should a couple try to have sex (e.g.
Many men struggle with the fact that their wives shut them down when they start to talk about sex. Their wives have heard their complaints before, and they want to be left alone and not pushed.
There are many women who feel uncomfortable with their husbands masturbating, particularly if their husband uses porn. I totally understand this, and have discussed how masturbation is harmful in many ways for people who aren’t extraordinarily happy with their sex lives already.
On a weekday at 3pm I put out a Facebook call for anonymous married men to answer 20 random questions on my blog. Apparently that’s a common time for guys to slack off at work because I was inundated with responses. Here are the first three guys who agreed to be interviewed.
The longer I work with couples, the more I am convinced that the large majority of people never reach anything close to their full potential for sexual pleasure.
While everyone has their own preferred love language and all are equally important in that sense, there is another sense in which physical touch is the most important.
In your article What Women Think About Sex vs. Reality, you state “very, very infrequently does a husband come in and say (even when his wife is not in the room) that he no longer finds her physically attractive….
Many of my clients discuss a feeling of loneliness within their marriages. Often their spouses look at them with confusion or contempt, asking how it’s possible to feel alone when they are in fact, in the same house or even room with them a great deal of the time.
Two guys share their innermost thoughts about this deeply wounding issue. Don’t judge them, just offer them support. They are brave to write this openly, even anonymously. If you’re in a relationship where this is an issue, email this post to your spouse and ask their thoughts.
I’ve been married for five years, and gradually, my wife stopped performing oral sex on me. I feel like this was a bait and switch because she used to love doing this. I’ve asked her to do it, and she says she’s not in the mood, or some other excuse. What should I do?
My husband and I have been married almost 20 years, and have two kids who will be heading off to college within the next 5 years. my husband is a great guy, fabulous lover, wonderful father, hardworking, cooks, cleans, the whole package. The problem? I think we’re heading for divorce.
After pointing out how your husband or wife is very different now compared to how they acted when you first starting dating, I will now give you six little ways to help you start to like your spouse more. Don’t doubt the Blogapist. You are about to get schooled. 1.
I have discussed the idea of the man who acts like a “workhorse,” and many men have reached out to tell me that they deeply identify with this construct. Today, I discuss how the workhorse operates in bed, and how sex often ends up feeling like “work” just like everything else.
Many people are willing to spend a lot of time and money on their marriage, via date nights, couples counseling, and couples vacations. Yet there is one thing that is free that I deeply believe could transform the majority of unhappy marriages, which is daily (or near daily) physical intimacy.
Here it is on PsychCentral! Reader Monotogamous (do you see how I’m trying to coin that phrase? Monotonous monogamy? Come on, that’s pretty good) writes:
In my follow up post to What Men Think About Sex Versus Reality, I will now tackle what women think is normal sexually, which includes some pretty incorrect assumptions. Thankfully you have your friendly neighborhood blogger slash psychologist to dispel these myths right now.
The majority of men have a love language of physical touch, which includes (but is not limited to) sex. They feel frustrated, sad, and lonely in their marriages when their wives do not give them this love language, for a surfeit of reasons I cover ceaselessly in this blog like here, here, and here.
Recently, I read the great book Three Women by Lisa Taddeo, in which she follows the sex lives of three women. The book reads as fiction but it is actually non-fiction, which makes it very unique and interesting.
There are five love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and acts of service. (You can read the whole love languages book if you want to know more.) All of these are equivalent, meaning that there is no “better” or “more real” way to express love.
I see a lot of couples in my practice who struggle with insecurity in their primary relationship. This occurs across genders and for a range of reasons. In this post, I will focus on women who are insecure about their husband’s interest in them.
It sounds strange to think of your partner as your parent, but this is exactly what happens emotionally in a loving relationship.
Your suggestion seems to be that the husband should wait for his wife to initiate, and meanwhile take care of all his needs himself (i.e. masturbate). Do I have that right? That does nothing for intimacy and connection.
I have a question which arose while chatting to a friend going through a separation. One of the issues which has come up in our conversations is that he claims his wife hates romance and has “killed it for him.” He also says she hates being complimented.
A reader recently wrote in asking me if I could write on why he, and many men like him, don’t enjoy couples counseling. When he attended couples counseling, he felt like the therapist and his wife were on one side, and he was on the other.
Many women misunderstand why their husbands want oral sex. Not just oral sex, but really any act that focuses primarily on male pleasure, like massage, manual or other non-intercourse stimulation, dirty talk, lingerie wearing, etc.
There was quite a maelstrom over my recent articles What Men Think About Sex… And the Reality and What Women Think About Sex Vs The Reality.
Research indicates that some specific nutrients—from common vitamins to lesser-known plant extracts—have demonstrated positive effects on very specific aspects of penile performance.
When asked, most everyone will state that they want a great life – a great marriage – a great job. This is natural.
What’s the first word that comes to mind when you hear the word “eager?” Personally I think beaver, but I don’t think this is what Solomon (or Lemuel or his mother) had in mind when they said, “she works with eager hands” (Proverbs 31:13).
I’ve been doing some research recently to start developing much of MMSL into a couples retreat. There’s a backstory here, and it may all collapse into a heap so I’d rather not say what I’m up to just yet.
One of the most important things in being in a long term relationship is creating a sense of relationship comfort. You create Relationship Comfort by being pleasant, helpful, kind, concerned, affectionate, caring and supportive. These are all Beta Trait behaviors.
When my life overwhelms me – which, as an introverted entrepreneur and mother, is often – I try to escape to the one place that I know no one will speak to me, The Korean Day Spa.
Yesterday, we looked at some of the Twitter “teachings” of The Transformed Wife, a reactionary pro-am housewife with strong feelings about Jesus, fornication, and witchcraft. (Not all at the same time.)
A. Submission in the home. 1. (1-2) The heart of a godly wife. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. a.
Modern relationships are cauldrons of contradictory longings: safety and excitement, grounding and transcendence, the comfort of love and the heat of passion. We want it all and, in long-term monogamous relationships, we want it with one person.
Learn how showing affection can keep the romance alive. These tips for showing affection will keep the home fires burning.The hottest relationship advice from LifeScript.com.
It’s natural to think that your body belongs to you. After all, you’re the one living in it, right? But natural and biblical thinking often conflict. According to the Bible, your body (if you’re a married Christian) has two other owners.
For a girl that had not even been asked out on a date, this was a whole new world. I had a suspicion that their experience was more realistic than the articles I sneaky read in Cosmo while getting my hair done at the salon.
In this series: 1. Understanding your husband's sexual needs 2. Understanding his sexuality 3. Sex is a physical need 4. Sex is an emotional need 5. Sex is a spiritual need 6. Sex is a relational need 7. So, what's the holdup? 8. Your husband's sex drive is God's gift to you
Good communication between a husband and wife requires certain rules and guidelines, which are simple in one sense and extremely difficult in another. What is a nonsubject? It’s a subject, for whatever reason, that is understood to be off limits and not to be brought up under any circumstance.
In the 1960s, The Supremes recorded their hit song “Stop! In the Name of Love!” I remember singing the words as a teenager: “Before you break my heart … think it o-o-ver …”
Brian: From the FamilyLife Podcast Network this is Married With Benefits. I’m Brian Goins on a relentless pursuit to help you love the one you’re with and discover all the benefits that came with saying, “I do.”
Brian: From the Podcast Network here at FamilyLife® this is Married With Benefits. I’m Brian Goins and we’re on a relentless pursuit to help you love the one you’re with and discover all the benefits that came with saying, “I do.”
Not long ago, the marriage of some close friends—I’ll call them Daniel and Jessica—suddenly imploded. We did everything we could to stand with them in their crisis to speak hope for their future together. Unfortunately, their marriage didn’t survive.
Bob: If you love your spouse, you’ve got to be aware of the fears—Gary Thomas calls them “spiders”—that are a part of your spouse’s life. You’ve got to be a part of the perfect love that helps to cast out those fears. Gary: Your spouse has a real past with real hurts and real fears.
When you and your spouse married, I’m sure you expected to have a healthy and active sexual relationship together. That’s great—that’s what God intended.
I once received an email about the romantic differences between men and women.
Let me make something clear up front. You might be tempted to think that there would never be a time when you, as a man, would turn down the sexual advances of your wife. Or, if for some reason you did, your rejection would be as rare as the appearance of an albino zebra. I understand that feeling.
My maternal grandmother had 12 children. My paternal grandmother only had six (which I say tongue-in-cheek). They were both farm girls back in the early 1900s. I’m sure birth control never crossed their minds.
Some words of wisdom from experienced sex therapists. The truth about sex is that, while there are certainly those legendary couples who have sex five times a week every week, most married couples in long-term relationships experience sexless marriages.
Watch your tone, mister. Seriously. Here’s an eternal truth about human interaction: Inevitably there will be a misunderstanding or an argument. We can try to avoid it, but it’s futile. “There’s no way to not communicate in a conversation.
Prayer is beautiful, wonderful, and sacrificial. It’s a privilege and a blessing. Before I met Ryan, I was praying for him. And now that we’ve been married for 11 years, I’m praying for him now more than ever.
No idea has impacted our marriage quite like the concept of biblical stewardship. When you hear that word you may have preconceptions about what it means, like how it probably has to do with your finances. That’s part of it, but stewardship is so much more!
Sex is so much more than physical and its purposes extend far beyond our immediate pleasure. How exactly has God designed sex for his eternal purposes? How can we enjoy intimacy more deeply knowing that we’re profoundly reflecting certain aspects of God’s grace and goodness in the gospel?
Every couple wants greater intimacy. There’s nothing like feeling truly connected to one another – like you’re walking in sync, your hearts are beating to the same rhythm, and you don’t know where you end and your spouse begins. It’s truly, truly remarkable.
I sometimes doubt our ability to help marriages. Even as I write this, Selena and I are having communication difficulties. This morning we had a minor, stress-induced argument about trivial things (taking out the garbage, walking the dogs, and cleaning the bedroom).
Men don’t often receive credit for their complexity. One of my biggest annoyances is how husbands are often portrayed in commercials and TV shows: emotionally unaware, irresponsible, wide-eyed, and well… a little dumb.
In my previous post, we covered the first two ways you can prove your love to your spouse: transparency/honesty, and loving them when they’re unloveable.* If you haven’t yet, I recommend quickly clicking back to give it a glance (it’s reasonably short), as it sets the stage for the series.
In response to many inquiries we’ve received, here are a few creative ways I’ve discovered to intentionally and authentically love my husband.
The secret is out, there is no pill or potion that will make your marriage instantly better. Although, I suppose if there was such a remedy it would sell like organic mustache wax at a hipster convention.
A little while ago I wrote about the first thing we’d discuss with you if we could have coffee together. Feel free to read that post if you haven’t, but basically we’d talk about your beliefs.
I heard a story of a man and his wife who were having difficulty communicating. She felt undervalued and he felt nagged. She felt that his love for her was fading, and he felt like she was getting overly needy. Flustered, she explained, “I’m not sure you even love me any more!”.
Sex. A word that used to be taboo is now so commonplace you probably won’t go a day without hearing it at least a few times. Everything seems to have something to do with sex. It’s funny really, that such a relatively small portion of anyone’s life is given such a heavy emphasis.
Prayer is one of the most tangible and powerful ways you can love your spouse. For Christians, the importance of prayer is readily acknowledged but often forgotten. This tendency to forget is probably because we haven’t had a deep revelation of what prayer is and why we do it.
Affairs take two common forms: emotional and sexual. In either case, by the time an actual affair materializes, there have been latent and unaddressed problems for a long time. Today, at the request of you, our readers, we’ve included BOTH the podcast episode AND an article below.
Getting away with your spouse is a vital part of keeping things renewed and fresh. There’s just something special that happens when you leave your normal routines in favor of deepening your friendship with each other.
This past weekend I had the privilege of taking my Young Life small group of girls (known as Campaigners) to a camp designed especially for Campaigners. It was quite the squeeze into my busy photography schedule, but I felt like it was something God wanted me to do.
Fighting naked—both literally and figuratively—has been pivotal in helping us fight well. Yes, you can “fight well” in your marriage. Conflict, disagreements, frustrations, tension—none of this is new to marriage. That’s what today’s episode (and blog post!) is all about.
Men, it’s time we live with character, courage, and conviction that are unshakeable. It’s time to live without secrets, in complete transparency. The most taboo area of secrecy for husbands is sexual addiction – i.e. pornography addiction.
Love is many things, but easy isn’t one of them. But that’s how pop-culture models love, isn’t it? Whether it’s obvious or subtle, we’re shown how love should be easy: love is a feeling you follow and when the feeling stops, or in other words it stops being easy, it’s time to move on.
If you’ve ever felt discontent with your sex life, you’re not alone. in this episode, we answered the oft-asked question, How often should we be having sex? As you’d imagine, we looked at various passages of Scripture and contrasted the biblical view with that of the world.
Many couples wonder how to gain agreement about sex and intimacy when life is busy, schedules are hectic, and expectations for sex seem constantly misaligned. If you’re at all like Selena and me, you and your spouse probably don’t desire sex the same way or with the same frequency.
One of the first pieces of advice we received as newlyweds was to never use sex as a weapon. What we’ve come to realize, however, is that sometimes it should be… just not how you might think. Listen in as we discuss Paul’s words on the topic.
We tried this experiment, it was awesome, so you should try it too. “Selena and I kiss plenty, but we realized that we don’t often kiss for more than a few seconds. I’m not exactly sure why, but I do know it wasn’t like that when we were dating.
Regular and consistent sex is extremely important for a healthy marriage. But life gets busy, disconnection happens, and sometimes sex is burdensome. All of these things can lead to a lack of intimacy and a decrease in sexual satisfaction.
What if one of you is in the mood and the other isn’t? And what could “modes” have to do with solving your frustrations in that moment? In this episode we elaborate on our previous talks about “the spectrum of sex” by introducing 5 modes of sex. We hope it helps you!
Sex is awesome. However, not all sex is equally awesome. There are some instances in a marriage where sex is just sex and others where sex is, well… SEX. Why is each experience so different if essentially you’re doing the same thing? Let’s explore…
Sex is one of those things that has the power to deeply connect a couple, or devastate them. In the context of marriage, sex is designed by God for edification, beauty, and pleasure. And with it’s prevalence in pop-culture, healthy sex is largely ill-defined and incompletely portrayed.
I’ll just be honest, I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks; very rough. However, my hope is strong. I’m not 100% sure what this post will accomplish, but I’m compelled to share just in case you feel like me. Disclaimer: it’s mostly not a warm-fuzzy post. Also, it’s long.
I love talking about sex. No, not in a pervy way. Let me explain: I think more problems happen when sex is not discussed than when it is, especially among married couples.
My husband and I* find ourselves in the same type of argument, over and over again. Rinse and repeat. It goes a little like this: >> I bring up something that’s bothering me. (It doesn’t matter how gently or carefully I say it.) >> He immediately gets defensive.
I ended the last post in this series stating that much of the world inside and outside the church both have an inadequate understanding of the purpose of sex and because of that, a lot of confusion and harm is occurring.
Author Robert Byrne once quipped, “Anyone who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.” This humorous statement hits home with what any adult with a brain knows: Sex is very, very important to men.
You aren’t the only husband and wife clashing over the question of how often they “should” have sex. The issue usually comes up when spouses’ expectations about the frequency of intercourse don’t match — a common complaint.
“One time my husband and I were on a date at a restaurant — we like to sit on the same side of the bench — and we saw this older couple walk in, and they [also] sat on the same side.
Emily has had a high libido for as long as she can remember. Fred has what most counselors would call an “average libido.” In his late 40s, he’s up for a sexual encounter about two or three times a week, but this is probably less than half of what Emily would prefer.
My husband tells me that sex is a sacrament and a holy mystery — that it needs to be central to our relationship. But I don’t agree with the importance he gives it. After all, there’s a lot more to marriage than just sex. And sometimes sex seems like a chore.
Wayne Williams grew up a Chicago Cubs fan because that was his father’s favorite team, which also meant that for most of Wayne’s life he lived as a frustrated sports enthusiast.
For the most part, this series builds the case that sex is the greatest gift that you can give to your husband. Let’s switch gears for a moment and explore how your husband’s sex drive is a gift to you. (No, you didn’t read that wrong, and it’s not a typo!)
Since I began writing this blog, I’ve been invited into the pain of countless marriages. Both wives and husbands have shared with me their struggles related to sexual intimacy. When I respond to a husband, I try to acknowledge his real hurt.
Are you stuck in a pattern of “the usual” when it comes to your sex life? Maybe it’s time to spice things up a bit. This weekend, be the one to kick things up just a little.
I used to think that for my husband, sex was physical. All he really wanted from it was an orgasm—and all he wanted me for was sex. Because I thought his sex drive was all orgasm-focused, I didn’t understand why he made such a big deal out of it if I didn’t want to have sex.
Last week, I wrote the sage advice to “Be married to the husband you have, not to the husband you wish you had.” It really is good advice, isn’t it? The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, after all. It is easy to focus on what we don’t have rather than on what we do.
Some time ago, I saw an article about a business that specialized in non-sexual touch therapy. For $60, you could pay someone to snuggle with you for an hour.
As much as I love the comfort zone series I’m doing on Fridays, I know that some women are struggling to even have a sexual comfort zone in the first place. I felt this way myself for a long time.
Imagine that you see your husband sitting on the couch, looking raptly at his computer screen. You ask him what he is watching, and he casually says—as if it’s no big deal—that he’s watching porn. He tries to explain why it’s a good thing: “It’s good for our marriage.
When we are new at trying to change our approach to sexual intimacy in our marriages, many of us work on fundamentals that have to do with our hearts and attitude.
This is a second follow-up to my Oral Blessings post. Please read no further if you are uncomfortable reading about oral sex. It is my belief that oral sex can be a blessing in a Christian marriage bed.
As you can probably guess from the title, this post will be a bit spicier than many of my other posts. If you are just beginning your journey to restore the sexual intimacy in your marriage, you may want to pass on this one for now.
The Unbroken Woman blog is hosting The Respect Dare. Starting July 10, participants will be using Nina Roesner’s The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband as a guide, posting about their journey. And I will be doing it with you!
This post grows out of something I addressed at the end of a recent post. If your husband really wants to do a sexual activity that you dislike, do you have to do it? During a recent sexual encounter, my husband attempted to do something he hadn’t done in a long time.
Some wives have plenty of reasons for not trying to improve sexual intimacy in their marriages. Sex is less pure and godly than other non-flesh aspects of marriage. Husbands should love us for our hearts, not for our parts. Sex is just too much of an idol. We’re tired. We have other things to do.
Semen is part of sex. If you’re going to have sex with your husband, you’re going to need to get comfortable with his semen. So let’s just dig in, shall we?
From childhood, boys are fascinated by their penises. Even before they are aware of their sexuality, touching the penis feels good. The penis is interesting. It can do stuff, and sometimes it seems to have a mind of its own. Your husband’s penis is the most male part of his body.
I was sure my husband valued me only for sex. I knew I should be okay that he wanted me sexually—but for years, that was the only time he seemed to want me. I’ve been trying to unpack this belief of mine, and I’m pretty sure it hinges on how I feel valued by anyone, ever.
It took me years to figure out how to think about sex. Early in our marriage, I thought of sex as a thing I was still trying to figure out how to do, a reminder of my failure as a woman. In my mind, it was still a thing to conquer. Even once I figured that out, though, I wasn’t thinking right.
Today’s guest post comes to you from Keelie Reason at Love Hope Adventure and is part of the Sexual Healing and Wholeness Series. I was a victim of sexual harassment time and again when I was growing up.
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58 Making sexual changes is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
I am the one for whom he buys flowers. Mine is the hand he holds when we pray in church. I am his secret keeper and his biggest encourager. Mine are the arms that wrap around him when he grieves. My love is the love that matters most to him on this earth.
This blog is for wives. The posts are written to minister to wives who have decided to work on improving the sexual intimacy in their marriages. I address women who are at differing places in the journey toward change, and you will see a variety of posts.
When I posted surveys a couple months ago about women receiving oral sex, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wrote an introductory post about it. Seven hundred survey respondents later, I had a clear indication that my initial thoughts were pretty much on target.
Today is the second of three posts from Janna Allen (a pseudonym) in which she opens her life to us to share how the journey has looked in her life. I am thrilled to be able to share Janna’s story with you. Yesterday, Janna introduced us to both her journey away from refusal and to her marriage.
Today is the second of three posts from Janna Allen (a pseudonym) in which she opens her life to us to share how the journey has looked in her life. I am thrilled to be able to share Janna’s story with you. Yesterday, Janna introduced us to both her journey away from refusal and to her marriage.
We walk different paths on the way to and from sexual gate-keeping and refusing. While I’ve shared much of my own story here, my story is only one way this journey might look.
When I share the story of my journey from refusing to where I am now, it sounds nice and simple, clean and straightforward. It looks like a nice little story. Refusing wife comes to her senses and stops refusing. Everybody is happy. The end. If only it truly had been simple.
God designed us as sexual beings. We have sexual urges. We have a clitoris which serves no other purpose that providing a woman’s sexual pleasure. We get tingles when we are touched in certain ways.
Throughout most of 2009 and 2010, we were in a nearly sexless marriage. A sexless marriage is a marriage in which sex occurs ten or fewer times per year.
Big Guy and I had a lot to learn about my sexual response. Part of the problem was that neither of us understood female sexual response in general. Even before our marriage began its long season of disconnection, I thought something was wrong with me sexually.
In Love Like a Woman, I encouraged you to embrace your sexuality as God designed it for you. It is unfair to your marriage to measure your sexuality by a yardstick of your husband’s sexuality. Embracing our sexuality means that we recognize and appreciate our sexual response for what it is.
This is the second of a three-part series about how to begin to make changes in sexual intimacy in your marriage. Some of us made the decision to change in an instant. A realization or conviction can be a lightning strike paradigm shift.
This past weekend, my daughter and I went to see a performance of Wicked—you know, the musical that gives us the Wizard of Oz story with the Wicked Witch of the West as the heroine. I’ve always been a sucker for other perspectives, for the people we don’t hear much about.
I’ve written several posts now for women who aren’t comfortable receiving oral sex. These posts have explored some of the common reasons women give for their discomfort with oral sex, our self-consciousness about the smell and taste, and what our husbands have to say about all this.
Oral sex can be such a source of tension in marriage. It often becomes a measuring stick both spouses use to assess how much they are loved by the other. Her constant refusal shows him that her love for him is lacking.
Note of caution: this post is exactly what you think it’s about. If you are uncomfortable reading about male body parts, you may want to stop reading. Today, I’m going to write about one specific thing that many women will hear when they ask that question: oral sex.
Since I’ve been getting a lot of traffic on my oral sex posts, it’s clear that oral sex is something that a lot of readers want to know more about. Many wives struggle withit, both giving and receiving.
In the most recent installment of the on-going conversation I’m having with CSL at The Curmudgeonly Librarian, I made a comment about wives feeling dismissed or valued only for sex.
With a journey of change, it is the first step that is the hardest. Although some women can change, dramatically, overnight, I am more of a “one baby step at a time” and “slow progress is still progress” kind of girl.
When a wife stops sexual gate-keeping and refusing, she takes a big step on a journey toward a healed marriage. She may have her own healing to do as she works through feelings of hurt, unlearns bad habits, and learns how to walk in God’s truth for marriage.
My husband’s anguish began to take shape in front of me. So many men wrote about how unloved they felt by the one person who they thought would love them the most. As I finally allowed myself to imagine how that would feel, I felt like my gut had been punched in.
“I want you to talk sexy to me,” he said. Huh? I was just halfway through my grocery list. And in the middle of sex. Even during my refusing and gatekeeping years, we weren’t in a sexless marriage (although we came close one year).
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. ~ Plato In “An intimate gift for Hubby,” SensuousHappyHubby encourages wives to masturbate for their husbands. Many men report loving the sight of their wives being aroused and achieving orgasm.
This blog exists for the support of Christian wives who have restricted the sexual activity in their marriages and want to change that. I write to help these women seek fulfilling intimacy in their marriages–for their own sake as much as for the sake of their husbands.
My husband’s medical procedure today required that the doctor make a small incision in his groin in order to access a vein. So they shaved him—not in the middle, only on the sides. Yup, they gave my husband the big-guy version of a landing strip.
Some of my posts have been done as part of a series. If you’re looking for a list of all the posts in a series together, you’re in the right spot!
My efforts to work on sex brought me face-to-face with something I’d fought against for a long time: oral sex.
The best orgasm of my life happened a few months ago. My husband and I were in a hotel room with a lovely city view. Late morning sunlight filled the room. I had already had several strong orgasms. But then . . . wow. It was the kind of orgasm that made me smile for days.
My initial impetus for pursuing a change in how I approached sexual intimacy was selfish: my husband was depressed, and sex was the only thing I could think of that had a chance of making him easier to live with.
A wife whose husband is sexually miserable can feel bombarded all the time. I never knew when my husband was going to want to have a conversation about how it wasn’t fair that I was in control of our sex life. He would give me articles. He would send me links to marriage blogs by women.
For a wife who has avoided and resisted sex, the realization of how deeply she has hurt her husband can be crushing. I shared about my own realization in A Moment of Hard Truth. Every week, I hear from women with similar stories.
For several weeks, I’ve written about the value of stepping outside our sexual comfort zones. I’ve shared some of my stories. Now I am sharing stories from other women. They range from things from simple “just getting started” steps to activities that some women would consider “out there.
These posts reflect my experience. Although your experience is your own, these posts may give you some questions to consider as you try to understand your contributions to the sexual tension in your marriage.
Today is the tenth anniversary of the day I began to work on my struggles with sex. Ten years.
I’ve dug deep enough now to uncover the roots of my refusal and gate-keeping. I felt emotionally disconnected from my husband, I had control issues, and I dragged a lot of baggage into the marriage. Plus, sex just wasn’t fun for me as we were getting started.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11, ESV
I refused my husband for several years. The frequency was far below what he wanted, I rarely participated, and I looked at sex as just one more thing on my to-do list. And I also rejected any physical signs of affection. I didn’t want him to get the idea that I was sexually available, after all.
Do you send your husband a message with your choice of sleepwear? For years, I wore a t-shirt and underwear to bed, with an occasional variation. Although my t-shirt and underwear routine had begun during my teens, over time they became a sign of my resistance to sex.
For so many years of our marriage, I thought my husband valued me only for sex. He would tell me I was beautiful, say that he loved me, and hold me when I cried . . . and I thought it was just so he could have sex.
“Sex is for you, too,” they would say. I’d roll my eyes and wonder why they were trying to shove a Stepford wife/doormat pill down my throat.
Sometimes we hit a season when our bodies just don’t want to cooperate in the bedroom. Hormones, breastfeeding, stress, menopause, and more can interfere with our sexual desire and response. Our hearts may want to have sex, but our bodies just don’t want to go along for the ride, so to speak.
Yesterday, I wrote about a Mark Gungor Show podcast that addressed a husband’s query about what to do about a wife who won’t have sex with him. I responded to some of the points made on the show.
Dandelions are lovely little flowers, all full of sunshine and happiness—until they turn to seed. Then they become eyesores. They are considered weeds by quite a few folks, despite some medicinal and nutritional value.
My husband had told me, countless times, how he felt about the lack of sexual intimacy in our marriage. Sadly, it wasn’t until I read those words in the voices of other men that I began to believe and understand. Your husband’s pain does not invalidate yours in any way.
I really meant it. Every single time. Even when I thought my sexual refusing and gate-keeping were justified, I knew my husband was hurting. I really did care about that, and I knew that an improved sex life would help him.
And if I wasn’t saying it, I was thinking it. Big Guy did pressure me at times (especially when it came to that last item on the list). Most of the time, though, that wasn’t what he was doing.
The other day I received an email from a reader who shared that he is seeing growth in his marriage. His wife has asked the question, “What do you want?” What do you want from our marriage? What do you want in the marriage bed? What do you want from me?
When my children were small, my mother once said, “It’s when they’re most unlovable that they most need love.” This phrase was in my mind throughout my children’s childhood, adolescence, and even now as they prepare to launch their adult lives.
What does a transformed marriage look like? As you work on your marriage, it can grow in amazing ways and look quite different. These posts encourage you to think about changes in trust, intimacy, healing, and more.
After twenty years of selfish sexual gate-keeping and refusing, my husband and I were both miserable. I was finally on the right anti-depressant and could think and respond more clearly, and he was experiencing depression related to his unemployment and our financial situation.
The hardest step of each journey is the first one–but it’s hard to keep going sometimes, too. These posts will encourage you as you try to keep moving when your husband hasn’t adjusted to the new normal, as you stumble, and as sometimes you struggle just to stand still.
Did you know that walking the journey to improve the sexual intimacy in your marriage can strengthen your Christian walk too? These posts illustrate how the faith journey and journey toward full married intimacy are intertwined.
It took me a long time to understand that marriage is intimacy. The posts listed below show how this works. How do you think about marriage and intimacy? Are you ready to expand your thinking a bit?
My husband had told me, countless times, how he felt about the lack of sexual intimacy in our marriage. Sadly, it wasn’t until I read those words in the voices of other men that I began to believe and understand.
Although this blog is for women, these posts may offer you insight into your wife’s thoughts and feelings.
Welcome to The Forgiven Wife. Being a refusing or gate-keeping wife can be lonely. You may feel alone in your marriage, you might not have anyone in your life to talk to about the sexual relationship you have with your husband, and maybe you aren’t even hearing God too clearly.
It’s not uncommon for me to hear guys say, “I wish my wife would be more adventurous in the bedroom.” The way this is phrased, it makes the wife seem timid—a character weakness—rather than making the husband sound aggressive.
Jason and Maria want something entirely different out of the same marriage. They’ve been together for 15 years, and it has taken Jason that long to realize that he and his wife’s vision of a successful marriage are worlds apart.
Vashti saying “no” to her husband is one of the more spectacular displays of strength in all of Scripture. Doing so certainly reduced her comfort and life circumstances for a few decades but it also immortalized her character and strength for thousands of years.
The leader of the wives’ study group looked at Lisa and me, explaining that after reading numerous books on marriage together, it always seemed to come down to the wives being the ones to set the relationship right. All of these women had read many books on marriage.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.
“Over the course of my marriage, intercourse has drastically changed from something I just endured to something that frustrated the heck out of me to something I crave.” Ruth Buezis lived with various degrees of sexual frustration for about twenty-five years.
As Debra Fileta and I have been doing podcasts on Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, one of the most common questions we get is “what is healthy sexuality?” Here are three essential markers; I’m sure there are some others to consider, but in light of the c
Debra Fileta is an author and licensed counselor, who I was honored to work with as a co-author of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life. She did such a brilliant job on her chapters; I’m excited for you to read them. Here’s a sneak peek at how she thinks.
Do you long to reduce marital conflict and live in peace? Are you tired of the battles and disappointments? After you’re married for a while, the frequent conflict gives way to heartache and resentment.
This is episode #69, and in honor of everyone’s favorite two-digit sexy number, I thought we’d have some fun and do an episode all about oral sex!
Today I want to address some thoughts around what to do if your spouse isn’t enthusiastic about the same things you are. Specifically, what to do if your spouse isn’t on board with your desires sexually.
For her new book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, author Shaunti Feldhahn studied more than 1,000 married couples to find out what the happiest ones had in common.
Is your wife complaining of your neediness? Has she asked for space or said she feels smothered? I talk a lot about women’s intuition and their ability to FEEL the intentions of men, especially their romantic partners. In a long term relationship, this ability is even more fine-tuned.
People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life is still as good as it ever was. Here's what I tell them in return: "There are only three possibilities. One: This couple is lying. Two: They are telling the truth, because they didn't have good sex to begin with.
Three years ago I had sex every single day, for one whole year. To answer the most popular questions I've been asked since: No, it was not with 365 men. It was with one, my husband. Yes, even while I was on my period. I have no idea what my kids were doing while we were having sex.
Does your wife seem more hesitant and less enthusiastic about sex than she used to be? Does it seem like her confidence in her body has plummeted? Do you sometimes wonder if she thinks about sex at all? If so, it may be that she doesn’t feel sexy anymore.
Here’s the way to avoid the nearly inevitable sexless marriage experienced by so many long-term couples and in fact have your sex life get stronger as you get older. Guys, I have bad news for you. You know the joke “If you want to have sex, don’t get married!”? Well, it’s largely true.
Have you ever dealt with couples where one partner had issues with being touched? That’s the situation I am in now. I have been seeing a guy for about eight months and he’s really great. He’s sweet, gives me little gifts, great conversationalist, supports me, has a lot in common with me, etc.
The Bible is straightforward about the origin of sex: God created the two genders, and human sexuality, including all its physical, emotional, and spiritual intricacies, is God’s invention.
Sex was created to be a unique experience to bind husband and wife together in what the Bible calls a “one flesh” unity (Matthew 19:6).
In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul is addressing practical questions related to marriage raised by the believers in Corinth.
Physical intimacy is part of God’s normal plan for marriage, and a husband and wife have a responsibility to meet each other’s needs in this area (1 Corinthians 7:2–4).
Even if you put in a grueling 40+ hour work week, cook dinner, change diapers, and coach your kid’s soccer team, guess what? You may still not get it right!
Continuously learn who your partner is. Show them that you know who they are.
Jane: “Why do you do that?” John: “Do what?” Jane: “You ignore me.” John: “No, I don’t.” Jane: “We need to talk about this. You’re doing it now.” John: “I don’t see the problem. You’re overreacting.
How does not wanting to be touched impact a relationship? This ‘shut down’ dynamic often leaves both partners confused about what is happening as this isn’t necessarily a conscious or straight forward process. One partner feels they have shut down and the other feels rejected and lost.
Plus, why some have never used a razor below the belt. Do you remember the first time you shaved your pubes? When you were awkwardly bent over in the shower yelling at your parents to stop knocking on the door and asking why you've been in there for so long...oh, was that just me?
Humans are wired to be touched. From birth until the day we die, our need for physical contact remains. Being touch starved — also known as skin hunger or touch deprivation — occurs when a person experiences little to no touch from other living things.
The best sex happens when you both start looking at sex as a wonderful, beautiful, powerful privilege just for the two of you. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
There is one benefit to lovemaking that stands out above them all. There are many great reasons to increase the amount of sexual activity in your marriage. Research has shown it boosts your immune system, improves brain function, burns calories, lowers stress and improves sleep.
In my previous post, I gave husbands the five things every wife longs to hear on a daily or near-daily basis. Today I’m speaking to wives about the things most husbands long to hear from their wives regularly.
A Men-Only Monday Post What your wife doesn’t know might be hurting her more than you realize. There’s a well-known idiom, “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” It’s used by some husbands to rationalize hiding certain things from their wives.
Creating a sexual menu together is a great way to talk openly about your sexual wishes. Continuing with last week’s culinary theme (6 Ways Food and Sex Go Together), this week we’ll use the analogy of a menu to examine your sexual repertoire.
Ladies, it’s time we had a talk. Not THE talk, but you’ll definitely need to have had THAT talk before we have THIS talk. It’s a subject that gets joked about, glamorized, and sensationalized, but it’s rarely treated with the sincere power it’s capable of. I’m talking about sex.
Are you pondering how often you should give your husband blowjobs to keep him happy? Throughout my early twenties, there was a big problem in my love life. I found myself endlessly stuck in relationships where I was always chasing a man’s affection.
At some point, between the years of “no” and avoidance on one end and the journey toward full intimacy on the other, there is a moment. While the moment may not be the same for every wife who experiences it, it will be profound and earth-shattering.
At some point, between the years of “no” and avoidance on one end and the journey toward full intimacy on the other, there is a moment. While the moment may not be the same for every wife who experiences it, it will be profound and earth-shattering.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. Psalm 139:1 When I was a teenager, I read an advice column that appeared in the newspaper. A girl had written in to ask she could avoid sex on dates. The advice columnist said, “Use an aspirin. Hold it tightly between the knees. And just say no.”
I began to read about the great joy that comes with a good sex life. I was seeing models of what could be, and I began to want some of that.
When we think of men talking about sex, the notion of locker room talk typically comes to mind: sexual details, guffaws, high fives, and the like. At a retreat last month, I had the privilege of listening to five men—real and decent marriage-minded Christian husbands—talk about sex.
Marriage invites us to see our spouse’s failings better than anyone else can see them. And it’s far easier to see another person’s fault than it is to see our own. You can only change yourself.
Are you a selfish person? I am. At least 50% (or more) of my thoughts and actions each day revolve around keeping life running without stress. In my not so humble opinion, life is best when it is easy, doesn’t require change, and creates a sense of comfort.
This is something Brandon and I work really hard on, all the time. In the heat of a disagreement or even in playful flirting with each other we can say something in a way which comes across as hurtful. It’s not the content of what we said that hurts but how it was spoken.
Spock (husband) and I are fans of board games. We both enjoy learning, strategy, and competition, along with cooperation when the game requires (e.g., Pandemic). A few years back, we tried our first bedroom game, and we’ve played a few since.
You might think the three things higher-drive spouses long for are sex, sex, and sex. But while I’m certain higher-drive husbands and wives would like greater frequency of sexual intimacy in marriage, I truly believe they want more.
In recent years, there’s been an explosion of research about sex. This is a mostly good development as we seek to understand more about how our brains and bodies work with regard to sexuality and apply that understanding to physical intimacy in our marriages.
As usual, I’ve been thinking about great sexual intimacy in marriage and what it takes to get there. Are there principles that are must-haves to experience all that God intended for our marriage beds? Desire. I’m not talking about libido, or sex drive.
What does your husband want in bed? I can’t say exactly, since I don’t know your husband. However, I have interacted with so many husbands now that I feel confident about what many want from their wives. Mind you, this is not all men.
I love to peruse the internet for recent studies that involve sex. While God’s Word remains the foundation of my perspective on sexual intimacy, we have learned a lot about His creation and how things work in the bedroom from well-conducted research.
We can overemphasize the physicality and techniques of sex. But once you’ve built that emotional and spiritual connection in your marriage bed, why not discover some good moves that can bring intense pleasure to your husband?
Ah, oral sex … the first posts I wrote about it were oh-so-popular. I mean, really — a Christian wife talking about “blow jobs”? Yet, it’s been a while since I revisited this topic.
One of the gentlemen in our recently launched KHS Community asked an interesting question. Essentially, he wanted to know what I and other higher drive wives have learned about “how to more effectively inspire your lower drive husbands to say yes to sex.”
Higher desire spouses by definition want sex more than their mate. But sometimes they don’t want it either. What causes a higher desire (HD) spouse to pass up or avoid sex. Well, I asked some HD spouses.Let’s look at their top nine reasons for saying no, thanks.
When I started this series on Praying More for your marriage and your sexual intimacy, I admitted that I didn’t know exactly what it would look like. How would have a whole year of blog posts about praying? But God kept nudging me that this was the direction to take, so I stepped out in faith.
Or even post a picture of some hunky Hollywood celeb and let that speak for itself. But, of course, that’s not something I want to promote! I don’t seek out photos of shirtless men with six-packs or suave guys with smoldering looks in their overly blue eyes.
I’ll be honest: I’m sitting here on the Sunday after the United States inauguration and feeling sick and tired of the news, my Facebook feed, and people I know and love from both sides of the aisle being at constant odds with each other.
I’ve been hearing more and more from spouses refused sex for a long time in their marriage. They are understandably disheartened and frustrated, but some are also angry. Not just angry with their spouses, but angry with me and other Christians for letting their spouse off the hook.
Neither of us is a big talker during lovemaking. Even so, I’ve been known to lose control of my tongue and blurt out something that may or may not be all that coherent. Anyway, several months ago, we were in the middle of a particularly passionate sexual encounter.
In recent weeks, I’ve been looking for more sources of both practical information and emotional inspiration to address my current chronic health issues.
Some believe that Christian marital intimacy speakers and writers overemphasize sexuality in marriage. It can seem at times that we are obsessed with sex. When you write about this area of marriage, you do think about sex a lot.
Whether you’re an aspiring Olympic athlete or a nascent little leaguer, the only effective way to improve your game is through good coaching and practice. It’s true with anything in the physical realm.
You finally started work on that big project you’ve been aching to accomplish. You’re in the middle of the best novel you’ve read in the last year and just reached the point where the detective is about to reveal the killer.
Lori of The Generous Wife recently shared about the beauty of having a good friend with whom you can talk and pray. I’ve also written about the importance of having friends who support your marriage and sexual intimacy.
My husband says I have an ongoing problem of taking on more than I can accomplish. On this, and plenty of other things, he is right! After a couple of weeks of running around trying to get things done and feeling that I was nowhere near on time with anything, I’m trying to regain my equilibrium.
I admit to being nervous about publishing my Oral Sex: How To post last Thursday, which you can read HERE. However, I was blown away by the number of comments I received.
Not long ago, I posed a simple question in my higher drive wife group. The 111 answers I received reveal a lot about how a spouse regularly rejected in marriage feels.
We live at a great time when so many resources exist to help marriages with a variety of challenges, including the sexual arena, and it’s worthwhile to put “Read a Marriage Book” on your to-do list. That said, there’s a good way and a bad way to read marriage books.
A husband in my closed Facebook group recently posed the question of “what is it that the ladies enjoy so much about giving [oral sex]?” He explained that he didn’t mind giving to her, but felt awkward about the reverse and didn’t understand why a wife would enjoy that activity.
Sexual refusal is definitely a hot topic. I hear from varied voices on this sensitive subject. Some defend sexual refusal, stating that it’s horrible to suggest someone engage in sex just to please their partner.
One of the best things about having this blog is hearing from couples who are in various stages of figuring out God’s gift of sexuality for their marriage. Some have celebratory stories, some have heartbreaking ones, and some are in between. I pray for all of them.
Sex has been a big part of my life—an identity marker, if you will. I grew up in a Christian household with the simple yet popular instruction of DON’T: don’t do it, don’t talk about it, don’t even think about it.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled Oral Sex: How To in which I gave some tips to wives for giving a “blow job.” In the comments, it was suggested more than once that I discuss how wives can enjoy being on the receiving end of oral sex.
Self 1: I should do a post on giving blow jobs. Self 2: What are you going to say about blow jobs?
Husband: Lord, how beautiful is my wife, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Thank you for the beauty she displays inside and out. Wife: How handsome is my husband, my beloved! Oh, how charming! Lord, may our bed be verdant.
Each year, I try to set a goal for the year and for my readers. In 2014, it was about being happy. In 2015, it was feeling beautiful. In 2016, it was knowing scripture. As I considered what challenge to take on in 2017, I kept coming back to this one: prayer.
On Saturdays this year, I’m talking about praying for your marriage bed. One of the first questions is How can we pray for their marriage bed? What do we pray for? Immediately, it popped into my mind that we should pray for what Jesus prayed for us: unity (see John 17:11-23.).
I’m back again for another installment of the Summer of Q&A with J. Here’s today’s question sent to me from a husband. He describes a conflict he had with his wife: I have been giving a lot of thought to a recent disagreement on sexual intimacy.
This is a question that landed in my inbox a while ago, and I wrote back a quick answer. But re-reading through emails, I decided I wanted to tackle the question of Song of Solomon here.
When we talk about sexual gatekeeping, it refers to a spouse controlling or limited access to sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, it’s happening in many marriages. Here’s a question I received from a wife: I’ve been reading more and more about your posts on gatekeeping and sexual refusal.
Could you please send links to articles that specifically address wives who are averse to “finishing” when we give oral sex to our husbands. … his desire for me to do this comes up periodically and he has been very kind and patient about my aversion.
Today’s question recently came into my inbox, and I really wanted to cover it because I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this subject with hubbies in mind: I am about to get married and my fiancé and I had briefly talked about shaving down there.
Welcome to another monthly roundup of recent posts, podcast episodes, recommended resources, and much more. Scroll through to find what you might have missed or your next great resource for marriage.
I’ve had a theory for several years, in answer to the question: What do women want? My response? Security.
“You want me to put my mouth where?!!” That’s the gut response of many wives when they first contemplate giving oral sex. It seems natural to match up genitalia, but when it comes to your mouth, that’s a whole different story.
Orgasm seems to be a rather straightforward experience. Scientifically speaking, a woman has had an orgasm when she releases sexual tension through rhythmic muscular contractions in her pelvic area.
A friend and I were recently discussing how supposed “experts” often dispense very bad marriage advice. It got me thinking about how great resources are available, yet some “experts” might actually be hurting the sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Did that title catch your eye? We don’t usually see the words “gospel” and “bedroom” in the same sentence. The Gospel is the central point of Christianity.
I love the movie “Say Anything.” It came out when I was in college, and I remember being so struck by its story and characters.
I was thinking about advice I’ve given to husbands over the course of this blog. I seem to give one particular sex tip over and over and over . . . What is that tip? What is the one practical idea that would help a husband engage his wife more fully in the bedroom? It’s simple really.
Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another” (thanks, Google!), so sexual empathy would be understanding and sharing the sexual feelings of another, particularly your spouse.
I’m doing something different today and encouraging you click elsewhere, to the Delight Your Marriage podcast. This is a new marriage and sexuality podcast hosted by Belah Rose, who requested an interview with me.
Today is the wrap-up of my short series on how to use your body parts during sexual intimacy. I previously covered the following: While I believe that marriages can benefit from specific coaching and tips, I don’t think that technique is as important as other factors.
Look up “hip” in your Bible, and there isn’t much in the way of romance. There is mention of how the behemoth’s strength is in his hips (Job 40:17), but if a husband dared to bring that reference into the bedroom, he’d deserve the glacier-melting glare he got from his wife.
Yes, legs. In Song of Songs 7:1, the husband comments on his wife’s lovely gams, “Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands.
Which got me thinking about how we use our bodies in the marital bedroom. Sex should involve so much of our bodies, as we touch, kiss, and join together in this intimate act to express and foster love.
Did you know that if you type the keyword “hands” into a Bible search engine, you get 579 results. “Hand”? 748 results. “Touch”? Only 40. I recently announced a new series: Using Your Body in Marital Intimacy.
I’m a fan of rhymes. For instance, what rhymes with thrive? Well, here are a few options. Which of them would you say best describes your marriage at the moment? I certainly hope it’s one of the more positive words! But none of those words is quite like the meaning of thrive.
My parents had a terrible marriage. This is not news, since their divorce is public record. But recently, I’ve been contemplating once again the example I grew up with. Let’s just say they didn’t set me up well to address issues in my own marriage.
True story: Some husbands really want oral sex from their wives, and their wives are adamantly against it. Other than concerns about whether it’s okay with God, the most cited reasons I hear for wives withholding this sexual act are hygiene and the ick factor.
Lately, I’ve been watching lizards mate on my back porch. They’re brown anole lizards, native to Cuba and the Bahamas, but now living in several US states including Texas. The male is larger and engages in “a dance of sorts when attempting to attract a mate.
Today’s post is personal. Straight from my heart and no-holds-barred. I have 22 emails in my Inbox, several messages on Facebook, and 17 outstanding comments that require more than a 1-3 sentence reply. I’ve let these things stack up, and I feel bad about it. Truly, truly bad.
If you listened to our recently launched podcast, Sex Chat for Christian Wives, episode two, you heard myself, Bonny of OysterBed7, Gaye of Calm.Healthy.Sexy, and Chris of The Forgiven Wife talk about the benefits of trying various sexual positions in the marriage bed.
What a treat today! One of my favorite marriage bloggers, Paul Byerly of The Generous Husband and The Marriage Bed, is joining us to send his message to us wives from the hubbies.
A few years back, I wrote an intimacy-focused poem based on Clement Clark Moore’s “The Night Before Christmas,” and it was published on the site Unveiled Wife.
When life gets busy, one of the first things to go in a relationship is sex. Couples are too tired, too full, too stressed, too distracted. Simply put: not in the mood. We get it -- there are a million and one legitimate reasons not to have sex tonight, tomorrow or the day after that.
For one week, focus on kissing and put sex on hold. Center in on being with your partner rather than trying to get to sex. Focus more on how much you care for and love your partner and less on getting something from them.
As women, we do a wonderful job blaming ourselves for the lack of romance in our marriage.It was 1998 and I waited nervously in my doctor's waiting room. The blood tests were in, and I was convinced something was wrong with me.
After 30 or 40 years of marriage, you can't blame some couples for settling into not-so-constructive patterns. You get married young, you share joy, pain, stress, and family, and gradually you might realize you fight often, rarely have sex, and feel far apart even when you're in the same room.
When it come to female sexuality it's all about desire and arousal. The issue for many women is the order in which desire and arousal flow.
If you haven’t read the latest research about the sexual habits of American marrieds and singles, you are probably among the majority of people who have the belief that singles are having a lot more sex than folks who are married. Well guess what. They’re not.
Go, have sex with your spouse, and even try to enjoy it. And tell me if your marriage doesn't get just a bit closer and more connected, in spite of yourself.There was quite a maelstrom over my recent articles What Men Think About Sex... And the Reality and What Women Think About Sex Vs The Reality.
Having walked through an unwanted divorce, I am well acquainted with the deep-rooted issue of insecurity. To this day, I feel deeply for women who frequently battle that war.
A finalist for the 2020 National Book Award, Deesha Philyaw’s noted collection of short stories, The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, explores the tension between female sexual desire and the religious atmosphere in which Philyaw embeds her characters.
If mismatched sex drives are ruining your marriage, there are paths to healthy compromise that will ultimately strengthen your intimacy.
You might be surprised, but men have some great input on what love feels like. iMOM shares 2 aspects of romance from the male perspective on love.
If you want to be happier, advice is easy to come by. Like how buying a little time can lead to significantly greater life satisfaction. And how avoiding the effect of relative deprivation can lead to greater fulfillment.
Note from Leigh Ann: I’m really excited to welcome Sheila today as a guest writer. I get questions a lot as a blogger, and this is a topic that I just don’t ever feel equipped to answer. When Sheila emailed me, I jumped at the chance to have her here.
How to romance your husband is a well-researched area by many. I know because I just searched the phrase and nearly a million results popped up. Today, we’re going to talk about how to romance your man and share four approaches to cultivating a “pursuit mindset.
Most people marry their opposites and it was no different for my husband and I. He’s laid back, I am more extroverted.
My husband only wants me sexually is a position a wife should never find herself in. We don’t marry for sex. At least I hope we didn’t marry for sex only. I pray we married a person to love, not a body to have sex with.
We do and say so many things that we don’t really give much thought to. In reality, these things may be disrespectful and hurtful to your husband, thus slowly damaging your marriage. We need to be careful and intentional with our words and actions, including your social media posts.
Without a doubt, this is a universal problem. Every marriage faces communication problems at some point. Why are we not talking to the one person we vowed to spend our life with? Or, if we are talking, it’s not in a way that is effective.
Just for the record, I gave equal air time in the post “How to Destroy Your Wife’s Womanhood in 10 Easy Steps.“ Here’s how you can destroy your husband’s manhood in 10 easy steps… 1. Ignore him sexually (or just go through the motions). Sex matters.
Always on the lookout for solid resources on sexual intimacy in marriage, I was excited to read “Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life” by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC.
Why? Well, I imagine husbands out there could chime in with a whole list of reasons, but I’ll offer up three today. At its core, there is something really manly about that.
I remember years ago having lunch with a friend and we were talking about sex in general — and oral sex in particular. “What’s not to like about oral sex?!” I said rather emphatically, more as a statement than a question. “Giving or receiving?” she inquisitively asked.
Yes. I know. I’m living proof there are more than three things.
I realize some husbands are insensitive and walking way outside God’s lines with some of their sexual requests. And that’s just plain wrong. So if you are reading this and you’re that guy… stop it. Stop being careless with your marriage. And that is a good thing.
It seems to be the crux of most sexual struggles in marriage—different expectations. If you’ve been married for even a day, you probably have already discovered there is no one-time conversation that is going to set the stage for sex for the rest of your marriage.
Have you ever grown bored with sex in your marriage? Come on, now. It’s just you and me talking here.
Before I get too much pushback on this post, I want you to know I am well aware that many marriages are wrought with sexual struggles. Some of those are rooted in relationship issues. Some are anchored in addictions or skewed perceptions about sex.
Are you sexually refusing your spouse? I’m not talking about situations where the sexual disrepair is shackled to deep and sometimes painful roadblocks (Lack of repentance about infidelity and pornography use. Medical diagnoses or injuries that make sex difficult or impossible.
Is it dangerous to deny your husband sex? I personally believe it can be… 1. You compromise your marriage vows — and possibly your marriage itself.
And I feel strongly that if a husband and wife are physically able to have it, then it should be an integral part of their lovemaking. It’s a beautiful physical act God designed that speaks volumes about oneness (literally and spiritually).
So it’s been awhile, you say? Awhile since the two of you genuinely enjoyed sex. Or even had sex. The circumstances that usher a married couple into little or no sex are varied, and it’s possible I’ve heard them all.
If you are sexually inhibited, I have my theories as to why. 1. You’re afraid you will lose control.
Who can possibly forget the restaurant scene in the 1989 movie When Harry Met Sally, in which Meg Ryan’s character fakes an orgasm to prove the point that most men would not be able to tell if a woman is faking?
I’m often accused of rallying around sexually-deprived husbands (figuratively, mind you) way more than I come to the defense of the wives who are doing the refusing. Guilty as charged. I admit it.
Well, I learned a lot more than 5 things, but since we’re talking about sex, I’ll stick to that topic. Here goes: 5. Hormones do matter.
Disclaimer: This post is directed at marriages where abuse is not occurring. I realize without this disclaimer, some people could assume I am saying that a wife in an abusive situation has no reason to deny sex.
My husband and I were laughing the other day about my less than stellar organization skills when it comes to meal planning. But admittedly, I don’t always know what I’m cooking until I open the fridge or freezer and scan. For me, it looks something like this:
Enough already with all these silly attempts to paint men into a corner as bumbling adolescents with a one-track mind. TV sitcoms, one-liner jokes, stand-up comedy routines and conversations at the local hair salon brim with commentary about the male sexual appetite.
I’m not here to debate whether oral sex is okay for Christian married couples. Personally I’m a fan (giving and receiving), and I can’t find any biblical argument against it.
And I suspect there are more than a few of us out there—wives who enjoy pleasing their husbands orally. I am not naive. I recognize there are many wives who are resistant and hesitant about oral sex.
I’ve been blessed to connect with Brad and Kate Aldrich of One Flesh Marriage. Today Kate shares how inhibitions can sabotage sexual intimacy. Take a look and see what you think. All wives have inhibitions where sexual intimacy is concerned.
Some women struggle with performing oral sex on their husbands because of the prevalence of oral sex depicted in pornography. Obviously, in pornography, women are often treated as nothing more than a means toward a man’s sexual satisfaction.
Let me tell you a story that will be a good segue into my topic today. It has compelled me to better understand what it means to age well.
I was lamenting once to my grandmother about all I needed to get done — around the house, with the kids, with life in general. The daily tasks of daily life were wearing me out. As a wife, mom and woman in general, I do somewhat fit that stereotype that “women are natural multi-taskers.
My husband is an avid gardener and grows quite a few varieties of peppers. Last year, for the first time he grew Tabasco peppers, which are tiny, but obviously (as the name implies), very hot.
My friend Leah and I were recently at a women’s event at a local church, where we went to the meet-and-greet beforehand with Christian speakers Patsy Clairmont, Jan Silvious and Anita Renfroe. So much fun!
This can be such a raw place for a husband and wife. One spouse desires sex and the other is indifferent or callous, maybe even to the point of shaming their spouse for their sexual desire.
As anyone who has followed my blog will know, I am a big proponent of married couples nurturing their sexual intimacy. I’ve written about oral sex before, simply because it is indeed a source of contention within many marriages (maybe even more so among Christian married couples).
Some marriages go decades without sex, so the question of “can” doesn’t really get at the heart of the matter. But most marriages? Yeah, in most marriages, sex IS an option. My guess is if you are reading this right now, sex IS an option in your marriage — yet it never or rarely occurs.
Occasionally, people think I land too much on the side of husbands when it comes to denial of sex. Many of my posts do indeed encourage wives to be more sexually available and interested.
It’s a dilemma. And more often than not, it’s a dilemma for wives, whose husbands want to do something sexually that really turns the wife off. Just to be clear, let’s remove from the picture anything that biblically would be off grounds. I’ve talked before about what’s okay sexually.
Years ago, a friend and I were talking in general about sex. In the course of our conversation, the topic of oral sex came up. Now I realize that this throws me into a narrow group of wives who embrace the value of oral sex as part of a couple’s sexual repertoire.
Many newly-married couples are apprehensive about sex. Sometimes even couples who have been married quite awhile are apprehensive. They aren’t quite sure how to go about doing that, though. Despite what entertainment would lead us to believe, we don’t instinctively know how to have great sex.
I’ve written about sex long enough to know there are a variety of answers (and reasons) rolling through the heads of my readers right now. Some of you (I hope a lot of you) never fake orgasm, because like me, you’d rather have an orgasm than fake one.
Years ago, I was having lunch with a woman who would eventually become one of my closest friends. At the time of our lunch all those years ago, we were new colleagues, and we soon discovered we had a plethora of things in common — our love of sex being one of them.
Here’s a question. When was the last time you were in your small group or out to breakfast after church, and someone casually offered up this as a conversation starter: “What do you all think about oral sex?” Let me guess. Never, right?
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It sounds blasphemous to say sex begins in church. I mean, it really does. But not when it’s the kind of sex I’m talking about — between a husband and a wife who see the value of nurtured sexual intimacy.
Some wives and I were chatting about sex positions and came to the conclusion that there are about 5 that most of us can do. Any positions beyond those are probably best tried and mastered by Cross Fit gurus or American Ninja Warriors. (Of which I am neither. Insert sad face here).
And truth be told, our household was already immersed in some debilitating stress before the upheaval of a pandemic began to work its way across the world. So the pandemic and social distancing and homeschooling… well, suffice to say, our cup runneth over in the stress department.
Sometimes people wonder why I’m so passionate about this topic of sexual intimacy in marriage. They think my confidence in speaking openly and authentically about sex has always been there.
I’m so glad Jim and Carrie Gordon of The Intimate Couple are adding their insights to my “altar” series. Their below post is a perfect follow up to my post the other day about unintentionally killing your sexual intimacy. Have you become indifferent to sex in your marriage?
Sex can be a lot of fun! That’s why I’m thrilled Mrs. Hot Holy Humorous has decided to chime in on my “altar” series.
Wives, Want to Be Turned On By GIVING Him Oral Sex? Great Oral Sex on Vacation. Or at Home.
The term “non-sexual touch” usually is brought up when a couple has struggled with getting on the same page about sexual intimacy.
In other words, healthy sexual intimacy is so woven into the fabric of how they do life that they barely notice it as a separate entity. The positive effects of all that great sex seem to show up throughout the marriage, yet a couple wouldn’t necessarily be able to pinpoint such benefits.
I used to always think that when I finally meandered into Heaven, I would make a beeline for God to clear up all my unanswered questions.
I could say this post is only for you husbands, but I think husbands and wives would do their sexual intimacy a world of good by reading this post together. Possibly you already love sexual pleasure.
It is a worthy question. What do you crave sexually in your marriage bed? Sadly, “crave” in a sexual sense is a word we may too easily associate with sinful sexual desires rather than holy ones. But there is holy sexual craving! There is sexual craving crafted by God, not by the world.
Not sure what made me more sad. That the discounts weren’t really that great. Or that a brick-and-mortar bookstore that sells actual books is being gobbled up by the phenomena of eReaders.
Okay, I don’t know if your husband specifically has contacted me. I hear from a lot of husbands via my blog. Frankly, many of them think I have some easy solution to get their wives to want to have sex with them.
My grandmother, who was almost 93, recently died, so I was a bit consumed with the emotional journey, as well as logistical details of making arrangements, writing a eulogy, etc. Her dying wish was that I compile her memoirs from the WWII era.
Occasionally, people contact me interested in writing a guest post for my site. While I don’t run all of these, I do value throwing a different voice out here once in awhile. So today we have a guest post from Lisa Shoreland, who is a resident blogger for the site Go College.
They wondered if I thought this was okay. Some of you may think the couple’s quandary is a rare exception among Christian couples.
No news flash here, but porn is devastating. Despite what mainstream society would try to lead you to believe, the research has been in for quite some time on this. Porn decimates authentic intimacy, leaving in its wake atrocious collateral damage.
And maybe you aren’t one of those sexually selfish husbands, and this post doesn’t apply to you. But there are some out there. And maybe you are one.
Recently, I wrote about sexually selfish husbands, and it’s only fair I give equal voice to the reality there are some sexually selfish wives too. This can show up in a variety of ways.
Recently, a reader commented on my post 5 Things You Must Know if You Are Denying Your Husband Sex. “I am doubtful that any of the women you are speaking to are willing to own up to what they are doing. There are always ‘reasons’ to choose not to be close to their husbands.
Don’t stop at the headline. Take a breath and keep reading. You might agree with me before we are through. A friend and I were having coffee recently, and nearby was a young mom with a baby who looked to be about four months old. He was scrumptiously adorable, I must admit.
As a recent study from Business Insider points out, millennials (those born between 1981 and 1996) believe the ten most serious issues facing the world are all global issues, with climate change topping the list.
Reading time: approximately 15 minutes. This post is something of a large-scale roadmap for my thinking on this issue; in the near future I plan to break down many of the points in this post individually, explaining each point in more detail.
You heard it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman/wife in order to covet her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27–28)
Couples fight about this one a lot. You know this one right?
Dare of the Month More info
What do you do when your spouse won’t have sex with you? Husbands and wives are puzzled, hurt, and frustrated because their spouse either refuses sex or will have sex only on rare occasions.
Many years ago I couldn’t wait to experience my honeymoon. The day when I could finally know my husband on a sexual level. But now the honeymoon is over and real life has begun. Yet, I can’t help but think back to that first night, as well as, the early months of our relationship.
Ever wondered exactly why men love blowjobs? Besides the baseline explanation of ‘they feel good’? Then I Google it and, after reading through the first ten articles, I am disappointed with humanity.
If there’s one thing I receive more emails about on a weekly basis than anything else, it’s sex. How do I get more sex from my partner? How do I have better sex? How can I last longer? How do I get my partner to initiate more?
Really? Advice on giving a world class blowjob from a straight guy? That’s weird. Or… is it?
Sex is something that is rarely talked about in the Christian community. It can be difficult to know what is ok and what is sinful in the eyes of God. Even though this is an awkward topic to dive into, we must educate ourselves on this topic so that we ensure we bring glory to God in all we do.
To save your marriage, there are five prerequisites. When working with couples, I look for these five things. No matter what marriage problems might present themselves, when these characteristics are present, problems can be overcome.
Truth is often missed in one of two ways. Like a pendulum swinging back and forth, if the truth is in the center, you can miss it either to the left or right. This is true of sex.
Preachers do not preach very often about sex. In fairness, there are a lot of topics which need to be covered and only one Sunday a week. However, we should talk about it more. Our sex-saturated culture needs to hear what the Bible has to say about healthy sexuality.
When couples ask how much sex they should be having, I generally say, “Probably more than one of you wants and a little less than the other desires.” Rarely does a couple possess the same sex drive.
Do you feel nauseous? What if you did? What if in the next three minutes you went from feeling just fine to having that unmistakable uneasiness that the stomach virus is coming upon you.
Respect must reside at the heart of every marriage which desires to thrive. It can’t be something which is simply implied or discussed; it must be felt. When disrespect enters into a relationship, the couple begins a downward spiral from which it is very difficult to recover.
Friendship is the foundation of a healthy marriage. I’ve written on the topic on several occasions. See:
Wives: Spend the rest of your marriage trying to understand the importance of sex in the lives of men, especially your husbands. You don’t get it.
It’s all foreplay. Everything. From the cleanliness of the kitchen, to the tone used in the latest disagreement, to the last time you visited your in-laws. All of it. In the movies sex is compartmentalized into one segment of life.
The heart of marriage is friendship. Without it, a meaningful marriage cannot exist.
It’s clearly the exception and not the rule. In nearly every case, the sex in an affair is great. Yet, the sex is great.
One of the problems with two of the three types of sex every married couple should have is that sometimes one spouse is not in the mood for sex.
Marriages fail for a variety of reasons. Some buckle under the weight of bills that can’t be paid while others suffer due to an inability to handle financial prosperity.
Do you know what a dying marriage sounds like? Would your recognize it if you heard it?
Men, this isn’t for you. Trust me. Let me say something to the women and if they listen you will be happy, but stop reading. (See: If I Could Tell Husbands One Thing) Ok, ladies, this should be interesting.
I find it interesting that God talks about sex in the Ten Commandments. We know sex is important, but the fact that it made the Top Ten is surprising. While we seek to privatize sex, God seems to publicize it. (See: What Your Husband Wants from You In Bed)
Sex can’t make a marriage, but it can reveal many things about the state of one’s marriage. A fulfilling sexual relationship can be the fuel which drives a healthy marriage. An inability to grow together sexually can destroy a relationship no matter how healthy other aspects may be.
When I started the blog at the beginning of 2013, I knew marriage would be a common topic. Eventually I settled into the schedule of writing about marriage every Wednesday. I assume it is a schedule I will keep in 2014. Many of the marriage posts are the most read posts from the year.
Yesterday I covered a topic I get asked about on a weekly basis. 13 Questions to Gauge If You Need Marriage Counseling provides a guide to assist those wondering if they might need counseling.
What does your husband want from you in bed? Nearly every couple I know fights about sex. When we are young and in love, it is impossible to imagine sex becoming a topic of tension.
It’s the most common phrase I hear from couples regarding sex. Most people understand the importance of a healthy sexual relationship within a marriage. It isn’t everything, but it is something and it’s a very important something.
Two of the more frequent questions that I receive through KevinCarson.
Often one of the pieces of advice a mother will give her daughter before marriage is, “Make sure you give your new husband sex because he needs it.” This is common language used among both men and women that a man needs sex.
Another night, another rejection. You could be a woman longing for your husband to have sex with you.
Both in individual and group counseling with men, one of the biggest temptations for married men is discontentment with reasonable expectations for sex within his own marriage.
Sex. Just the mention of the word fills individuals with emotion. The culture idolizes sex. In many ways, sex has become exalted as the epitome of human experience. Increasingly over time, recreational sex dominates the world around us.
Depending upon who you talk with, there may be many answers to the question, “What are the benefits of good sex?” My guess is though, not many people have taken the time to think through a list of the various benefits of a vibrant, healthy sex life as a married couple.
How often should we have sex? This is a question that I hear frequently by both married and premarried couples. Many times couples come into marriage with unrealistic expectations related to the frequency of sex for any number of reasons.
If you are going to do something, be passionate about it, and enjoy the passion of it, you ought to know why. What is the purpose of sex? As mankind, why did God give us sex? From our very first father and mother in the Garden, the Bible says that they were naked and not ashamed.
What is the motivation for good sex? No doubt many would speak immediately of pleasure. Getting some. Being fulfilled. Climax or orgasm. Maybe your answer is the crazy-good brain chemicals that come from it. All of these things are incredible blessings of good sex.
Differences in desire for sex is one of the most frequent issues discussed among couples seeking advice for sex. The common stereotype is the husband’s nearly insatiable desire and the wife’s lack of libido.
For women, pelvic floor muscles play a key role in the body as far as preventing things like urinary incontinence or pelvic organ prolapse, in addition to supporting core strength and other aspects of pelvic health and wellness.
This could be a short post if I simply answered that question. Does your wife owe you sex? Yes. She owes you, and you owe her. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
Chris and J usually talk about women’s sexuality with the hope of helping men understand their wives. But today, we discuss what women don’t understand about men’s sexuality. Don’t assume your wife understands your sexuality.
Wait, isn’t this blog about sexual intimacy in marriage? Yes, but a common concern I’ve heard from wives is their husband doesn’t have friends or close confidants. So his longing for intimacy in the sexual relationship feels even more intense.
Many husbands report that their #1 love language is sex. Today, let’s talk about love languages, how sex fits into this framework, and whether your primary love language really is having sex with your wife.
J and I have often stressed the importance of your wife feeling known in your marriage. Feeling known can lead to your wife also feeling accepted and loved—and that in turn is essential in helping her want to be close to you physically.
Countless husbands have written to me to say, “My wife says she doesn’t feel emotionally safe with me. What does that even mean? Why doesn’t she feel safe with me? And what does emotional safety have to do with sex anyway?” The act of sex is extremely vulnerable for a woman.
A whole lot of husbands who read our blog and/or listen to our podcast feel sexually neglected in their marriage.
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Songs 2:3 Maybe you’re one of the many husbands who absolutely love being on the receiving end of oral sex.
Many men enjoy adventure. They want to do new things and challenge themselves. They enjoy the confidence and the feeling of achievement. This is true not just with life in general, but also when it comes to sex with their wives.
When I’m talking to wives, I often address how important it is to make time and space in her schedule for sex.
When I’m talking to wives, I often address how important it is to make time and space in her schedule for sex.
Are you among the many husbands who love, love, love giving their wives oral sex? The taste and smell are intoxicating. She is open and vulnerable to you. Her orgasms are powerful, and you get to witness her sexual pleasure in a very up-close-and-personal way.
Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believe we are capable of.
This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. It turns out the most important part of cultivating a healthy sex life is talking about a healthy sex life. Only 9% of couples who can’t comfortably talk about sex with one another say that they’re satisfied sexually.
The thing that everyone wants to know the answer to, is how to have great sex. Not just as a one off or occasionally, but consistently. Just type into your search bar ‘How to have a good sex life’ and Google tells me that it has “About 2,680,000,000 results”.
I’ve heard that a few more couples that I have known for a long time have separated or divorced. It always bothers me when I hear that a couple has given up. I wonder what went wrong; what happened. I’m not a nosy person.
Marital love must be sexual, so that both marital partners can give themselves fully to each other with joy and exuberance in a healthy relationship marked by fidelity.
When it comes to sexual arousal, a woman's mind and body are less in sync than a man's, a review of research finds.
You're only one workout away from a better sex life! Not only can you lose weight, sculpt a strong, lean body and cause your endorphins to soar, but you can also count on exercise to make your time in the sack more enjoyable.
Want to give your sex life a boost? Hit the gym! Exercise increases energy, strengthens your muscles, helps burn fat and can improve your mood and self-image.
We don’t hear too much about submission anymore. And if we do, it’s usually a command to the wife, to submit to her husband. Still, this is considered a bit archaic in today’s modern culture. Submit to one another.
Why women hate giving blow jobs & men hate them for not doing it. In this powerful report we’re going to get into the head of your woman around this whole blow job thing to find out why women hate giving blow jobs and understand what “going down” has come to symbolize in her mind.
Talking about sex can be a great way to get in the mood. If these type of conversations do not come naturally to you, ask them these sexy questions. If you want a printable version of 30 sexy questions to ask your spouse, you can check them out.
I was asked by my friend Belah Rose from the Delight Your Marriage podcast, to give tips to husbands to sexually please their wives. So I decided to put together a massive list of tips that you can read through and try.
Life is so hectic at times that we may not realize the impact it is having on our romantic relationships. When you and your partner are working hard, you might not notice that you are distant. Here are 4 signs that you have become disconnected from your mate.
Looking for steamy questions to ask your spouse on your next date night? Check out these sexy questions and enjoy your night.
Sexy truth or dare is a fun bedroom game for married couples to enjoy. In sexy truth or dare, you both take turns asking steamy questions or doing a super hot foreplay move and sexy dares. Many people love dares for couples because it helps them break away from their normal sex routine.
If you want to give your husband a blow job, here are a few tips to help you feel confident. Oral sex is a great way to increase intimacy.
Oral sex is a tough topic for married couples, because not everyone feels comfortable with oral sex. Whether they are giving it or receiving it, some people really struggle to feel comfortable. Here is what you can do to feel more comfortable giving and receiving oral sex.
Oral sex is a great way to bring excitement and intimacy in your marriage. When a husband gives his wife oral, she has the opportunity to see him taking care of her. And, it is a great way for a wife to reach orgasm, especially if she isn’t able to through PIV sex.
Trying different positions in the bedroom is really important. When you get out of your normal routine, it makes you have to pay more attention to your spouse. Not only that, it will cause you to communicate.
1. God’s design for sex and how he meant it for intimacy between married people. 2. If you want to wait until marriage to have sex, you need to put a plan in place before you starting dating someone. That plan needs to be shared with the person you are dating.
I hear from couples pretty often that they do not have the same drive as their spouse. Oftentimes, one is higher than the other- or at least it seems that way. Negotiating sex in your marriage is not an easy thing, whether you have the same drive or not.
Want to feel more confident during sex? Here are a few tips that will boost your confidence and help you feel sexy again.
Oral sex can be a wonderful experience for both partners. Click here to learn tips on giving amazing oral sex to your man.
Last week I wrote how to stop feeling grossed out on receiving pleasure with your spouse’s mouth, I received more questions about giving. One reader wanted to know how to stop feeling grossed out by giving their husband oral sex. I realize this is a hard topic, but we need to work through it. Husbands, I want […]
After I wrote about how to stop feeling grossed out on receiving oral sex, I received more questions about giving. One reader wanted to know how to stop feeling grossed out by giving their husband oral sex. This is such a tough topic, but one we really need to work through.
If you are in a marriage with someone that has a higher libido than you, there might be times when you have sex out of obligation. It is not wrong for all individuals to have physical intimacy out of obligation on occasion. The problem becomes when you have a steady diet of obligation sex.
Have you ever thought about taking a kissing challenge with your husband or wife? Some challenges might recommend you kiss for at least one minute for a week or maybe you should challenge yourself to kiss every day at least once.
I get this question a lot, “How do I get my spouse to make sex a priority? It’s like they can take it or leave it and I feel unloved”. It hurts my heart when people write in and ask me this.
Taking care of your partner is important, but your own orgasm is also important. Love Hope Adventure will help you both get what you want.
We all want a better sex life, but sometimes that starts with an attitude shift. Click here to learn about overcoming your struggles for sex.
Ever wanted to try out having sex every single day of the week? Some couples actually do have sex every day, and that’s great for them! But, most couples only have sex a few days a week. Several years ago, we decided to take a sex challenge to have sex every day.
Just to be clear, orgasmic meditation is actually a practice that you can pay for in a clinic with a practitioner or in a community with other people you don’t know, but I don’t personally condone this. However, I loved El Fury’s take on how a husband can do this for his wife.
Does your time of month effect your drive for intimacy? Click here to learn why you and your spouse need a period sex plan.
I’m a huge advocate of dating in your marriage. Dating is a time where you and your spouse can come together to focus on one another. Of course, you have to make the commitment that you are going to put away your phones and spend the time talking about things other than your responsibilities.
Your husband wants you to pay attention to his penis with your words, your hands, body, and eyes. This can make him feel loved and cared for.
Have you ever wondered, What is she really thinking? Have you ever felt confused about your fun time? Reading this will give you a window into things many women are hesitant to say to their men. If nothing else, perhaps this will open dialog between you and your beloved, enhancing adult nap time.
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[dropcap]I[/dropcap]f sex has become boring, disappointing and downright awful, then this column is for you. I’ll bet your husband (or wife) is ready for a new beginning too. There. I gave you a way to start the conversation.
The way we flirt has caused long-term harm to relationships and emotional health. It's time to drop the bullshit. In my previous article about Vulnerability and Manipulative Women, I bashed using teasing/banter as a basis for demonstrating sexual interest.
If you want to know how to improve physical intimacy in marriage, there are several key things you need to keep in mind. But first, what is physical intimacy?
Romance, intimacy, and having good sex are important aspects of the relationship, but often, they are known to fade with time.
If you thought that the only reason people have sex was for pleasure, here’s some insight for you about marriage and sex. Not only would there be positive implications on your relationship as one of the benefits of regular sex, but the health benefits of regular sex can also be enormous.
Most people desire intimate connections with their partners, and these 101 intimate questions to ask your partner can help you to get to know each other better.
When you are in a relationship with that special someone, you want to know them and understand what makes them happy. To achieve this, you need to ask the right questions to get him to open up. It’s not easy choosing the relationship questions to ask your partner.
Communication in marriage can be the sweetest thing that holds a relationship together, or it can be a confusing conundrum that seems to cause more trouble than joy. Having said that, the importance of communication in relationships can not be emphasized enough.
At the start of the relationship, couples often go through the honeymoon phase. It almost feels like being “high” on love. Everything is new and exciting, there is a lot of passion, and the desire is through the roof.
After the first few months of dating for most people, intimacy dies quite quickly. It’s rare for a couple who is extremely intimate at the start of their courtship, to continue it past the first six months or more, which leads to an ongoing decline in intimacy.
29. Ditch those rose-colored glasses! Learn to see your partner’s perspective KERI ILISA SENDER-RECEIVER, LMSW, LSW Get into your partner’s world as much as you can.
Marriage is a special bond, and living with someone almost 24/7 can really change your sex life. Much has been said about the bad side of married sex, but let’s talk about the main benefit- most married sex is ‘come as you are”.
Communication is no doubt one of the hardest parts of sustaining a healthy marriage. As time passes, couples get used to each other and assume that their counterpart understands how they feel at all times. Couples also tend to avoid certain subjects to sidestep a fight or a tough conversation.
Some of us may still fall victim to the belief system that “true love happens naturally” and the implication that “work need not apply” to loving relationships. If you are guilty of this type of thinking, you may be in trouble.
It’s not something that you ever want to have to face as a married couple, but there may come a time when there may be sexual problems in marriage. You want to work together to figure out what is going on. You want to try to pinpoint what the biggest problem areas are.
Is there a lack of sex in your marriage? Everyone has been there once or twice in their lives. But there are tangible ways and tips for better sex in marriage and reignite the passion for your lackluster sex life.
Attitude is everything! At some point in your life, you may have heard this statement; from loved ones, a book, or a TV show. As much as we would like to tell you otherwise, this is the truth. Your attitude affects everything about you, especially your relationships.
The Bible is a fantastic book. It has many fascinating stories. It’s got stories of family issues, fighting, killing, and adultery. There are tales of triumph and stories of sadness. You can also find sex in marriage scriptures in the Bible.
There is a ton of marriage advice on the web. How do I get my wife to have more sex? How can I change my spouse? Why can’t my husband understand my feelings? We all know and have heard it time and time again that marriage requires work.
How many times have you heard someone say, “Men only want one thing and they want it 3 times a day.” We are referring to sex, of course. In all seriousness, men want so much more than sex. Hollywood has painted men to be sex fiends only wanting a girl for her body and nothing else.
I can’t tell you how many times sex has been ruined for me because I’m stuck in my head. SEXpectations are very real and if they are left unexplored or unspoken, they can be dangerous for your sex life, or worse… they can end up hurting your spouse and your marriage.
Gents, what is it about woman and their ability to craft the perfect question to get conversations started? If you are like me, you get stuck on asking the same questions.
No one wants to marry the wrong person, yet somehow so many people do. At some point during your dating and engaged life, you need to ask each other some tough questions. The way your partner answers and responds will be very telling and eye-opening.
I am an external processor and love to talk out loud. My husband is an internal processor and figures out almost everything in his head. This means that sometimes, in marriage, I feel like our conversations are one-sided.
It amazes us how few couples actually talk about their sex life, when survey after survey notes that a healthy sex life is a critical factor to marriage satisfaction. What’s strange is that I couldn’t think of a more stimulating (see what I did there?) topic of conversation than sex.
Are you getting tired of trying the same old positions? If you’ve been married more than a couple years, you probably need to change things up a bit, or a lot.
One wants it more than the other creating a sense of rejection and loneliness every time a pass is batted away. Then you have the other person who wants it less and now feels like its a chore or marital duty.
And, if you need to find something, it is by definition lost, so let’s start there. You’re lost. There’s a problem and that is OK, because we all have problems of one kind or another. I’ve been through plenty of seasons where my wife and I are not connecting well.
I recently picked up a copy of Cosmo while waiting in line at the grocery store and just about dropped the magazine to the floor as I read the piece of “wisdom” to women on how to get your man to give you oral sex.
There’s so much more you can do than the simple up-and-down strokes of a typical hand job. We’re going to share several hand job tips and techniques that are sure to blow your husband’s mind. It’s very important to know about the parts of your husband’s penis and how they work.
The head of a woman’s clitoris, which is only about the size of a small pea, has a staggering 8,000 nerve endings; twice as many as the head of her husband’s penis! Her clitoris’ sole purpose is to give her pleasure. It serves no other function than to bring her pure bliss.
Make the best love you can make! Twinkle Fingers is a handjob technique that stimulates his testicles and underside of his penis with the tips of your fingers.
Enthusiasm. That’s it. You don’t need to have a hot body or be an expert at lovemaking to make your husband happy in bed. Your husband loves you just as you are, and I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to know how to do everything perfectly.
Marriage is not always easy, and it’s not always fun. However, you can have a fun marriage, and it starts with the way you think about the everyday events in your relationship. Every marriage goes through times of boredom or stress.
Sexy Attitude – We go to a large church. A while ago, I talked to the head of the Divorce Care ministry which ministers to a large number of divorcees. I asked what would you say is the number one reason for divorce. Without flinching he said, “Affairs.
Don’t have your headphones or a private place to listen right now? Script coming soon: “I have a strong desire for sexual fulfilment. How can my husband think that because he doesn’t want it, that I don’t need it?! I DO need it.”
Ideally, we prefer when both spouses are onboard to receive coaching because, in our eyes, your relationship is our client.
Offering a three step plan to improve sexuality in marriage: read and research about it, make a sex plan, and talk about it a lot! Both times the general consensus seemed to be that they didn’t care much for sex. “Ugh! I don’t care at all about sex.” “I’m so over sex.
What happens when you have sex with your spouse every other day for a month? Good things. Good things happen. This post contains affiliate links.
If we were to ask you if you are a Bible believing Christian the majority of you would say, “Yes, Absolutely!” And while that is an important question to answer, Cindy and I (Steve) believe there’s another question that’s just as important that we need to answer: Are you a BIBLE “LIVING”
How does it make a man feel when his wife puts their children ahead of him? We posed that question to a group of men. Their most common answers are listed below: Most replied that they felt a deep lack of respect from not only their wives, but from their children.
After 27 years of marriage, I’m just beginning to understand my husband’s sexual needs. I DO know that his need for sexual contact is much stronger than mine. While I would be thrilled, with a romantic rendezvous about twice a month, my husband’s sexual needs are more intense.
Wives: what kinds of emotional needs does your sexual interest meet for your husband? Do you know? In written survey comments and in my interviews, I noticed two parallel trends.
In The Message, verse 4 (of 1 Corinthians 7) is paraphrased: The Sexual relationship between a husband and wife is God-ordained. Failure of either to take this seriously to serve each other in this intimate way, brings dishonor to God because it dishonors marriage.
“If both marriage partners agree, is anything taboo?” “What about the use of vibrators?” “Is oral sex okay?” [These are a few questions that Christian women asked about the sexual relationship in marriage from a survey that the authors conducted.
When you don’t want to have sex with your husband, what do you do? Maybe you can relate to the wife’s thoughts expressed below. Sometimes the well-worn excuse, “I’ve got a headache, honey,” is actually true.
I’m going to approach this article a bit differently than others I’ve written. I feel a need to address both women and men on this matter, because it DOES matter. It’s a struggle, whether you’re the wife or the husband. Both feel very strongly about this part of their marriage.
We make time for lots of things in our lives – chores, working out, coffee with a friend, keeping up with our favorite shows, reading, working, walking the dog, and all kinds of other things that are crammed into our busy schedules.
Recently, I was teaching a marriage seminar, and I asked the audience of men and women how many of them were raised in homes where there was a clearly dominant parent. At least two-thirds of them raised their hands.
How many times have you wanted to talk about something sex-related with your spouse but just could not seem to ever get it out?
Hello Husband, Welcome! My name is Calle Zorro and if you are interested in your wife being more affectionate and sexual with you, then you are at the right place… If you have been married for any length of time, I expect you will agree that there is more to a marriage than just sex … and yet, w
Alice Atalanta writes a powerful defense of alpha males, and it’s worth reading for both husbands and wives. We get emails all the time from wives who long for their husbands to “take charge” and husbands who are afraid of their wives.
How often should you and your spouse have sex? From the Bible, the answer is basically “as often as your spouse wants”. Here’s the most directly relevant passage; check it out, and then we’ll talk about “conjugal rights” other than sex.
I sometimes come up with names in my head for things that Sexy Corte does, and she seems to get a kick out of it when I share. In this case, she thought my name was lame (true) and she rechristened the move as the “Double Feature”.
We get a lot of emails with questions and comments — which are great! — but nothing is more gratifying than hearing from readers who have experienced a positive change in their sex lives thanks to our blog.
From Family Feud — the women get every answer wrong. If you like that video, check out “Name something that you put in your mouth but don’t swallow.” The pastor’s wife makes it worthwhile.
Is this site for real? When I started reading I thought it might be a satire like “The Onion”. My wife and I have been best friends and married for more than five decades, and swallow? Pearl necklace? Maybe in my dreams.
We’ve discovered two innovations that combine features from a few of our favorite positions. Before we get into the details, check out these earlier posts for background. Ok, so here are the two innovations that made this post worth writing.
Here’s an easy foreplay idea that can pay off all day long. The husband will remember the experience for as long as the mark lasts on his penis. The mark from a non-toxic watercolor marker will probably wash off in the shower, but that’s ok, it’s easy enough to measure and mark again.
In a healthy, sexual marriage the wife wants her husband to be a “Tender Defender” and the husband wants his wife to be a mix of “Madonna” and “Whore”.
It stems from the porn argument — many men have been conditioned through porn to be aroused by what they’ve seen and that there is an escalating factor as seen by the lack of what you might call vanilla interactions in porn today.
My husband and I have enjoyed your site! Thank you. We’ve been married for ten years and we have two young children. We’re planning to have another baby but we aren’t ready to get pregnant yet, and we’ve been talking about contraception.
In this episode El Fury and Sexy Corte discuss what they’ve learned about sex during their first decade of marriage. If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.
In our marriage we’ve noticed that we have basically four levels of sexual interest, and the level we’re at generally determines how we have sex each day. We believe these interest levels can be a useful tool for communicating with your spouse when he or she isn’t able to read your mind.
Gerad at the blog mission:husband has an insightful post for wives titled 11 Thoughts Out of Your Husband’s Head.
El Fury and I started reading “Sheet Music”. The book starts out describing a married couple that used to have sexual difficulty. The problem was that the wife wanted more sexual variety, and her husband was mis-reading her signals.
Although we’re all living longer, the life expectancy for men remains about five years shorter than for women. We all know about the obvious things a man can do to increase his life expectancy: stay fit, don’t smoke, eat right, and avoid dangerous jobs. But those are boring!
One of the most common types of emails we receive is from a husband who feels sexually rejected by his wife and hopeless. He wants more sex, but feels like his wife isn’t interested and doesn’t love him. Frequent sexual rejection can be devastating to a marriage.
We get a lot of emails from husbands who are frustrated with the quantity and quality of sex in their marriage. I’m writing this post to capture the advice that I generally give in response to these emails. See also: husbands dealing with sexual rejection and how to talk to your spouse about sex.
Want a way to spice up this Christmas season? Why not try making your own adult Advent Calendar? This year El Fury and I cut up 24 strips of paper, and each of us wrote 12 ideas on each one. We are keeping them a surprise and starting December 1st will open a new one each day until Christmas.
Based on emails we receive it seems that many wives sometimes have a difficult time reaching orgasm, which can be frustrating and demoralizing for both spouses. This difficulty can make the husband feel inadequate, and make the wife disappointed, resentful, or even angry.
New research shows that Americans are having less sex than 20 years ago and suggests that the decline might be due in part to improvements in electronic diversions like Facebook and Netflix.
The first half of Proverbs chapter 5 contains warnings against adultery — what will happen if you succumb to temptation. The second half of the chapter, verses 5:15-23 are an exhortation to delight in the joy and sexuality of your marriage.
Your mom was right: posture is important! I love scientific studies that reaffirm the obvious: men and women are both attracted to arched backs. The curve in the spine that allows the lower back to bend inward toward the belly is called lordotic posture.
“The Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most temporal part of time–for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.” — C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters It’s hard to be in the present.
It seems like there’s a lot of interest in bondage these days, and many couples are experimenting with stuff they never would have thought of before.
This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #001: Can We *BLANK*? Are there any sexual limits or boundaries in a Christian marriage? Long-time readers of our blog may not be surprised at the short answer: no! But, of course, there are a few caveats worth discussing.
Have you ever found yourself lying in bed awake in the middle of the night? This happens to me every so often, as well as El Fury. What do you do to get back asleep? Sometimes it feels like you can toss and turn for hours.
The Marriage Bed has a fascinating survey on female orgasm during intercourse with or without clitoral stimulation. As the charts show, most women need clitoral stimulation to climax regularly. I am definitely one of them. I have never had an orgasm with intercourse only.
Even when you have a healthy sex life there are sometimes outside circumstances that can prevent you from coming together with your spouse. El Fury and I recently went through one of these periods.
It can be hard to consistently find time and energy for sex, and yet we know that the best way to have great sex with your spouse is to have more sex. We get a lot of emails from husbands and wives who want more sex, but for all sorts of reasons it just doesn’t happen.
Back in 2016 (!) we wrote about our habit of daily sex, and we recently received an email from a pastor with some questions for us. This email spurred a conversation between me and Sexy Corte that has updated some of our thinking. Background: My wife and I have a solid sex life and marriage.
When Sexy Corte and I go out on a date we usually do dinner plus an activity. (Usually not a movie, because there’s hardly ever anything we want to see.) But for our last date night, instead of an physical activity we decided to focus on each other by having a great conversation.
Alright husbands, let’s talk about basic fitness.
Gerad exhorts husbands specifically: “life” is a marriage killer. He writes: Your marriage goes from “the two of us are the priority”, to “now that we have kids, we can’t be the priority right now”.
Yes, it’s a funny metaphor, but the advice is good: once you’ve boarded the Love Train don’t stop it until you reach the station. Barring emergencies, when you start sexy time with your spouse you’re committed to finishing.
In 3 dyadic studies, we provide evidence that men in established romantic relationships err in the direction of the opposite bias and underperceive their romantic partner’s sexual desire.
I previously wrote about the Harry Potter trivia night we had, wherein I tied Sexy Corte down and asked her trivia questions while I licked and vibrated her. The primary sexual element we used is called edging — a form of orgasm control.
Yet another post about how science indicates that sex is good for you! In this case, a long-term study followed adult men for 18 years and found that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
Athol Kay at Married Man Sex Life has a post up about using active listening to connect with your wife while she decompresses from her day. This is a part of something I call emotional undressing.
We get a lot of emails from married individuals and couples who get along with each other just fine, but don’t have the awesome sex life they long for. What can you do if your marriage has entered the dreaded “friend zone”?
Most people may not realize it, but it takes quite an effort to find header images for our blog posts that aren’t explicit and aren’t exhaustingly overused. I think we’ve mostly been able to avoid fruit and flowers unless the topic of the post requires it!
Several recent studies show that up to 30% of men admit to faking an orgasm with their current partner. The potential for a woman to “fake it” is a common trope, but it’s often ignored that men can fake it, too.
Bonnie Wallace has written a couple of posts with some reasons that husbands and wives don’t feel sexy. Some of them are physical/medical, but most of them are mental/emotional. Even some that appear to be physical are really mental/emotional.
Dr. Cindy M. Meston from the University of Texas at Austin explains that the key to female sexual arousal is excitement, not relaxation. “For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,'” she says.
Having frequent sex throughout a woman’s monthly cycle boosts her immune system and increases the chance of conception. No mention of whether men benefit from more sex, but I’m going to guess yes.
Older guys who get laid regularly have better “brain health” and are less likely to lose memory, according to the Coventry University study.
As you may have noticed, Sexy Corte and I really enjoy creating and playing sexual games. We enjoy games in general, and sex games are great foreplay.
The Bible has a lot to say about giving thanks to God for His blessings in our lives. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
The Generous Husband writes: great sex only comes from frequent sex. Anything more than good sex requires a solid relationship, with trust, love, and real knowledge of each other. It requires time and effort. Incredible sex requires more of the same – probably several years.
Date nights are essential for intimacy and connection, especially after you have kids. It’s fun to go out to dinner, see a movie, go for a hike, or do an escape room — and it can be just as fun (and even more relaxing) to have a stay-date at home after the kids are in bed.
XXX Church has a post with some tips for great sex in your marriage (thanks for the pointer, SC). There’s definitely no shortage of tips on the internet, but here are my top two from this post: For #1, I think twice a week is pretty modest.
If you enjoyed the Adult Advent Calendar and Sexy Jenga, then here’s a new game for you: Hidden Note Sexy Activity Game. Ok, I admit, the name isn’t great… maybe I can come up with something better before I hit “publish”.
I have been slowly reading through the book Sheet Music and it brings up Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” It talks about this verse in regard to sexual rejection. Hope is a powerful thing.
God’s best plan is for people to have amazing sex inside marriage, and zero sex outside marriage. This plan is obviously extremely counter-cultural, and some people even claim it’s impossible “in this day and age” — as if our ancestors were less sexual than we are.
Any suggestions on how to get my wife to shave “down there”? She tried once when we were first married, but she said it itched SO bad that she’d never do it again. I recently read that introducing new activities to your spouse is like “breaking in a horse”.
Some of the most common questions we get are variations of, “how do I talk with my spouse about sex?” So here are a collection of tips, both positive and negative. I won’t elaborate much on each one, but I’m happy to answer questions in the comments.
If you’re a husband like me, then you love giving your wife a huge, body-shaking, scream-inducing orgasm. There’s just about nothing better.
Men often have as much body shame as women do, even though it’s not as acceptable for a man to admit it.
We get this question from readers a lot, so here are a few techniques for delaying the husband’s orgasm. Every man is different, so what works for one may not work for another. These ideas are also no substitute for talking with your doctor if you think you may have a medical issue.
The “husbands” tag will lead you to several posts intended to help husbands be more attractive to their wives, including topics like clothes, muscles, hygiene, and improving her orgasms.
One of the most frequent questions we get is: “How do you find time and energy to have an exciting sex life when you’ve got kids, jobs, church, and everything else going on?” Sit down.
After posting How To Admire Your Husband’s Penis (and the related podcast episode) we received a couple of emails asking for advice on how a husband can admire his wife’s body.
Wives, what’s the worst thing about going out in public? The answer is obvious: when you’re in public, you’re not having sex with your husband. (Unless you are.
Quality is better than quantity. That statement is beneficial in many ways. But what if quantity is the quality? Husbands often view sex through that lens. We get a lot of emails from readers asking about frequency. Men want their wives to have more sex.
This post will share ideas about how to use the happy-ending effect and the peak-end rule to improve your sexual encounters.
We love to hear from readers who have recently expanded or enhanced their sex life with their spouse — especially if our blog was a catalyst for the new experience! But whether it’s because of us or not, please leave a comment below telling about a new sexual experience or accomplishment you’v
We get a lot of email from our readers (thank you!) and there’s nothing more gratifying than hearing from a couple we’ve helped to boost their sex life up to the next level.
El Fury never tires of having his balls licked. It is one of his favorite past times. He often describes his balls as aching for attention, and other than ejaculation, ball-licking is the only thing that can alleviate his discomfort.
“I never grow tired of your sexuality.” El Fury said these words to me a few weeks ago and ever since I’ve been percolating on them. Those words make me feel alive and treasured. God wired us to be sexual and gave us a great gift of sex to be experienced in marriage.
We get a lot of emails from readers asking questions, but I wanted to share an email from Ellie with a list of tips that work for her and her husband. Every marriage is different, but I always find it encouraging to hear from people who have healthy, exciting sex lives.
I’ve heard that for most women, sex starts long before sex actually starts. There are two things that definitely make me anticipate sexy time with El Fury more. Foreplay doesn’t have to be physical to get you in the mood. What do other spouses do to connect outside the bedroom?
El Fury and I have had our share of sex that I would consider outside of the box. We try a lot of different positions, we have done it outside, inside, in public, all over our house, in our car, at night, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the middle of the night. We like toys, games, props.
Chair sex can be pretty fun for a quickie, and you’ve got several positions available.
In addition to exclusive sexual relations, conjugal rights also include affection and companionship, shared property, presumed legitimacy of offspring, co-habitation, domestic and labor services, and affinity with your spouse’s family.
Nothing says “welcome home!” like a warm embrace from your spouse. Travel can be frantic, and if you have to travel for work it can be a stress on your marriage.
We get emails pretty frequently asking, “what is lust?” I’d been working on a post on the topic for a while, but decided to quit when I read this excellent analysis of lust by Jason Staples.
People say it all the time: “it’s only a season”. Seasons come and go. Some are better than others. Rather than wishing time away, we need to learn how to embrace the season we are in. The light parts and the dark.
This probably strikes most wives as a strange topic, but maximizing the quantity of our semen is often a matter of pride and fun for men. What’s the deal? More semen symbolically means more of all these things.
If you begin and end oral sex on your husband with him as hard as a rock, you’re both missing out — oral sex on a relaxed penis is an opportunity for intense pleasure and intimacy! But there’s one obvious problem, right? When a soft penis is stimulated it doesn’t stay relaxed for very long.
We haven’t posted about oral sex in a while, and it’s one of our readers’ favorite topics! This post is motivated by another sexual verse in Paradise Lost (more posts) that clearly refers to Eve’s enjoyment of Adam’s oral proficiency.
I learned something very interesting while listening to a podcast on Delight Your Marriage titled “Understanding the Female Orgasm with Dr. Jessica McCleese”. Oxytocin, which is a chemical your body releases to form bonding during sex, is released at different points for men and women.
I just read the book Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon’s Crazy In Love How-To Manual by Dr. David Clarke. In it he asks a question about “the source of passion in marriage?” The answer is God! God created marriage and even created sex.
For whatever reason, Sexy Corte’s period is often one of the times in her cycle that she is especially amorous, which can obviously lead to frustration for both of us! The topic of period sex probably deserves its own post, but since we don’t have time to write it right now we wanted to share s
Here are some concrete ways for a wife to admire and enjoy her husband’s sexuality. If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.
How and why to have sex first thing in the morning — why leave the best for last? This episode is a dialogue between El Fury and Sexy Corte. If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.
What does the Bible say about sexual openness and adventure within your marriage? How can you become more open and adventurous with your spouse? If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.
We’ve written that your master bedroom is for sex (and part 2) and if you’re like most people, that’s probably where you do it the most. You’ve probably got all your fun sex stuff hidden away in there, ready for action… but maybe you’re missing one thing: a blowjob chair!
This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow Since we posted on the topic of jaw pain during oral sex we’ve received a flood of questions with a similar theme, from both husbands and wives: How do I get my wife to swallow? How do I learn to enjoy swallowing my h
We occasionally receive questions from our readers, and we’re going to start posting some of our answers on the site in this new category. Hello, I need some advice on how to give my husband oral sex so that he eventually ejaculates.
We already know that it’s common for a husband to underestimate his wife’s sex drive — women tend to be a lot more subtle than men, to such an extent that your wife herself might not even know when she’s aroused!
In a completely surprising turn of events, scientists are suggesting that frequent sex may be the key to a happy marriage! During the 14-day study period, couples reported having sex on an average of 4 days.
Would you like to have sex with your spouse all day, but your responsibilities make that seem impossible? We’ve written about daily sex, but sex all day? Well, way back in 2017 Jay Dee wrote that all-day sex is possible for busy married couples, as long as you break the sex up into flexible blocks
Wife “HD” says that despite enjoying sex with her husband, sex is often the furthest thing from her mind. I have a bit of a problem. Growing up, sex was something that I thought/felt was wrong. I didn’t date much mostly because I was afraid of the relationship getting too close to sex.
The holidays are hectic, and doubly so if you’re going on vacation — maybe triple if you’re going to visit family.
Sexy Corte and I like trying new positions, and we’ve found these sex position guides to be useful. (They definitely aren’t safe for work, but I didn’t see any actual nudity.) When it comes to sexual positions, there are a few important things to remember. Remember your purpose.
Here’s another batch of emails we’ve received from our readers recently. If you’ve got a question for us, use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send them over!
It’s time for the mail bag! In a nutshell, my marriage to my wife for now 11 years has never been equal sexually. I have my faults and selfishness but thank The Lord he has healed me and corrected me in so many things over the years. We have 5 kids together and our youngest is 2 now.
Good sir, first want to say thank you for this site. I really appreciate your time and how gentle, yet how firm you are when you respond to people’s questions. One question I have is this: do you feel that it’s ok to swear while having sex? Like dropping the f-bomb when one climaxes.
The doggy style position occupies a prominent place in our mental landscape and carries a lot of different connotations, both positive and negative.
If you need yet another sciencey reason to have more sex consider this: sex releases oxytocin, and oxytocin helps keep you slim. Forget eating salad and pounding on the treadmill – regular sex can help dieters keep slim.
Song of Solomon, chapter 4. In chapter 3 we spied on the Beloved’s dream on the night before her wedding and we saw her reaction to her Lover’s approach on their wedding day. Chapter 4 opens with the Lover’s admiration of his Beloved’s beauty as he arrives at the wedding.
I have been reading through the book “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman. It has been a great read! If you decide to read it, I do recommend reading certain chapters before having sex because some of them are sure to get you in the mood. Dr. Leman has a great chapter on Sexual IQ.
Research confirms that people will say just about anything to get laid and the linked article frames this phenomenon as a form of deception, but I think it’s more useful to view it as enhanced agreeableness and openness.
We’ve linked to some great tools that can help you and your spouse discover new sexual activities that you might enjoy, and today I want to share a game-like tool that will help you and your spouse discover your preference levels for various sexual activities.
Yep, we like making sexy dice games you can enjoy with your spouse! Tonight it’s Sexy Body Part Twister. (Here’s a PDF version.) Not every body part combination is directly sexual (stomach to foot?!) but you’ll have fun touching each other and getting warmed up.
Are you looking for a fun gift idea for your spouse? Surprise them with a sexy scavenger hunt! I recently created this for El Fury’s Christmas present, but it can work for birthdays or any other occasion you want to make your spouse feel loved.
El Fury and I started a list of sexy-time activities. It’s an active list that we add to when we think of something sexual we want to try. The idea is that whenever we are in the mood for something different, we have a plethora of ideas to choose from.
Sleep and sex really seem to complement each other, and not just because you’re likely to do them in the same place. If you want to sleep better and have more and better sex, try sleeping naked and waking up early. First, the health benefits of sleeping naked.
We get emails from people every day who are having problems of various kinds in their marriage, and the simplest, most direct solution is often just have sex.
Lately I have been hearing from more and more women a consistent desire that is burning in their hearts. They want and need their husbands to step up and be a spiritual leader to their family. They are weary of bearing the burden of leadership that they were not created to bear.
Are you ever confused by your own sexual arousal? By what turns you on and when? Or… maybe you’re confused by your spouse.
We touched on this topic several months ago while writing about period sex, but it’s worth highlighting because we get so many questions about oral sex.
Hannah Smothers at Cosmo is mad at husbands who enjoy giving orgasms to their wives. It’s not enough that men are already having more orgasms than women.
Everyone knows that testosterone has a significant effect on men, but many people don’t realize that T levels affect women also. Most women have probably never had their testosterone measured during a routine blood test.
Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior.
Buddy the Elf said “First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can and then we’ll snuggle“. There are few pleasures in life that are greater than snuggling.
I love it when we sleep naked but Sexy Corte isn’t too keen on the idea right now. There are several reasons why she is reluctant to sleep naked, and yet I can’t help but pursue it. (Sexy Corte and I just talked about it this morning, and this post isn’t a passive aggressive note to her!)
In our marriage we’ve noticed that we have basically four levels of sexual interest, and the level we’re at generally determines how we have sex each day. We believe these interest levels can be a useful tool for communicating with your spouse when he or she isn’t able to read your mind.
We’ve been promising to write about enthusiasm for a while, but we’ve been having trouble wrapping our heads completely around it. Basically, our opinion is that enthusiasm is more important than any other single behavior when it comes to having great sex.
In our recent post about the importance of enthusiasm we briefly mentioned responsiveness and promised a follow-up post, so here it goes.
Proverbs is an amazing book, and I’ve made a habit of reading the chapter of the book that corresponds to the day of the month. There are three types of women that are highlighted in Proverbs: the adulterous woman, the quarrelsome wife, and the wife of noble character.
Continuing this series on the women of Proverbs, we come to the nagging and quarrelsome wife. These verses are convicting. Nothing needs to be said on exactly what you are doing when you are nagging or quarreling. You know.
Finally, the Wife of Noble Character, the “Proverbs 31 Woman”, the final part of our series on the women of Proverbs!
As long-time readers know, oral sex is one of the most frequent topics that we get asked about by both husbands and wives — specifically about a wife performing oral sex on her husband.
Sexy Corte and I have been inching our way through the Harry Potter movies in the evenings after the kids go to bed. We both enjoy the movies and the books, but SC is a super-fan.
A little while ago El Fury did a post on How to Help Your Wife Orgasm. I think he made all great points, but there is one thing I would add. Time of day. This can also link back to communication, but I think it’s important to mention.
It really turns me on when Sexy Corte goes down on me during or after we’ve been having vaginal sex — it’s even more intimate than standard oral sex. It’s not that the physical sensations are any different on their own, but it feels naughty and edgy — even a little dirty.
I was recently in a conversation with other women and we were talking about dating before marriage. One remembered seeking advice from a counselor about how far was “too far” to go before being married.
We get many emails with variations on the question: how can I my spouse and I be more sexually spontaneous? Ironically, a little preparation can help! Put some lube and wet wipes in your purse, and you’ll be ready for spontaneity any time.
When we got married I surprised Sexy Corte with a set of Liberator wedge pillows (which were, at the time, on sale at Amazon). I think she was skeptical at first, but in the years since we’ve gotten a lot of use out of them.
In Level-Up Your Sex Life we wrote that based on the emails we receive, the top request from wives is to have more orgasms, and the top request from husbands is to get more blowjobs.
For several years that most popular post on our site has been “Yes, You Should Swallow”. It is the most-viewed individual post, and even though it’s old it still attracts a lot of comments.
When your spouse asks what you want sexually, do you give a safe answer because you aren’t sure how he or she will respond to the full truth? Paul Byerly writes this with regards to husbands specifically, but the same is true for wives.
Yes please! We’ve just started playing Civilization V together cooperatively against the computer, and SC is pretty into it. It’s similar to strategy board games she enjoys but the setup and tear-down is easier.
Many readers have told us that our post about Spontaneous and Responsive Sexuality has been eye-opening, but what if neither you nor your spouse is sexually spontaneous? What if you’re both responsive? First, let’s remind ourselves of what spontaneous and responsive sexuality are.
Roll a six-sided die twice and consult the tables. Use the “Even” table is your first roll is even, and the “Odd” table if your first roll is odd.
Two Salvation Army officers wrote to the organization’s founder, evangelist William Booth, expressing frustration and discouragement with the ongoing failure of their ministry and requesting his permission to shut it down. General Booth replied with a two-word telegram: “Try tears.”
Desire for a woman ebbs and flows in tune with her cycle. It can be hard enough for a woman to know what sort of “mood” she is in, let alone for her husband to be able to determine if she wants an orgasm or not. Here are some ways that I figure it out: Pay attention to yourself.
Follow us on Twitter! All Christian sex bloggers eventually get around to the question: should a wife swallow her husband’s semen? As usual, the answer is “if she wants to”.
Sexy Corte and I have a lot of married friends who are shocked and surprised when they learn that we always lock our bedroom door at night. It seems that most of our peers not only keep their doors unlocked, but often sleep with their doors open or with their kids in the sex bed! This is wrong.
In addition to El Fury’s post about the Master Bedroom being the Sex Room, I wanted to add a few other thoughts. There are other ways in which we make this room our Sex Room. Having nightstands with drawers gives us a lot of concealed storage for various sex props.
Maybe you look like Michelangelo’s David or maybe you “do the best with what you’ve got” — either way, the time and energy you invest into health and fitness can pay off in your marriage. Obviously there’s more to a good marriage than fitness, but fitness is the topic of this post.
One of the most gratifying aspects this blog is when we get feedback from a couple whose marriage has benefited from something we wrote. As follow-up to this post about swallowing, in the comments to this Q&A about swallowing and enjoying it, “K” writes:
There’s an attention-grabbing headline! Of course, “skinny” isn’t really optimal, and whatever can be said for wives can be said for husbands, too. Let’s see what Ginny Hartley says.
Men often wonder what an orgasm feels like for women — there’s no way to directly share the experience, but the frenulum of a man’s penis apparently has very similar nerve endings to those in a woman’s clitoris. What’s a frenulum, you ask?
Whenever the concept of marital duties is brought up, it’s inevitable that the red herring of rape or “forced sex” is thrown out in response.
Lookin’ at you, men. Blowjobs are like a gift from heaven, wouldn’t you say? What if we told you that women also feel the same for when you go down on them? Spoiler: they do.
Would you ever turn down a blowjob? I’m going to go ahead and assume that you wouldn’t. That would be straight-up crazy if you did.
Touch starvation refers to the longing for touch or physical contact from other living beings. It typically occurs when a person experiences little to no physical contact for a prolonged amount of time.
Many women self-identify as low-libido or just not that sexual, when the reality is that their lack of sexual experience may be giving them the wrong impression.
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten (Dr. Psych Mom) As I discuss often, men who want more sex are often actually trying to express more love to their partner. The majority of men express love via touching and sex.
If you enjoy going down on the woman in your life, there's a good chance she wants to return the favor.
Would you rather, but make it sexy. Now that’s an article I can get behind. To be honest, 'would you rather' questions are a fantastic way to connect with someone new or to get the fire going with someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a long time.
Couples who experience an affair in their marriage often feel as if their very foundation was destroyed. The revelation of an affair is a traumatic event and healing takes a long time.
I’d like to preface this article by stating that this article is intended to focus on the needs and roles of men in marriage. Women have important needs in marriage, but that is not the focus of this article. Laura Schlessinger wrote a controversial book called The Care and Feeding of Husbands.
Note: Given the recent discussions about Revoice–a conference at which I am speaking–I asked Jake if he would republish the two chapters from my first book that are directly on questions of sexual desire.
Today I’m thrilled to have author and marriage blogger Sheila Gregoire as my guest in the “Spring Clean Your Marriage” series. See her bio below to find out more about her, as well as where to connect with her on social media. We’ve all been there.
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
In most marriages, there is a “higher drive spouse” (HDS) and a “lower drive spouse” (LDS). If this doesn’t apply to your marriage, you can safely disregard this post. In most cases, the Husband is the HDS, and the wife is the LDS, but this is becoming more and more not the case.
Ok, I know a lot of wives read my blog, even though it’s geared toward the husbands. I often wondered why, until I had several female readers comment and send me emails saying “I love your blog, because it helps me understand what’s going on in my husband’s brain.
I’ve always had a sweet tooth. I think my mom would say I had a whole mouth full of them, when I was growing up. Nerds, Skittles, Gummy Worms, Now and Later – you name it, I would eat it.
Last week Benjamin (he’s 5), asked his dad to bring me home flowers from him. (He does this every once in a while. For my birthday he gave his dad very specific instructions on what type of flowers to buy me. He wanted pink roses.
I am not a psychologist.* I’m merely an internal processor married to an external processor. But I think I might have some insight that can help you with your marriage if you’re a different kind of processor than your spouse.
Having sex in marriage is important. Necessary. Crucial. Women need sex to feel emotionally connected. Men need sex to feel loved and desirable.
It goes without saying that men are visual creatures. We know that “sex sells,” and one of the main reasons for that is because men are visual. It is not women who are usually buying sex, so to speak.
Sex is rad…as God designed it. My daughter is six-years old and full of questions. Why, how, huh? All day long. In her questioning, she has inevitably asked me about sex.
People write me about one topic more than other: Sex. It seems that many of us aren’t having the kind of sex life we imagined we would once we were married. It seems that more of us are having a lot less sex than we ever expected.
It’s He Said/She Said Wednesday again, which means it’s time to talk about two of my favorite subjects: men and women. Today, though, is going to get a little saucy, as I am tackling the issue of sex. The Church and sex have a long and checkered past.
Over the last year, I’ve had numerous husbands email me and share with me their heartbreaking, if not tragic, sex life stories.
This is a guest post from none other than my hubster, Jonathan, in follow-up to last week’s first-parter. It’s a doozy. Well I’m glad to know that my wife doesn’t think I’m a pervert.
As you grow, many boys will enter your years. They will speak words of love and passion, of wanting you–all of you. Their sex will be lacking.
I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does. Today was a stressful day.
Is it permitted for married Christians to have oral sex with each other? This is just one of many questions that people have regarding sex in the life of a Christian. Some believe that sex is only for reproduction and therefore, any sex without that motive is considered sinful.
What happens when a wife consistently rejects her husband, whether she is doing it on purpose or not? Of course, rejection hurts, but it is much worse in a relationship where they promised to love each other and enter the intimate relationship of marriage.
When we think of a person with an avoidant attachment style, we think about the proverbial bachelor or bachelorette, who is in no hurry to “settle down”, doesn’t really know what he or she wants, and tends to live a life characterized by sensation-seeking and risk-taking.
But US author Brittany Gibbons set time to have sex with her husband every night for a whole year — yep, 365 days. She said it didn’t divorce-proof her relationship but it boosted her confidence.
When I am in a rut I pray, listen to podcasts, reach out to a really close friend that I trust., but many times it doesn't bother me because sex is not always on my mind. I think it is normal to believe that our sex life and marital matters should stay between only the husband and wife.
This is the viral list of 101 Ways to Respect Your Husband – everyone loves lists, right? “Just give me a list of things I can do…” they tell me. So here it is.
If you’ve ever wondered if you and your partner will be in it for the long haul, a therapist has revealed the sign that will give you the answer. And it has nothing to do with your chemistry in the bedroom or your family’s approval.
How many times have you seen a blowjob in film or television featuring the Giver kneeling at the foot of a bed, while the Receiver sits and chills? The Kneeling Position is absolutely an option, but blowjobs have a secret life you may not know about: BJs are a super versatile sex act with lots of po
There are many different ways people can view life and our perspective will determine both our attitude and the decisions we make. People can be pessimists, fatalists, escapists, optimists, idealists, or realists.
Physical intimacy is considered a great part of the marital relationship. It fosters emotional intimacy, creates a deeper level of bond and communication.
When was the last time you and your spouse took off all your clothes just to cuddle? Cuddling naked can seem like a simple act of connection, but the benefits affect your marriage in many ways—from emotional intimacy to sexual intimacy and beyond.
We are the co-authors of the Amazon best seller, 7 Days of Sex Challenge book. We believe that the healthy combination of sex, love, and commitment is more than the foundation of a strong marriage… it’s the glue that will keep a marriage together.
Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today! In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful.
Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage? In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful.
There are many stories about husbands and wives reigniting their relationship after they have been on the edge of divorce, loss of a child, financial stresses, and the decrease in sexual intimacy after children.
Of course healthy spouses are happy spouses. Sleeping naked has been scientifically proven to improve health. Being close to your spouse and cuddling while you sleep is actually beneficial your health.
Any married person is familiar with sexual intimacy. It’s amazing, essential to connection, and an expected part of marriage. On the other hand, you’ve probably heard of emotional intimacy and yet you're probably not as familiar with that term. What is emotional intimacy?
Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today! In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful.
Having sex tonight or not, may have more to do with how you ask than anything else. Desire is important, but asking for sex in a way that will be received by your wife is the real challenge. The goal is to make your desire for intimacy known in a way that doesn’t completely turn her off.
Change is a huge theme that we talk about on our blog.
“What? You haven’t had sex in over a year?” That is exactly what I am thinking every time I read comments like this. Here are some other comments we have seen as well: (these are paraphrased for privacy.) “My wife and I have not had sex in almost two months.
I’m excited to have as my guest today Chris, from “The Forgiven Wife,” to help kick off a new series called “Rekindling and Reclaiming Sex in Marriage.
Not long ago, our church’s Wednesday night speaker deceived us. It was a betrayal of bait-and-switch proportions. Before I go on, let me be clear, I am not disputing the sin of lust and objectification.
Zinc is also important for testosterone production. See my previous post, Oysters & Sauerkraut, Testosterone is biochemical nectar promoting sexual craving. This got me to thinking. Aphrodisiacs are substances, like food or medicine, which positively affect libido.
Anne Atwell joins us again, today. She’s a high sex-drive wife who has agreed to share insight with other ladies who may quietly struggle with being the higher drive spouse. To read Anne’s first installment, see: “I’m Not Supposed To Love Sex, Right?”
Sexual objections aren’t any different from other kinds of objections we have in life. No amount of persuading is as effective as an attitude shift. Here’s how an acquaintance completely changed my perspective on overcoming objections.
When “I Love My High Drive Sisters,” published there was positive reaction from my high drive readers. Why would a low-libido blog have high drive readers? High drive wives have a tough time finding their virtual community, so they land here in desperation because I deal with libido.
Contemplate your sensual natures, ladies. “Giving Yourself Permission,” means allowing your heart and physical nature to open up to the possibility of POSITIVE sensual experiences. The shape and form this sensuality takes is different for each woman.
I love God’s Design of Sex “…male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it,’……God saw all that he had made and it was very good…” Genesis 1:27-31.
“Because he makes me laugh,” is one of the most common responses for why we fall in love. I love to laugh and wanted to laugh with my prat-falling, pun-meister, Dave, for the rest of our lives. I gasped, then laughed, the moment I first met Dave and he didn’t say a word.
by | | Bonny's Journey, Improve Married Sex, Low Libido Wife, Low Sex Drive, Prayer, Promote Love Of Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Intimacy, Spiritual Intimacy Whenever the topic of sex came out of his mouth, it was like he became Vladimir Putin. All I heard was Russian manipulation.
You might have landed on this blog because a phrase like this is running through your mind. Interested in our backstory? Here are some pertinent links. Sex: the problem or the solution? Miserable Marriage/Magical Marriage Bonny’s Bio
The whole reason this blog is in existence is because Dave and I survived over a decade of mismatched sex drives. I say, “Survived!” because at times it felt like a war. What’s a mismatched sex drive? Basically, one spouse wants to make love with a whole lot more frequency than the other.
I reluctantly embraced exercise and the only reason is because I was in a downward spiral. My lifestyle had to change. I felt miserable physically. With three teenage sons under one roof and a marriage that needed some repair, I coped through food/alcohol and mindless television.
The crimson pomegranate is an elegant fruit describing the sensual in the Song of Solomon. God involves truth in all of his words. Sometimes, the truth has a physical element.
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And I lean toward the scientific side. When my libido did a Houdini and disappeared, I wondered whether I’d ever again physically yearn for sex and questioned why a libido was necessary? I went as far to question why sex was even necessary.
Speaking a person’s “love language,” is also known as making “deposits into the love bank.” It’s an action that helps your mate feel cherished and in turn creates a bond where they crave to reciprocate for you.
Have you noticed I’ve transitioned from focusing on low libido to focusing on growing your sexual interest? It wasn’t anything I did intentionally. It was natural evolution.
The simple and sneaky exercise called a “kegel” is a key player in sexual arousal and orgasm enhancement. In 1948, Dr. Arnold Kegel, a California gynecologist, developed a treatment for urinary incontinence that is known today simply as a “kegel.
My husband is more affectionate than me. That’s not to say he is less manly or not masculine because of his affection. He simply is better at showing his love in physical ways than I am. Showing my warmth takes practice.
Lynn and her husband, Dan, have been married for 20 years and their youngest son is leaving for college in the fall. Over the years, between busy careers and kids’ extracurricular activities, Lynn and Dan just kind of . . . drifted.
Not long ago, someone we know got engaged via a multi-stage, elaborate proposal that had clearly taken an immense amount of thought and effort. A mutual friend, upon hearing the story, told him, “Good job. Only 9,999,999 tests left to go.
Although this article is for women, I’m sure some astonished men are looking in, and asking, “What do you mean why you should initiate sex?!” To guys, the answer is completely obvious! It reminds me of that line from the movie City Slickers when Billy Crystal’s character tells his friend,
Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud: 1. “I need to feel desirable.” We women may think sex is just a physical need for a guy, but that’s not most of what is going on.
Ladies, if you could improve your relationship with your man by applying a few simple truths, would you? Seriously: think about that question.
Ladies, have you been wishing your husband were more Prince Charming and a little less Homer Simpson lately? Been daydreaming that someday he would plan a special evening for just the two of you? But then is your next thought, “He doesn’t even care”?
There are two types of people in the world: those with the quick zinger and the envious wannabes. I’ve always wished I was more quick-witted at pulling out the perfect sarcastic remark when joking with my friends.
During my time as a couples therapist, the most common complaint I’ve heard is about a decrease in sexual intimacy and differences in the degree of sexual desire between partners. This lack of passion in an intimate relationship can cause partners to believe that they have fallen out of love.
I love that social science now regularly disproves this long-held belief of our culture: that if you are very unhappy in your marriage, it’s better to be realistic and just move on. Because there is very little chance that you will eventually be very happy together.
My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market.
I’ve been married for 15 years, and my wife is a great mom, a great wife, and my best friend. I feel like things are going great. My wife, on the other hand, has started telling me that we’ve “settled” for a mediocre marriage.
As a newlywed, Terri stumbled across an aspect of marriage that she just couldn’t figure out. Well, actually, it was really her new husband Wade that she couldn’t figure out. Terri is a curious person; she likes to ask questions and talk things through.
Yes, the idea is scary for many women! But in 12 years of researching the things our husbands wish we knew but don’t know how to say, I heard the heart behind this wish – and saw five surprising reasons to take the risk. So… try it.
I can hardly write this, I’m so upset by one of your columns. You shared that it was important for a woman to “take care of herself” for her husband, and that it was “the effort that mattered” not the results.
You’re the researcher, so please tell me the real answer: How often do guys need to have sex? I just don’t think about sex much; I guess it isn’t a need for me. But my husband says he thinks about it all the time, and he gets crabby that I’m often too tired.
As Leslie settled into bed, more than ready for a good night’s sleep, Todd walked into the bedroom and gave her “the look” she knew so well—the sly grin and twinkle in his eye that meant he had romance on his mind. Leslie tried not to let a sigh slip out.
In my research with thousands of men for For Women Only, I discovered that the things that light your man up—and the things that hurt him—are quite different from those that would do the same for women.
Guys, is your wife constantly encouraging—or even nagging—you to take better care of yourself? I recently heard from a man who thought he was doing a decent job in that area.
This article is part of our August and September 2018 Guest Blog series.
Matt and Jessie never used to fight, but there have been a lot of arguments, or almost-arguments, the last few months. Matt is on the verge of losing his job due to a restructuring at his company, and they have three kids under the age of five.
One of the most controversial topics I address with women is one of the clearest findings from my anonymous nationally-representative surveys of men for books like For Women Only. Ready to hear it?
He’s an involved dad. He’s respected at church. People come to him for advice. He’s an all-around great guy but more and more often he seems to transform into “Mister Grumpy” when he gets home. Either small things seem to upset him, or he easily becomes withdrawn – or both.
Your co-worker just made you so mad. Or maybe it was your husband who said something insensitive this morning. Or your teenager who rolled her eyes when you asked her to empty the dishwasher. Again. You feel like a pot ready to explode, so you just need to let off a little steam.
“If I had heard this a few years ago, I wouldn’t be divorced today.” I can’t tell you how often I have heard that phrase. Most recently last weekend, after the worship services at a mega church in the Midwest.
My wife is constantly nagging me about taking care of myself, but I feel like I’m doing a good enough job where that is concerned.
If you’re reading this, I can tell you two things about yourself. First: You think you’re a kind person. Kindness matters to you. You work at being kind, and you do not like the unkindness of others, or how harsh our culture has become.
Whether you want to improve a difficult marriage or celebrate a great one, I’ve seen in all the research — especially for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages — that one of the best possible things you can do is to ask yourself: How did I meet my spouse and fall in love to begin w
Ladies, if there were a reality TV show like “What NOT to Wear,” but for relationships, these three things would be at the top of the list for “What NOT to say to your man.” Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve actually said all these things at one point! You’ve probably said them, too.
So, guys, you’ve just had a big fight with your wife and now you’re ready to cool off and mend the relationship. What better way to make up than to spend a little intimate time together, right? Just one little problem, though: physical intimacy is the farthest thing from her mind.
According to Deborah, her husband Marcus has an anger problem, and she doesn’t know how to handle it. They’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away.
I recently heard from a newlywed who was already experiencing some bumps in her marriage. Marnie and her husband Nate had gone on a ski weekend with her family that went far from smoothly. Marnie had grown up skiing, so she and her siblings couldn’t wait to get out on the advanced slopes.
Wives, does your husband want sex…again? It’s not just a physical need — it’s also about emotions. Here are three things he’s not saying out loud when he comes to you for sex: 1. “I need to feel desirable.
Men, have you ever had a date with your wife take a turn for the worse and you didn’t know why? You’d probably both been looking forward to date night, with some time away from the kids and a special outing planned.
Passionate lovemaking originated within the mind of God to bless you and make your life easier. To help you accomplish the three purposes for your creation, God designed special hormones of love to be released during frequent, ecstatic lovemaking.
I have talked about “the respect knob” in past posts long ago, specifically referring to the idea that we don’t want to turn up the “volume” of our showing respect too high for men to whom we are not married. I want to elaborate a bit more on this idea.
My hands shook as I poured a glass of tea and my voice trembled when I spoke: “So… in my marriage…” I almost choked on the words launched into a circle of women I barely knew. Women older than me, married ten, fifteen, thirty years to my three.
Is it “dirty” to dress up for your husband in the bedroom? Is it wrong to m********e if your husband can’t have sex? What if your spouse asks you to do something that makes you uncomfortable? Dr. Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow answer your questions from our Authentic Intimacy inbox.
We want to help pursuers get what they need and then take it into their hearts when it finally comes their way. We know there can be mistrust when a withdrawer at first tries to understand and meet the pursuer's need.
Pursuers get exhausted. After trying everything... talking, begging, holding back their needs, getting angry... sometimes they just give up. When Pursuers become Withdrawers, the relationship is in trouble. Join sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about…
We always talk about sexual Pursuers and Withdrawers—those who seek sex and those who withdraw from it. Because sexual Pursuers are usually the sexual initiator, they are often facing rejection. Over time they become anxious about initiating.
This week it is Average Jane's turn! Join sex therapist and author Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about what the sexual experience for an average woman is and how to improve their sex life! Check out our sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon Foreplay!
Love. Relationships. Marriage. Such powerful words that evoke meaning and emotion, hopes and dreams, memories, and heartache. Marriage is a culturally recognized union involving a legal, economic, emotional, and physical partnership.
God loves sex. The first two commands recorded in the Bible are “have dominion over creation,” and then “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:26-28). In other words, rule the world and have lots of sex. Not a bad day at the office.
Ahhh, the joys of a long-term relationship: Comfort, loyalty...and a sort-of-stale sex life. Not so fast. Staying together for the long haul doesn't necessarily mean action in the bedroom has to suffer. In fact, knowing each other so well can actually make things even hotter in that arena.
Let's face it: Sex is one of the first things to go in a long-term relationship, even before couples quit saying "excuse me" after belching and picking up their smelly socks.
Three months ago, I was driving to work and listening to an episode of ONE Extraordinary Marriage podcast.
Sue Bohlin provides us a succinct Christian perspective on human sexuality. She points out that God created sex and has a purpose for it defined within the context of marriage.
I have a question. In Matthew 5:27ff. Jesus says that if a man lusts after a woman he has already committed adultery in his heart. Then, in v. 32 Jesus indicates that sexual immorality is the only justification for divorce.
I read this in your article about God’s plan for sex in marriage and I need some clarification.
Fighting with a partner is one of those unpleasant parts of a relationship that we wish wouldn’t happen.
Gender norms in heterosexual relationships dictate that men are responsible for desiring women and initiating sex while feeling desired themselves is relatively unimportant.
Men's sexual overperception bias-where men tend to perceive greater sexual interest in women's behavior than actually exists-is a well-documented finding in previous research.
I don’t think insightful people always have all the right answers, but really, the right questions. When someone asks me a question I would never ask myself, they are doing something God can use to change me.
Studies show that married sex is better, especially if you are religious. According to MSN and Good Housekeeping, married couples have less things to stress about because of the security found within marriage.
There is nothing like the feeling of having my lover deep inside my throat, though I have found, to my surprise, that many women despise orally pleasuring their man.
Q: I really hate giving oral sex — I just can't get over the "ick" factor. Is it really that important? A: To most men, it is important. If there's one thing men say they don't get enough of, it's blow jobs.
When it comes to health and wellness trends and gimmicks, I consider myself a professional lab rat on board with anything short of amputating a limb.
Happy Thanksgiving! Today is a day that we can focus on how much we have to be thankful for. It is also a day that can create serious family drama. Holidays are challenging for some families.
Does the thought of with your partner bring you outside of your comfort zone? Do you feel really awkward talking about sex? Mark and Amy decide to seek help. They go online to www.relationshipsandlove.org and sign up for the Rekindle the Spark – Save Your Marriage program.
It always strikes me as funny when I hear Gen Xers bad mouth millennials (which seems to happen on the regular). My peers forget the early ’90s when we were seen as the world’s entitled-jerk generation. We’re just lucky that social media didn’t exist while we were the world’s scapegoats.
You know your marriage is stable when you can have sexually oriented conversations with your spouse.
Is there a terrific way to introduce the sex talk to your child? Every parent is faced with the challenge, though every parent does not think about sex the same way. I suspect if you brought the talk up to a group of adults, there would be a mixed bag of responses.
Why try new and sexy games as a couple? We all know how bad it can be for your relationships if things get even a little stale or boring. You start getting nitpicky with each other and resentment (that’s not rooted) can even stir up.
The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology did a study recently. It found that husbands started sex about 60% of the time. In only 30% of cases, wives took the lead. The other 10% represented a balance between the sexes, although it seemed to be hard for everybody.
In the Bible, God gives us the definition of intimacy with Him. He addresses the various forms of intimate exchanges also. As it turns out, there’s more than one way to feel closeness and familiarity with another person. His design is undoubtedly rich with opportunities to love and be loved.
Marriage intimacy is essential. Studies show that couples who have sex often generally stay together for longer. Meanwhile, intimacy in marriage is about more than making love. So, how do you handle it when your love cup overflows?
WELCOME TO ROMANTIC BLESSINGS “"Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Did you know that there’s such a thing as “touch starvation?” Your mind, body, and soul actually require skin-to-skin contact from the time you’re born until the day you die. That crucial connection is vital to your mental, physical, and emotional health as well.
Being honest about your sexual fantasies is usually a challenge, especially if you want something extra kinky. You may fear rejection, ridicule, or worse. But the truth is that your spouse probably has some fantasies of their own. And you can’t throw stones when you live in a glass house.
I’m waiting till I’m married to have sex. That’s probably not the first thing you were expecting to read when you bashfully looked over both shoulders and clicked on this link, but it’s true.
So I wrote this blog a few days ago. It got kind of popular.
In my house, a blowjob is a near-daily occurrence. Now, before you click furiously away in a fit of rage, let me explain the most important factor in this, in all caps so you know I’m serious: HE DOES NOT, NOR WOULD HE EVER, EXPECT THIS.
Romantic attraction is a complicated thing that scientists still don't completely understand. But, through research and experimentation, they've come up with many ideas about what draws one person to another.
We've all heard that it's better to give than to receive. Now there's empirical evidence to show that being compassionate to a spouse is rewarding in and of itself.
Judges were Israel’s primary rulers for almost three-and-a-half centuries. They also commanded armies, making them some of Scripture’s strongest leaders. So why did Deborah serve as judge? Her position is often the first mentioned to support female leadership.
How far does submission extend? Is there anything to which a wife should not submit? Are all women required to submit to all men? Does submission mean men can do whatever they like to their wives? What about physical or mental abuse? In any discussion of submission, some obvious and legitimate quest
But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
A few years ago I learned the important lesson that marriage is a reflection of our relationship with Christ. Katie and I faced the biggest crisis of our marriage. I started pastoring Woodland Christian Church when it was fairly small. Within three years the congregation had tripled in size.
The most common complaint I hear from wives is, “My husband won’t lead spiritually.” Here’s part of a message I received recently that captures the problem: I’m really struggling trying to get my husband to lead.
We must learn to handle marriage problems that inevitably arise. Following are six marriage counseling tips for healthy, joyful relationships. Our frustrations with our spouse can actually increase as we become more familiar with the Bible! Since the standard set by God’s Word is so high:
Unfortunately, when it comes to marriage we often feel alone. God’s standard for husbands and wives is so high that we ask, “Who is going to help me obey these commands? What about the marriage problems we face?”
If you are an American, I have bad news for you. You may have more trouble with submission than most people. Submission is considered not only un-American but downright anti-American.
Before discussing how husbands mistreat their wives, let’s first give husbands motivation that will discourage them from doing so. There are two important reasons husband should avoid mistreating their wives:
An examination of basic leadership structures makes clear submission is an important principle in every area of human interaction. Marriage is no different, which is why wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. No organization can be successful without authority or headship:
Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18 commands, “Wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord,” and Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord,” and 1 Peter 3:1 commands, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so
A few years ago, Carl’s Jr. ran an ad featuring the late Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy. As the commercial begins, Hefner wears his infamous red robe, holds a juicy cheeseburger, and describes himself as the luckiest man in the world.
Sex can be as important as any meeting. Here's why I swear by scheduling sex as a sexologist and sex coach.
1. Don’t dichotomize your spiritual and sexual life. Sex in marriage is a wonderful gift to be nurtured and enjoyed. Growing sexually with your husband is a godly pursuit.
Not some sex, but a lot of sex. Dirty sex. Illicit sex. Sex in public places. (I'll spare you the details.) Then I got married-but we were still having sex. Then I got pregnant-and we stopped having sex. Then I became a mother-try to have sex with me, and I will cut you.
Not long ago, someone we know got engaged via a multi-stage, elaborate proposal that had clearly taken an immense amount of thought and effort. A mutual friend, upon hearing the story, told him, “Good job. Only 9,999,999 tests left to go.
Although this article is for women, I’m sure some astonished men are looking in, and asking, “What do you mean why you should initiate sex?!” To guys, the answer is completely obvious! It reminds me of that line from the movie City Slickers when Billy Crystal’s character tells his friend,
We live in a “you do you” culture, where individuality is prized and independence is cultivated. But when too much independence is carried over into marriage, it can create walls between spouses.
How can I get my wife to understand how important sex is to me? by Jackie Coleman 1. Being romantic just to get sex will be seen as manipulative. 2. Hinting at your desires will most likely push her further away. 3. Not doing anything about it will make you resentful.
How do I respect him when he doesn’t love me? By Jackie Coleman Monterey, California, Tuesday evening, 6:30 p.m. · Tires screech into the driveway, and the garage door slams shut.
Hey guys, here’s a heads-up: Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. You might already be well aware of that and have been wracking your brain trying to come up with something extra special to give your wife this year.
After hearing yet another variation on the “not tonight, dear, I have a headache,” Dan turned over and tried to go to sleep.
The morning had gotten away from Liz—it was 11:00 am and she was still in her robe and slippers. But two loads of laundry were done, the kids were fed and dressed, and the bills were ready to go out in the mail.
My wife and I are making a concerted effort to improve our marriage. Although she is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives me crazy at how negative she’s become over 12 years together. She is often critical about the most insignificant things.
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A few months ago, I was very frustrated with our old home WIFI router. Videos constantly froze, emails wouldn’t send, and audio dropped in and out. After we stopped being able to send and receive messages properly, we got a new router. But it didn’t really help.
Ladies, if YOU are the one with the stronger sex drive, here’s expert hope and help! Hi everyone. I’m thrilled to share a series of three important guest articles by nationally-recognized sex therapist Dr.
I recently heard from a newlywed who was already experiencing some bumps in her marriage. Marnie and her husband Nate had gone on a ski weekend with her family that went far from smoothly. Marnie had grown up skiing, so she and her siblings couldn’t wait to get out on the advanced slopes.
Tip #55: Wives: Learn and relate to the man your husband is, not who you think he “should” be.
If you’re turned off by the “submissive” word in the title, trust me, I GET IT. Keep reading. (Disclaimer: I’m not a perfect wife and quite often a very crummy one. I’m also not a marriage counselor or expert on submissive marriage. I’m simply sharing what’s worked for me.)
Oral sex can hold a lot of weight in a relationship between two people. It’s not an issue if you both like getting and receiving it, of course.
Marriage is hard. You have two sinners who have their own agenda, with their own expectations. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Are you tolerating a sexless marriage? Sex is a normal, natural part of every marriage and as such, persistent, on-going differences in levels of sexual desire between spouses is frequently an indicator of bigger issues.
We have young kids, and often I’m so exhausted that I just want to go to sleep without my husband trying to start something.
Since sex is so important to my husband, and since you say it’s really about a man feeling desired by his wife, what can I do to get engaged and interested instead of just “accommodating” him? I know that just “going along with it” would be pretty depressing for him.
We all come into marriage with expectations. We women have expectations of romance, lots of cudldes, and the sharing of chores. Your husband had the expectation of lots of sex.
In her book “Highly Happy Marriages,” Shaunti Feldhahn, Harvard-trained social researcher, wife and mom, shares surprising findings from interviews and surveys on what makes marriages happy. Usually small things, not in-laws, kids and money, determine mutual daily happiness.
Did you know that every marriage struggles with communication? But did you also know the couples that were unclear of their roles in marriage fought the most?
This is an older post from 2014. It will not be one for everyone…but since I am working on another post in the same vein as this one I figured I would reshare this. This post is after a conversation I had with a friend of mine.
Sex is a big issue in a lot of marriages. No surprise there, right?
SAVE THIS PIN FOR LATER! Marriage advice… for wives? I smile as I reflect on almost 18 years of marriage. Since this is a site authored by a Christian counselor, you would think I would write marriage advice from the perspective of therapist. But no.
"Do or do not. There is no try." Yes, the headline is intentionally provocative. Stay with me while I explain why you might need to quit trying in your marriage. Trust me, I'm not talking about reaching for the escape hatch. Actually, it is quite the opposite.
I'm excited to share with you a guest post by my lovely wife, Jenni. Although the post is mostly slanted toward wives in the "empty nest" stage of marriage, the insights she shares can be applied to any life stage.
Your spouse doesn't just want more sex, he or she wants more of you. How much sex is enough sex? Who gets to decide? Is compromise the best strategy? Which matters more: quantity or quality? What constitutes a good sex life? What about the whole high drive/low drive thing?
7 ways to be more fully engaged during lovemaking. We are in the middle of a Gift of Sex series that started back here.
It's not high drive vs. low drive. It's the two of you, as one, battling for intimacy in your marriage. We're exploring the ways you can give your spouse The Gift Of More as part of our Gift of Sex series. Let me set up this post by reminding you of an important principle from my last post.
Stuck for what to give your spouse for Christmas? How about the gift of a better sex life? I'll admit it. I love the Christmas season. Christmas decorations. Christmas music. Christmas trees. Christmas cookies. All of it. Well, I love almost all of it.
Do you remember being engaged and thinking, "we are going to get to see each other all the time when we are married! I can't wait."
“Would you rather be single and lonely or married and bored?” So asks one well-known comedian. From the world’s perspective, these are the choices when it comes to marriage and relationships.
This is another post inspired by a business idea shared by Seth Godin. Today Encouragement and reassurance, in which Seth says “reassurance always runs out.” However, encouragement says Seth, “means that someone sees us, understands us and believes in us.
My thinking for this post was sparked by Sex Homework: Hard Habit to Break on the blogging dangerously blog. (Not a Christian blog, explore at your own risk.) I totally agree that when we focus on something we tend to do it more, do it better, and enjoy it more.
Many men’s sexual reality is asking their wife for sex three, five, or ten times to have it once. When I talk about her having responsive desire they hear that as saying her refusal is just how she is. And some understandably say “That’s can’t be what God intended!“
RELEVANT Magazine recently published an article entitled Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex. I have some serious problems with what Rachel Pietka says in the article. I usually refrain from beating up on what others write, but this issue is important and I feel letting it go is wrong.
I’ve seen it said that a good marriage is the enemy of a great marriage (for example, How to go from good to great in marriage ) and I couldn’t agree more. The issue is risk aversion. Studies have found that most people go for the lower risk option even if the “pay-off” is lower.
Earlier this week I did several posts based on a study that asked people what makes their romantic relationships difficult. The category of bad sex was number seven for men and number ten for women. This sounds about right.
How do you start each day with your wife? I know the morning can be crazy. You’re tired, you have to get out the door, something always goes wrong, and if you have kids that’s a whole extra level of crazy.
“We can’t win the game from the bleachers. We’ll never succeed unless we get out on the field and go for it.
This is a follow-up on yesterday’s post, and more specifically some of the comments and emails generated by the post. “…you can be the best person possible, even near perfect, but if your wife doesn’t want to also do this, the place where Paul has gotten to cannot be attained.
Over at Sex Within Marriage, Jay Dee and I have had a nice bunny trail discussion in the comments of What about sex for the surviving spouse? He said, “what did we do to women that makes the current stereotype that they almost need to be tricked into sex? Because it sounds like they were quite v
I’ve talked before about the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias which causes people to believe they’re smarter and more capable than they actually are. And those who know the least tend to overestimate their knowledge the most.
I am increasingly convinced that being too busy and not getting enough rest and play are major causes of divorce and unhappy marriages. They also cause general unhappiness and early death, so there’s that too. If you live in the USofA, this is a difficult issue.
One reason women say no to sex is they’re tired and it’s just too much work. I realise that’s never most men’s reality, but for a lot of women, it’s a real thing.
I’ve said many times you can’t make your wife change, and you can’t. However, you can do things that require her to react and that usually means some sort of change. You can do things that encourage good change, do things that encourage bad change, or do things that discourage change.
A certain curmudgeonly librarian (who is actually a really nice guy) pointed out an article I’d not yet seen and suggested it was worthy of a post. And he was right. Clearly, this makes sex, and the wife’s sexual desire in particular, an important marriage issue.
This is from the comment on one of my blogs, “My husband refuses to buy me flowers because it is an over-priced cliche and he won’t stand for obligatory gestures.“ It sounds to me like the fellow is hurting his wife to make a point.
The next few days I will be doing some more or less related posts about statements I’ve heard about marriage that I don’t agree with. Some say God can/should supply everything we need and a spouse is not a part of that.
Do you and your wife tell each other lies about sex? I don’t mean hiding things like porn or an affair, but rather withholding information, putting a good face on things, “white lies,” and the like.
Today and Saturday I’m going to do a couple of posts inspired by comments on recent sex posts. Tomorrow “Being loving when sex is lacking”. Today “Love me, Love my Sexuality”.
Would you like your wife to enjoy sex more? What are you willing to do to make that happen? What would you be willing to sacrifice to make it happen?
Most of my posts this week have asked you to reconsider your lifestyle. Today I want to ask you to do that with sex in mind. The reality is many of us have a lifestyle that is not compatible with the sex life we’d like to have. For a woman, good sex requires time and energy.
As I mentioned last Saturday, orgasm is more difficult and far less sure for women. For a few lucky ladies, the difference is minor, but for many it is significant.
Comments on the last few posts have included the following, said to couples by (male) Christian counsellors: “He looked at me, and began to tell me how sex wasn’t that important…“ “Sex is not a need. It’s a desire.
First, let me say that some of you who think this doesn’t apply to you are wrong. Early in marriage when women find it difficult to orgasm reliably, they tell themselves and their husband’s that their orgasm isn’t that important.
I suggested doing something radical might change your marriage for the better. Could doing something radical change your sex life for the better? I’m not suggesting sex in the shower or on the dining room table here… not than those are a bad idea! What I’m suggesting is a reboot.
In Stand Up For What’s Right, Regardless I said that “when we choose to continue in a dysfunctional marriage we give our children and those around us a bad example. We also send a bad message to the world.” That very much applies to a dysfunctional sex life.
Up front let me say this is my personal opinion – with supporting evidence as I will mention. I think that God intended us to have intercourse as often as possible. Not just sex, but penis in vagina intercourse.
Yesterday I said that thinking it’s too complicated to accomplish is one of the two biggest obstacles to a couple having a better marriage. The second reason is that many think the result isn’t worth the effort.
At sixty I can very clearly see how my general health affects and sometimes limits my sex life. But you don’t have to be near retirement for this to be an issue. The other day I was talking with a friend in his mid-thirties who is in good shape.
This is a rather long follow up to the post I made recently and is inspired in part by comments on that post. What I want to do here is try to explain to men the sexual reality of most women1. I don’t think this is how it’s supposed to be, it’s not what God intended.
First third-party Simple enough – it’s someone other than you and your spouse – a third person added to the mix. It’s amazing what a third-party can see. We can get so wrapped up in our situation and our perspective that we can’t see things that are very clear to others.
Some things in life work fine if you work at them halfway, or only now and then. Marriage is not such a thing. If you’re not “all in” in your marriage, you’re cheating yourself and your wife big time. A halfway marriage is less than half as good as an all in marriage.
Lori and I have been kicking something around for a while, and the Christian Sex Class post Refreshment really helped to crystallise it for me. Two things jumped out at me in the post. Below are Ruth’s words, followed by my thoughts: Never having been a woman, I’d never thought about this.
I regularly suggest you ask your wife about sex. But what if she won’t talk about sex? I hear this often from men. They can’t get her to stop talking about everything else, but when it comes to sex they’re doing good to get three words. Why is she this way, and what can you do about it?
I’ve suggested in the past some women don’t want to orgasm every time, and a couple of weeks ago I pointed to Why I Sometimes Don’t Care about the Orgasm by J of Hot, Holy & Humorous.
This follows up on yesterday’s post Wants versus Needs. If you or your wife want to use “survival” as the line between what we want and what we need, that’s fine.
So I created a little gift for y’all. It’s a year’s worth of questions for couples. It’s a pdf. You can “right click” on the above link and save to your computer or just click on the link and it will open in your browser.
Yesterday I talked about not giving up on your marriage. One tool that can help (and really can be used regardless of the condition of your marriage) is to ask yourself, “If I could create a new marriage with my man, what would it look like?” (Be as specific as you can.)
A couple of days ago I listed Michele’s post about taking responsibility for your attitudes as a resource (Life of Joy: Hard Work). It’s been stuck in my brain since and in quiet moments it wanders about stirring up trouble. ;)
Pick an ordinary activity (like playing a board game or doing the dishes together) and invite your husband to do it naked. Have fun with it. :)
When the last of my kiddos left the nest, my husband and I were not strangers. Over the years, regardless of what was happening with work, kids, and such, we made a point of talking to each other and doing things together.
If I intend to make time for my husband today, but I choose to get busy and do other things, have I really benefitted my husband? Yes, life can happen and if it does, well … that is life, but if it happens often then it is a dynamic of our choosing and not something out of our control.
If your car was running rough would you consider going to a mechanic for a tuneup? If you were in trouble financially would you talk to a financial advisor (or take a Financial Peace course)? What if your knee was sore and didn’t seem to be getting better.
When someone comes to my house, I set aside what I’m doing, give them my attention, and generally engage with them. I think most of us can identify with that. Here’s the harder thought.
Feeling a bit bored in the bedroom? Try reading a good book about married sexuality.
When having sex for anxiety 3 times a week you cut your risk of experiencing a heart attack in half! Yes, that’s right – in half! Now that I’ve got your attention on the benefits of sex for anxiety, let’s look at 9 reasons why you need to get your partner into the sack more often:
9. How do we tell our partners WHY we're not in the mood for sex, without totally shutting them down? The Gottman Institute suggest creating rituals of connection around sex that allow both partners to invite as well as refuse sex.
The problem: we prioritize spontaneous desire. According to Dr. Fraser, the two types of sexual desire are called “spontaneous” and “responsive” desire. Just reading those two terms themselves might have cracked this idea wide open for you.
Something that we’ve become increasingly aware of in our marriage is how our tone of voice so significantly affects our communication – for better or for worse! It is remarkable how something so seemingly small can make such a huge impact on whether our communication is healthy, productive, and
In 2001, at the urging of her patients, clinical sex therapist Dr. Rosemary Basson published a diagram she had been using in her sessions.
It’s no secret that relationships often require constant work. This includes constantly improving communication, trust and intimacy. Today we’ll be sharing some of the best ways to improve intimacy in your relationship.
It’s not just compliments and sex he’s hoping for — though, let’s face it, he wouldn’t mind a little more of those, too. But really, have you ever wondered what you could do and how to make your husband happy? You are not alone! Men can be mysterious creatures.
Our site is bursting with fun and unique sex game ideas, but for the first time ever, we’ve gathered up our top 25 FAVORITE and free sex games for you to enjoy! All you need for these is you and your sweetheart. (And, maybe a little sense of adventure. We promise it will pay off!)
Today, we’re here to tell you what men really want in bed! And the best part: These are just as satisfying for you too!
Sex…with benefits! So maybe you’ve been married for a while. You are comfortable with your “routine” in the bedroom…but maybe it just doesn’t happen as much as you’d like it to.
Children. They are adorable, they are LOUD, they are so easy to shop for, they are PERSISTENT, they are sweet. There are a million reasons why we spoil our children.
Contrary to some people’s beliefs, it is not unusual for couples to face differences in their libidos, meaning sex drives. However, more often than not, it is the woman who experiences the lower libido.
Sex-pectations can vary throughout the duration of any relationship. It’s only natural that as newlyweds, a high desire for one another and a busy sex schedule are a natural part of your everyday relationship.
The biblical view of marriage is of a God-given, voluntary, sexual and public social union of one man and one woman for the purpose of serving God.
How does it make you feel when your partner is cold and distant? Or when they’re critical and prickly? Does it make you want to rip their clothes off, order in a vat of whipped cream and install a chandelier to swing from?
Photo by Content Pixie on UnsplashWe are the sum total of our daily habits. If you’ve read many self-help books I’m sure you’ve read the quote. It’s true. Same works for marriage. It’s the sum total of our daily habits that make it great.
These 7 C’s of communication in marriage will help you learn to connect and build a strong foundation for relationship success. Joe Vital tells the story of how Bruce Barton (legendary advertising man) saved the United States Steel Corporation.
Do you want to build a healthy relationship with your partner? If so, then it is important that you develop habits for relationship success. In this article we will go over 11 tips that will help strengthen the bond that makes your partnership great!
After a recent make-out session with my wife (she’ll kill me for writing this), I made the comment, “Wow, I feel better now!” She smiled with that “me too!” grin. It also made me think about science. What? Before you say I’m weird, hear me out.
In becoming intimate with your spouse, there must always be an effort to keep things exciting. This doesn't mean being sexually adventurous at all times. It often means just being generous, putting their pleasure above your own.
According to keyword search data, nearly 9,000 people search this term every month as an average. (Since you're reading this, you might be one of them). Maybe it's to find reassurance that you're normal. That it's okay the honeymoon phase is over—that feeling "stuck" happens to all of us.
Is sex really important in marriage? Has a sex-obsessed society caused Christians to see sex as more important than it is? Or, have Christians reacted against the sex-obsessed society by downplaying how critical sex is for married couples? It seems the church has some of both groups.
When our children were small, I used to hear my wife speaking to our kids in a tone of voice that sounded like they were her worst enemies….but she couldn’t hear it! And she would hear me speaking to our kids in a tone of voice that made her fear for the lives of our children….
A lot of couples I see in my office eventually end up sharing that they’re not having sex. Lately, I’m seeing a lot of angry, shut down men. That’s a good clue for what is really going on. When a couple isn’t having sex, it is usually the wives who initiate therapy.
Ok, ladies. You’ve asked for it and here it is. We sent out Part 1 of this topic (which focused on women not having sex), and within minutes we started receiving comments from women complaining about their husbands not wanting sex.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable talking about sex with your partner, because you weren’t sure how to broach the subject to them? There comes a time in every relationship where wordless communication about sex just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Sexual communication is vital for a happy and mutually satisfying relationship. Are you good at sexual communication with your partner? New findings show that sexual communication skills are not related to marriage.
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Many people are familiar with the statement, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” In fact, this has been confirmed by some well-known research conducted by Dr. Albert Mehrabian. His studies concluded that communication is 7% verbal and 93% non-verbal.
Romantic expressions are usually at their highest during courtship and diminish greatly after marriage. Many believe romance isn’t as necessary as it once was. Others believe it isn’t as important as it once was. We disagree with both views. It doesn’t replace it.
I love Scrabble. Tom doesn’t. Mostly because words are my friends, and he feels outnumbered when we play. But we don’t play much anymore, which is sad. Words could be Tom’s friends too, if he would just give them a chance. He has a better relationship with numbers. Me? Not so much.
A new year is upon us. 2022. And we have another opportunity to be intentional in our pursuit of each other and God. Spiritual intimacy comes easier for some than others.
Yesterday we talked about the challenges all couples face when it comes to money. If resolve isn’t found, it can be the final death blow to a struggling marriage. There is another challenging area in marriage often cited as the reason for divorce.
Believe it or not, I haven’t felt very romantic lately. Disappointments, unexpected news, interruptions, sickness, accidents – Life! It happens to all of us at one time or another. For some it can seem like a revolving door of trouble.
You’ve probably had it happen in your marriage too. Your spouse is telling a familiar story to some friends and they get a detail wrong. How could they not remember how it happened? Admonishment is my knee-jerk reaction in such scenarios. “It wasn’t in February.
You read that right. In 2017, my husband received at least 365 blowjobs (more than one blowjob a day sometimes). My intent was complex. I wanted to make him happy and satisfied, sure. He enjoys recieving blowjobs, like 73 percent of men do according to this study.
Inside: Psychologists say that for a healthier relationship, you should kiss your spouse for 7 seconds a day. Keep reading for a marriage challenge that anyone can do, with instant results! Have you ever gotten to the end of the day and realized that you hadn’t kissed your husband at all?
“Wives should submit to their husbands in everything” is a fundamental command for all those who want to do marriage God’s way. One can never arrive at a point where two have truly become one flesh until the two are in union and harmony with each other.
From a comment on Are Wives in Submission to Their Husbands Inferior? I grew up seeing two generations of women flagrantly refusing to submit, and the effects on their marriages was disastrous. No unity, no sweet companionship, but a very them (men) vs. us (women) mentality.
Sex is fun. Good sex is really fun.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22 NASB). Wise words from the very book of wisdom. I’ve gotta say, there’s nothing I’ve yet seen that compares to the beauty, wonder, and blessing I’ve found in my wife.
Hebrews 13:4 KJV: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. NIV: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Many discussions have played out before me on the topic of homeschooling one’s children. The answer seems to be different for every parent. Part of it depends on the quality of the would-be educators available at home.
Previously, I wrote about the precise language used in Hebrews 13:4 that offers a clearly-drawn line in how we as married couples can honor or defile our marriage bed or the collective sensuality within the marriage.
Not good, right? I mean, look how it turned out for Sodom. Their sin was “grievous” according to the outcry reported by the Lord, and He destroyed the great city for their sin.
I want to challenge you to give your husband an orgasm every day for two weeks. Let him know upfront what you intend to do. How you do it can be whatever works for you, and when it works for you. See the image for example.
A while ago Lori and I were talking with a couple who are married long enough to have high school-age children. I said something about how improving either your marriage relationship or your sex life resulted in improvements in the other. The woman disagreed with me.
A lot of folks consider hand jobs something teenagers do and look down on them. Granted the vast majority of husbands would rather have intercourse or oral, but handjobs can be a great part of a couple’s sex life. First, it’s easier and less messy than most of the alternatives.
One of my most read posts over on TGH is Signal to Noise Ratio. The idea is that your sexuality is the signal, and all other sex and nudity is noise or interference.
The other day someone commented on an old answer I did on Quora. I saw that my answer was the top one and had 92K views and 160 upvotes, so I thought it was worth doing a slightly extended version of the post here. There is one fantasy most men have about their wife ALL. THE. TIME.
Lori and I have had a number of women tell us that having sex more often means they enjoy it more. It’s not universal, but it seems to be the norm. I recently saw a study that gives a hint as to why this may be so.
Based on the title, I suspect you’re either thinking “I wish” or “no way”. If it’s the latter, please hear me out – it could make a big difference in your marriage. What does Near Daily Sex mean?
Is sex a part of the whole or is it a separate corner of your marriage? #SexQuestion ~ TMB Twitter Is your sex life a part of your shared life with your husband or is it in a separate box? Do you flow in and out of sex, or do you have to mentally change gears for sex?
This post and the one I will put up on The Generous Husband on Saturday are very similar, with a few changes based on the primary gender of the audience.
I suggested on Wednesday that giving your husband what you want might fall short of giving him what he wants. This is especially true when it comes to sex. The sexual wiring of his body and brain are significantly different from the way you’re wired.
Most men are not into the idea of scheduled sex. But it’s a great tool for a busy marriage and if you work it right you can make him a fan. Of course, if you schedule it, you need to be sure it happens unless there is a real disaster or emergency!
What do you imagine your spouse prays for/about you? Are you in agreement? #MarriageTip Does your husband pray for you? Hopefully, he does. But what does he pray and is it what you would like him to be praying?
Imagine you really need to pee. As in being in pain and about to embarrass yourself gotta pee. What men feel when they really need to climax is nowhere as strong as that, but it is a good analogy. Now dial that back to you need a restroom soon, but you are not yet in distress.
From a comment: I had a question I wanted to ask, but you know what – I asked my husband instead. I wanted to know why, when I give OS, he goes bananas, which he does not do with PIV, but he says he likes PIV better.
Have you ever felt men are obsessed with oral sex? Does your husband beg you to do oral on him? Does he pout if you say no? Our survey on this issue does support the idea most men are really into oral sex. Forty-two percent of men said they would like to receive oral sex more often.
There are exceptions, but the majority of men say intercourse is the best, most enjoyable, and most satisfying sex act. And it’s not all in his head, there’s some science to support that.
I recently read an article entitled “Why men need to relieve themselves of ‘orgasm obligation’“. A secular woman writes it from a single and dating viewpoint, so it’s not completely relevant for this group. However, it does touch on something I’ve heard from wives.
Last week over on TGH I talked to the guys about “pussy whipped” – which is generally defined as a man who lets his wife control him with sex. Whipped guys do what their wives want in a desperate attempt to get a bit of sex. Whipped guys are seen as pathetic and unmanly.
This question is the result of an email from one of you. Her husband is the only man she’s seen naked, but from what she’s read she thinks he’s fairly well endowed. Her husband says he’s not concerned about his size, but when the wife comments on it being large he’s obviously pleased.
According to Science, You Should Be Having More Sex. Let’s Look At 7 Scientific Reasons Why You Should Be Getting it On More It’s Science You See 😀 //Thread👇👇 1. Sex Burns Calories That’s right, it’s a proven fact that sex burns calories.
When Eric’s wife initiated sex with him, it spoke to his heart. “I can’t tell you how much my wife’s gesture meant to me. When she initiated having sex, it was as if she were screaming to me, ‘I love you so much. I understand the pressure you’ve been under.
“I hate sex,” Shelly told me. “It makes me angry to hear you even suggest that I’m supposed to be enjoying it. I’ve been married 23 years and have never enjoyed it. Frankly, I do it because I’m supposed to.” I hear from women like Shelly quite often.
God cares about your sex life. It may seem weird to see the words God and sex in the same sentence. Sometimes when I teach women on this topic, they have a visceral reaction to the concept of God knowing about their sex life. Psalm 139 tells us that God is always with us.
Okay, that's a really corny title for this post. But I've been thinking for a while about the verse in Song of Solomon which says, "Do not awaken love until it is ready." Several routes to this disastrous awakening exist.
Are the higher drive husband, and you’re wondering what to do because your wife rarely wants sex? We opened the week looking at frequency of sex in marriage. Usually marriages start off with couples having sex relatively frequently (like at least several times a week).
How Can You Make Your Husband Feel Good for Valentine’s Day? Romance is in the air–or, if it’s not at your house, maybe you can sprinkle it there! Because Valentine’s Day lands on a Top 10 Tuesday for my blog, I was debating what I should write about. And then it came to me.
I hope you all had a great time yesterday going over 14 ways to play with your husband! All of those things will make intimacy more natural. Now we’ve got ourselves thinking in the right direction, and laughing together to smooth over issues and increase goodwill.
4. Do you find it easier to feel sexual hunger than dangerous emotions? Finally, here’s a big one that we talked about in last week’s podcast, too. Sometimes we grow up and we’re inadvertently taught that certain emotions are bad.
I know that you want a close and intimate marriage. We all do! Close and intimate doesn’t happen when one person is getting what they need; close and intimate happens when you both truly feel cared for and “known”.
Being nice to your husband does not make you a doormat. And, along the same lines, let me say something which really shouldn’t be controversial: Making love with your husband, when you don’t particularly want to initially, is not the same as rape.
Should you make love with your husband even if you don’t feel like having sex? It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! Recently I noticed a great post linked up in the comments by one of my frequent readers–Lindsay Harold from Lindsay’s Logic, answering the question “what sho
What does that mean for us? You see, men were designed to need very little stimulation. They see something and they’re ready to go. Women, on the other hand, simply don’t work that way. We need to relax, be able to concentrate on what’s going on, and slowly heat up.
But then second, we’re told that not only are we responsible for the things that are actually men’s responsibility; we’re told that we can’t verbalize and communicate things that ARE our responsibility.
Scenario 1: Relationship Issues–ie. Wondering, “Does my wife hate me?” It’s really important to first examine yourself and make sure that relationship issues are not the cause.
If you want to balance getting spicy in the bedroom with feeling like you totally respect and honour each other, “his” and “hers” nights are a great marriage tool! We’re closing up the second week of our Sizzling Summer Sex Series, and today I want to talk about one way couples can negotia
We’re in the home stretch of our 29 Days to Great Sex, leading up to the release of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (Update: It’s available now!).
You’re Not Alone! Many Women Don’t Like Being Touched in Certain Places First I want to say, loudly and clearly: You’re not alone. Many women find parts of their bodies are just off-limits sexually.
Are all men perverts? It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you all can link up your own marriage posts below. Today I want to start a short series on the lies we often believe about men, starting with this one: all men are perverts.
Can we really experience spiritual intimacy during sex? To be truly spiritually intimate is beautiful. It’s the difference between making love and just having sex.
It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and Mark has told Sandra that she’s been so tired lately, she really needs a morning off. He’s going to take the kids, and she’s going to go to the gym and then wander around some antique markets and get some lovely coffee, all by herself.
Let’s think about these different scenarios: In all cases, the couples (at least initially) were having sex several times a week. In two of the three, the women were reaching orgasm. They were having sex 2-3 times a week, but the wives were told, “we don’t do this often enough.
Take all these things together, and what we find, I think, is that couples who are happy and healthy make love at least once a week.
After this section the Penners give two examples of couples where this may happen–one with a woman with the lower libido and one with the man, which is helpful to not have it all one way.
Here’s another way to try new things. Put the things you want to try on a dice, and then roll the dice and do what it says! I’ve got a Dice Game that you can print out right here. Here’s another fun–and adventurous–one.
Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage and is the co-author of Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com.
It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! And today we’re going to talk about why you have to initiate sex–if you want your husband to feel important. That means that today I am going to totally tick a bunch of you off.
And I guess I write so much about this because sex the area that is the most contentious, and often the most difficult, in marriage, because men and women approach it so differently.
You see, my friends, men are usually quite simple. Usually we say men need “respect”, but I think respect can be more easily defined as both affirmation and appreciation. When we affirm what they do and show them appreciation, they feel ten feet tall.
Fun conversation starters for couples: Does that sound kind of fake? Like if you need conversation topics, then you’ve got a problem? Today’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! And today I thought I’d list some great conversation starters that you can use with your husband when y
It’s Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up! Today I want to talk about maintenance sex and women’s libido.
So I’m reading this and the one thing I keep thinking about is my situation. For ten years my wife would reject me. We would talk about it, she’d say something like “I never say no” but her signals would. I’d then think it was me, then I’d initiate again and get the same signals.
Sex is everywhere. From the entertainment industry, to literature and music, all the way down to a basic car commercial or advertisement for a bar of soap.
Any married person will tell you: there's a huge difference between the expectations of marriage, and the reality of what marriage is actually like. For so many couples the struggle is real as the "reality check" of marriage begins to unfold with each passing year.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about sex after marriage is that people assume that just because they waited to have it until marriage, their sex life will be magical – guaranteed. We’re taught that virginity is the key to a fulfilling sex life come the wedding night.
Misconception #3: Your virginity is your most important quality, anything less is undesirable. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she shared the story of her dark sexual past, with tears welling up in her eyes.
There’s a disturbing trend that’s sweeping the nation. It’s impacting our sons, influencing our daughters, and affecting our entire culture. It’s seeping into other parts of the world, even those that tend to uphold a traditional view on marriage and relationships.
Do you remember it being pounded into our brains when we were young women growing up? “Don’t have sex… Don’t have sex…. Don’t have sex.” …. “Don’t have sex!”
You love your man! You want to be a loving woman who meets his needs and makes him happy. Marriage can be hard though!! Here are goals to be an awesome wife to your man, all the way from A to Z! Make your marriage a fun, fulfilling, people-around-you-notice kind of marriage!
Guess what?! Christian women talk about sex! Gasp! So if you’re looking for a marriage blog that shys away from this topic, my blog probably isn’t the one for you. I’ve never quite understood the aversion to the topic.
This week on The Conversation @garyLthomas, @debfileta & I talk about mis-matched sex drives, how our sexpectations impact sexual intimacy, practical tips that can improve your sex life with your spouse today, & so much more Catch our conversation here: https://t.co/MUf3fONoX5
We have all seen couples that look like they have an amazing relationship and have everything together and we wonder what their secrets are and yearn for that kind of relationship.
This articles was reposted and used with permission from Cindy Scharkey DO YOU FIGHT ABOUT SEX IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? YOU’RE NOT ALONE One of most common arguments among couples is how often they’re having sex. Frequently, it comes down to one partner wanting sex more than the other.
There seems to be a recent trend of marriage bloggers (particularly in the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association) posting their “confessions” as marriage bloggers. Most of them seem to be sort of “get to know me” points as well. So I will attempt to continue the trend.
One of our largest topics of conflict (in the past) is that I (from her perspective) “want sex all the time”. I have a pretty hard time denying that allegation, because, well, it’s true. I see this theme a lot in my readings on message boards, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Christian couples have a lot of questions about what is and isn’t allowed in the marriage bed. One of them is whether or not sex toys are allowed. Can we use sex toys? Should we use sex toys? There are different opinions on this, but, as with always, we want to go to the Bible for answers.
I get a lot of emails from spouses. I get to read about a lot of marriages in those emails. I get to read about how spouses react, how they think, their struggles, their concerns, their hopes, their fears. One of the big struggles I see is in how to be authentic with your spouse.
Our pilot group consisted of wives whose age ranged from 29 to 57 and had been married between 7 and 25 years. The course takes about 3 months to complete.
Alright, my last post (My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?!) raised a lot of questions, so I’m going to address them in this post. This is going to be much more of an FAQ/How-To whereas Part 1 was more of a theological/philosophical discussion.
Can a Christian marriage survive without it ever once being consummated? My wife and I had pain issues in every attempt to consummate our relationship. We stopped trying altogether about 12 years into the marriage.
I received this question from our anonymous Have A Question page last month. I have more recent ones, but to be honest, I don’t follow a “first come first serve” policy. I sort of pick whichever one I’m inspired to answer on any given day.
Alright, here’s a technique for those who are a bit more adventurous in the bedroom. Just as a warning to the husbands: DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH YOUR WIFE FIRST. I’ll admit, I was a bit hesitant to bring it up with my wife, but I was curious.
For those of you who have filled out the survey (and if you didn’t, you still can here), you know that one of the reasons I ran the survey was because someone made the comment: [My wife] claims that NO ONE does that every week, month or more than once or twice a year… regarding grooming, and I
Now, it could be argued that being married gives you the right to have sex. 1 Corinthians 7:5 would support this claim, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect, when you get married, that sex is on the table (chair, rug by the fire, bed, or whatever).
I’ve been getting a lot of requests for information on bondage play. Sadly, this is probably in partially due to the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon, but there are some couples who are genuinely interested, without that influence.
OK, I know, I know, every blog about marriage, relationships, etc has at least one article with that title. They usually have a large list of techniques, activities. Maybe they suggest a blindfold (gasp). But that’s the easy stuff. I’ll do my best to explain it.
Last week, I posted an anonymous question where someone asked how many wives actually like giving oral sex. In the comments, people wanted to know how many husbands actually like giving oral sex. So, I guess this isn’t technically considered an anonymous question, but more a Part 2.
I don’t remember when I got this question. Honestly, I don’t even know how I got it. Could have been an email, or through our anonymous Have A Question page, or on a survey comment.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve been getting more and more comments from women say that they want sex more than their husbands, completely shattering the stereotype that men always want more sex.
Short answer: No. I don’t mean “tell him “NO””. I mean, there is no good way to tell your husband “No Sex Tonight”. Here’s why:
For most of our marriage, oral sex has been very one sided. For the first years, it was solely me performing oral sex on my wife, and never the other way around. It took her years to get accustomed to the idea, actually it’s a fairly recent development.
Is it unreasonable for me (husband) to expect my wife to continue to remove pubic hair, like she did when we were dating? We’ve been married 11 years (second for both of us), and she’s indicated that she thinks that shaving or waxing is “too porno” for her, and refuses to entertain the idea.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this topic for the last few days, weeks, months, years. I guess it’s been on my mind since I got married, or shortly afterwards.
This post is in response to a comment on the Why Do Married Men Masturbate post where a wife’s husband admitted to masturbating and she’s struggling with how to deal with that revelation. I’ve copied the comment below for reference. Thank you for this post.
I’ve seen this question in a few places where all of a sudden a wife lets out that she wants her husband to tie her up. Note: I’ve been seeing these WAY before 50 Shades of Grey was even a concept.
If you don’t want to read through all the stats, you can jump to my summary at the bottom. Interesting note: We’re only dealing with 14 respondents in the oral sex survey who said that oral sex is not part of their marriage.
A couple of weeks ago, I started running a survey to answer the question of one of the people in my Uncovering Intimacy Champions group. Namely “How many men can’t orgasm from oral sex”. Well, I expanded it a bit to answer a few more questions.
At weddings, I have been known to stand up and give an analogy of marriage as a three legged stool. You need all three in order to have a stable marriage. This is not to say you can’t have a marriage without all three.
Last month someone emailed me telling me just how amazing they were doing after going through our Sexploration List. I posted some of their testimonial on social media (with permission). You may have seen it: During their email, they also asked some questions, which I wanted to pick up here.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | iHeartRadio | Stitcher | Podchaser | Email | TuneIn | Deezer | RSS Every marriage blog and podcast has a post or an episode telling you how to spice up your
I think a lot of spouses are scared of initiating sex and I think that fear exists on all sides: high drive, low drive, husband, wife, they may have different reasons for being scared, but I think many of us are scared of initiating sex with our spouses.
For the first 8 or so years of our marriage, my wife and I were in a constant argument about sexual frequency in our marriage. This seems to be a common theme with many couples. At least the ones who are willing to talk about it.
At the request of a few readers, I ran a survey a week and a bit ago asking people what their favorite positions were during sex. And I decided to hold out doing the analysis until we hit 500 respondents. That seemed to work, because we got them. 527 actually, not bad.
I’ve reading some of the comments from our making home videos and taking home pictures survey (please fill it out if you haven’t already), and I noticed a lot of spouses saying they’ve be afraid of someone seeing the pictures or video. Completely understandable.
In some marriages, the spouse with the lower sex drive simply decides their perspective is the most important and ends up being the gatekeeper of sex. That is, they decide when sex is, what sort of sex there is, and generally it’s given out fairly infrequently.
One thing my wife started doing when we were trying to improve our sex life was to start to go to bed naked.
I tend to have interests that are obsessions for short periods of time, sometimes a few weeks, sometimes a quarter, sometimes 6 months. But the two main interests of my life are Theology and Sexuality.
My wife isn’t very adventurous. What can I do to respect her wishes to be less adventurous? What can I do to help her become more adventurous? It’s really two questions, isn’t it, but I think the underlying question is: what do you do with a sexually unadventurous spouse?
The difference in sexual desire between a husband and a wife is one of those universal conflicts. I think just about every marriage deals with it at some point. If yours hasn’t yet – well congratulations newlyweds! Just because it’s a conflict though doesn’t mean it ends up a fight.
Those of you who read my blog posts, or have heard me speak, might have heard me drop my belief that the Bible was written with the assumption that women had the higher sex drive, or at least were evenly matched. Now, in our culture, this idea may seem laughable.
The secular, evolutionist, world likes to tells that marriage fulfills a societal need of resource distribution. Women have what men want (sex), and men have what women want (resources and protection).
I was asked this question recently over Twitter, so it’s not quite anonymous, but well, it was easier to stick with the same graphic. Plus, I didn’t ask if the questioner wanted to be attributed, so I thought it best to keep it this way.
Over the years, I’ve heard many people, men and women, say that they wish God would take away their sex drive. In our darkest days of marriage, I did the same myself. These days, I’m glad God didn’t grant me that wish.
Often people are confused about how their reactions to things change when their aroused vs not aroused. Here’s an example from our anonymous questions page: My wife loves anal stimulation with a finger or two during oral. But when I go anywhere near otherwise, I get told to stay away.
Unveiled Wife initially began because of a strain of intimacy in my marriage. Sex was a struggle in my marriage for many years and it wasn’t something that was easy to talk about. I felt led to start a page that would encourage and pray for other wives.
"It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it." I know my husband and I have uttered this cliché phrase in multiple exchanges, and it’s become the one thing in our marriage that we strive to work on the most.
1 Corinthians - Week 9 // 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Kevin A. Thompson // September 7, 2014 www.communitychurch.com twitter.com/Community_Bible facebook.com/CommunityBible.AR
When their marriages fell into the doldrums, two long-married couples decided to find out if having sex every day could boost their relationships. If you decided to have sex every day, would your relationship benefit?
The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physical and emotional changes that occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation.
Partnered sex can be super-pleasurable, passionate, and connective—but those feel-good effects are mostly the case when all folks involved are invested in the shared goal of enjoyment for all.
A healthy sex life is linked to a number of great benefits: a longer lifespan, improved heart health, and decreased stress, to name a few. That said, at one point or another, it's likely you've simply been too tired to have it.
Familiarity breeds contempt—or so goes the old expression. But according to a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, that doesn't have to be the case (good news for those who just gave their partner the side eye).
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Highly sexual couples have several habits in common, including not waiting to be "in the mood" to have sex.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after. End of story, right? Not always. While it's true that couples may relax a bit after they've tied the knot, they may feel confused or worried if or when their fairy tale starts to slip away.
I enjoy going down on women. It makes me feel good to know that the person I'm with is (hopefully) really enjoying herself. Apparently, that's a sentiment most dudes share, according to Jane Greer, Ph.D.
It has come to my attention that there is a terrible rumor going around about men: that we're selfish in bed. Hey, I'll admit, there's not a man I know who will decline oral sex from a woman he fancies.
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One day while my kids and some neighbor kids were playing in the kitchen and my husband, Dave, had just come home from work, he walked in the kitchen, pulled me close, hugged me, and greeted me with a kiss.
The sweetest sound in the world, to me, is my wife Ashley’s voice! I enjoy listening to her singing, whispering, flirting or talking about nearly any subject in the world.
Imagine a marriage with complete intimacy, vulnerability, transparency and trust. Imagine a marriage rooted in faith, friendship and mutual fulfillment. Imagine a marriage with amazing sex, but where great sex is only the icing on the cake.
One of the greatest needs of married couples in the thick of raising kids and building careers is time alone with each other. Time can be so limited in this busy season of life due to school activities, job obligations, keeping up a home, and the list goes on and on.
If you look at Adam and Eve in Genesis 2, before everything got cracked and fragmented, theirs is a beautiful story told in pictures of love, connection, and true relationship. They truly knew God and they truly knew each other.
My wife Ashley and I have received thousands of marriage-related questions online, at live events, and through The Naked Marriage Podcast. These questions cover a myriad of marriage-related topics, but some of the most frustrated and desperate questions have centered around the issue related to sex.
In my years of working with married couples, I’ve discovered that many marital problems can be traced to issues, struggles and frustrations related to SEX.
In Matthew 6, Jesus said, “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” That last sentence is powerful.
Ashley and I love the questions we receive from our readers, viewers, and Naked Marriage Podcast listeners. Many of those questions become the inspiration for new podcast episodes, videos, and blog articles like this one.
Most people spend the energy that God gave them to love each other, trying to change each other. But meeting each other’s needs creates and maintains the attraction between you, maintaining the health of a marriage and minimizing outside risks. It’s a win-win situation.
Ashley and I went on a trip earlier this year to celebrate her 40th birthday (even though she only looks 25). For big birthdays, we’ve always valued time away together more than store-bought gifts. We love sharing new adventures.
In every conflict there is an opportunity for deeper connection. Have you ever experienced your heart softening towards someone who moments earlier was frustrating you to your core? This has happened to me in most of my close relationships.
When we talk about nakedness in marriage, our natural tendency is to immediately think of sexual intimacy, but nakedness in marriage is about much more than the act of sex. Rhonda and Jake have been our friends for more than a decade. Our kids have played with their kids.
A few weeks back, I penned a piece on here about how to have a simultaneous orgasm with your partner. There are a few tips and tricks that are included; one of them is making sure that the both of you communicate with one another.
So here are seven keys to help you unlock that great sex life. #1 Twice a week. Practice makes perfect. Sure, sex is a great chance to have an orgasm, but more than that, sex connects you and brings you closer.
My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage. I stay home with the kids and he goes out into the world and “slays dragons.” (Well, he works for the local gas and water company, but “slays dragons” sounds more edgy, doesn’t it?) We are your typical chaotic family.
Are we men just using the Bible to “have it our way” and get what we want, when we want and in the way we want? Or is there perhaps more to it? There seems to be a lot of reference in the blogosphere to wives being Biblically submissive and the term seems to be often misused and abused by both C
In Part 3 of this series, I gave some examples of what a husband is looking for when he wants his wife to show up sexually. Some of them were variations of things I spoke of in very explicit terms in Part 2 where I addressed how a wife shows her husband she wants him sexually. In Part 4.
When was the last time the two of you shared sex? For a fortunate few of you, it may have been hours ago, some of you days and, alas, for some of us it may be going on a week or more.
How many of you women regularly shave under your arms? Most of you do I’m sure. Almost all women who have been raised in western cultures also shave their legs. Not shaving those areas is something mpre often seen in some western and eastern European cultures.
Is Honesty the Best Policy in Your Marriage? Lo and behold, after 25+ years of marriage, I realized that this philosophy does not hold suit. It was all a lie. So many fights and ups and downs came about through me thinking that this philosophy of honesty was critical in a marriage.
No affection can be one of the first things to happen in a relationship after you get married and have children. Along with life's many other stressors, couples all too often withdraw into themselves and forget how important it is to gently touch their partner on a regular basis.
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We all know it... that moment when you feel a conversation take a turn for the worst. Things begin to escalate and a fight seems inevitable. In this episode, Ryan and Selena talk through five ways you can keep the "turn for the worst" from happening. Book mentioned about anger: https://amzn.to/3BLs
In this talk entitled "A Man and His Wife" from GraceAgenda 2021, Pastor Doug Wilson discusses manhood and marriage. Enjoying this video? Check out Doug's book, "Federal Husband: Covenant Headship and the Christian Man" today! https://canonpress.com/products/federal-husband/ The last several years
Here are my 10 most important Tips for the most satisfying and fun BJ 🤩 What do you think? If you have any tips to add, please comment them below! For all my platforms and content, click here: https://linktr.ee/Roxyfoxisback
Both men and women pretend to have orgasms, and the practice of “faking” is fairly common. Research suggests that women are more likely to fake orgasm than men are. In this video, Dr. Kelly Casperson and I will discuss why women are faking orgasms and why she wants you to know she came. Watch no
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In this video I talk about how to deep throat and how to experience your very first throat orgasm! SIGN UP FOR MY *FREE* SENSUAL SECRETS ONLINE COURSE: www.aidalucie.com (just leave your email on the homepage!) LET'S STAY CONNECTED Website: www.AidaLucie.com Instagram: @Aida_Lucie Facebook: https
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Millions of women deal with low or nonexistent libido. I share what I believe to be the #1 cause of this issue, and how to heal it! Read about more causes of low sex drive right here: https://www.abrighterwild.com/blog/13-things-that-could-be-killing-your-sex-drive Want more healing tips and guidan